Newbie alert(13 Posts)
Hi I'm new to this board and looking for some support as only my best friend knows we are struggling to conceive and she is currently pregnant so I am finding it very difficult to talk to her about it.
I'm 32 and been ttc for 18 months and so far nothing.
I know it sounds silly but I always had it in the back of my mind that I might struggle to have a baby.
I've had an ultrasound which came back clear and day 21 bloods which showed that I am ovulating. I'm going to see a gynaecologist in a few weeks as I have been having spotting in between my periods and I have been referred for more fertility tests but need to wait for my dh to have a sperm analysis first.
So there we are. As I have already said I have only told my best friend that we are struggling. People keep asking me when I'm going to have a baby and I keep shrugging it off but it's so hard and it's really getting me down.
Hoping I can open my heart to you guys on here to try and help me get it all off my chest
Why at 32 you are a mere whippersnapper! You are young and have time on your side so don't panic!
You are doing the right thing having investigations and IF there is an issue you are young enough to have that dealt with! Fertility treatments work best with those under 35 so even if you need them you will still have a good chance of them working (IF you do need them) . Wait for those results and discuss the best way forward.
Hi I'm new also! 😊
I've stumbled across this blog and so far it's already helping. I also clam up when people ask (and EVERYONE asks!) about babies and when etc. I wish people would just not ask but I know they mean no harm. And my favourite "it's about time now yous had your baby" 😡
Anyway, we are both learning allot as we go.... recently I was advised about taking starflower oil which is what lead me here. I'm going to try it. I'm also spotting a week before periods so think something is happening but I need a kickstart of hormones being balanced maybe. Have been to doc had bloods done all good to go they said .... hubby had too all good to go. But if it doesn't happen within the next 2 attempts, we will go back
To the fertility clinic/doctor. Have only done the ovulation kit once and tried properly for first time a week ago .... before that we were only guessing.... I am 36 and we have been trying on and off for about a year .... also I've been off the pill for around 10 years! Have been told because of this I might need hormone rebalancing!? It's all so new to me! Nobody I know very personally has been through this in the same way.
I do realise people are only trying to help, but I just get such anxiety when physically talking about it! Writing is allot easier! 🤗
Anyway, best of luck with everything!
Hi Fiestylittleowl! OMG this is actually my story as well. I hate it when people ask me about having kids. It is so frustrating as this is my number one goal at the moment. I am 34 started trying a while ago but as you also said I have always had that thought that I might be struggling with getting pregnant, not sure why but I have always felt that way and I was right! Anyway I am after my first initial appointment at fertility clinic the doctor was supper understanding and approachable, my hubby needs to do his sperm test again and I need to do HSG and an ultrasound again. Provided everything is still ok I will be then prescribed Clomid. My DR said that her ladies usually get pregnant after 3rd round of Clomid so that made me smile ;-) Also I have low progesterone hence I do not ovulate on a regular basis which is the reason why I am not pregnant yet. I also have spotting between periods hence I will have one more ultrasound to determine the cause of it. I have no option but stay positive although I do have moments when my I suddenly feel tears coming to my eyes especially when I ask myself why me. I guess there is no answer to that. I am a Catholic and when people say when I will have kids I just smile and say' when God lets me have them' this usually shuts peoples mouths;-) good luck Ladies!
Thanks for everyone's messages.
Just found out a family member is pregnant. Trying to be happy for them but it is so unfair
Owl, don't compare yourself too much or you'll go mad ;) One of my best friends has just announced her pregnancy too. My sister has 2 fantastic DC that were both conceived in the first cycle that she tried... There are also more babies due amongst family and friends this year... I do get jealous but try really heard not to compare myself or feel hard done by - everyone has their own struggles in life...
I do dread being asked about having children, though... What do you girls tend to answer? I usually go for 'maybe'.
I know you shouldn't compare but it's really difficult. 4 of us got married within months of each other at work and I am the only one who has not had a baby. I get asked most weeks when am I going to have one. I just laugh it off but inside my heart drops.
I know I should be greatful for all the good things in my life but all I want is a baby
Hopefully, it won't be long now that you've started the ball rolling. We had our tests back in February and we're going to have our first IVF in July.
Hi guys I am new to this too, has anybody been on clomid?
I'm a newbie too. I totally feel you feistylittleowl. Two friends, both of whom have struggled with fertility problems, have just told me they are pregnant for the second and third time. We have been trying for 2 years and have got nowhere. I have always had irregular periods and, same as you, just knew it would be a problem someday. I have had to come off social media because so many friends have babies and even though I love them all, I can't cope with seeing that perfect little window into their lives when it is everything I want. Decorating the nursery and late night feeds and cute swaddling wraps is all I can ever think of. My arms ache to hold a child of my own.
People ask me all the time too when we will have a baby. Or worse, parents tell me why it's so awful to have kids and to be content without them. I haven't told people we are trying so I know they don't realise how insensitive they are being, but still, it's hard to keep pretending.
But then I don't know about you, but I can't help being so insensitive to myself. I have read so much material on pregnancy and baby care. I have researched the best cribs, car seats and high chairs. And if I'm feeling really reckless, I'll go round the JohnLewis baby section and imagine what I would buy if I had a little one. Then I just get super depressed about it all! Crazy I know!
We have just started down the doctors route who have cleared my ovaries, blood tests, general health and my husbands sperm count. Here's hoping that it's a short journey from here.
Thanks for posting. It's really nice to know we are not alone even though it feels that way sometimes.
It's so nice to hear from others going through the same thing as me. I haven't let myself think about the actual reality of having a baby as I don't want to upset myself but I do think about being pregnant.
I have a friend who constantly moans about how tired she is and how much hard work her kids are. I would give anything for that. She doesn't know how lucky she is.
Got my appointment at the gynaecologist next week. Think once that is done I'm going to have to tell my mum. I have not told her anything because I know she will be massively supportive but I don't want to upset her. All she had ever wanted is to be a grandmother.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.