Going crazy

[knrthomas]

Hi all,

I am new to this site. I have been reading posts for a while and today decided to join as I am feeling like I need some support.
Myself and my husband have been TTC for 4 years now. I have been put on clomid to increase our chances as my DH has a slightly reduced sperm count. They have told us that if 6 months of clomid doesn't work, IVF will be the next step.
I feel like i'm starting to go mad... everywhere i turn people are pregnant and getting pregnant. i have a lot of friends and family that are expecting. The last time i found out my best friend was pregnant after they had an 'accident' i got home after work and went to bed, i just felt so sad like it will never happen for me!
I think the longer it goes the crazier i get. every little symptom in my 2ww i start googling... I know i need to relax about it but i'm struggling.
Does anyone else get like this?
I imagine there is a lot of us! how do you manage to relax and stay positive?
It can feel like a very lonely process at times.
xxx

[Veinarde]

Hi, I have a similar experience... TTC actively for more than 2 years now, have nothing wrong with me according to tests and scans, picture of health. It's absolutely killing me having unexplained diagnosis - I am going crazy reading through forums trying to find any possible reason I can't conceive. I tried all possible supplements, acupuncture, yoga, meditation you name it. To be fair most of the time I am positive- trying to live one day at a time and not thinking too far, not dramatising, doing yoga and meditation really helps with accepting my body and mind as they are. I am trying to create healthier habits and mental state to maximise my changes for the future. Occasionally I snap - like this month, I was just too upset my AF came, I could barely hold my tears.
I am hopeful but also terrified whether the ivf treatment is going to work for us- we are having a treatment in June in Norway (much cheaper than UK).

[knrthomas]

It's heartbreaking isn't it!! I am mostly positive. But I think the clomid affecting my hormones is just sending me loopy with it. The dr had said that since we are both ok (hubbys sperm just a tad low) he is expecting the clomid to work, and just the fact he has said that and it hasn't worked yet I think got my hopes up and I don't have faith it's going to work.
My AF is due Sunday. And I'm in that awful phase of getting my hopes up, I don't think I will get a BFP and so when AF does come I'm going to be gutted!

[Ozzyboo]

Hi knrthomas! And welcome! So pleased you decided to post.. I remember being in your position just a few weeks ago, reading all these strangers chatting amongst them selves and not daring to post! It's one of the best things I ever did! I felt so alone and like no one would ever understand what I was going through (ttc for 3 years, blocked tube left removed due to ectopic). And although I would never wish any of this on my worst enemy.. it's so comforting to know I am not alone in all of this. And even though we cannot cure your infertility, we can share experiences and listen when you're having a bad day! Who knew unloading your woes on so many strangers would make you feel so much better ☺️ x x

[knrthomas]

Thats so true @Ozzyboo
Thank you for replying. I was having a bit off an off day yesterday and both of your comments cheered me up, so thank you. Its just very nice to know we are not alone.
I wish you both the best of luck with everything... lets hope its not long for us :)

xxxx

[Ozzyboo]

Glad to help 😊 good luck with your journey 🙏🏼 x x

[kimberleyc]

Just wanted to say that I totally understand how you feel we have been ttc for over 2.5years for num 2. I have pcos and am on metformin and am about to start clomid again. I feel like I spend my time being happy for other people yet I feel so sad for our situation. One of my close friends has told me this evening that she is pregnant with number two and I can't stop crying which is silly as I am happy for her but it just makes me so sad. I too try to forget it day to day but really it is always there under the surface. Xxx

[knrthomas]

Hi Kimberleyc
Sorry to hear about your friend. I completely understand. I really hope clomid works for you!!
I think it is a wound that we all have under the surface. And I think it's still kind of a taboo subject. Mostly because a lot of people don't understand it. I wish there was more support and discussion in the main about it. This site has started to make me feel a little less alone this week, so I'm grateful for that.

Fingers crossed we all get our good news soon and how much more of a blessing will it feel to us!

Xxx