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IVF for second baby

(14 Posts)
Hyland Tue 04-Apr-17 11:10:50

Just had a beautiful baby in January from ICSI.

If we would to jump straight in and use the frozen we have to try for our 2nd.

Is the consultant likely to delay things by making us go for test etc.

The reason I ask is because we want to avoid having to pay another years storage end of May.

Especially is we're ready to proceed with a frozen cycle straight away.

I am 38 in May.

The cost of extra test and another years storage is something we wanted to avoid as they told is already that the frozen wasn't the best quality.

We never really got to the bottom of what our problem was conceiving naturally.

bananafish81 Tue 04-Apr-17 15:30:54

No idea but wanted to wish you congratulations, as we were on a cycle buddies thread last year

Many congratulations

Hyland Tue 04-Apr-17 17:36:36

oh thankyou

How is you!?

Tell me everything that has been happening with you.

bananafish81 Tue 04-Apr-17 18:40:01

Sadly we have reached the end of the road with treatment, we can't get my uterus to cooperate so can't do one last transfer cycle. I miscarried another chromosomally normal embryo in Sept and we've been doing treatment every month to try and get me to have periods. Unfortunately we can't get me menstruating which means my uterus isn't up to the job, and so the only way we're going to be able to have a baby is to transfer into someone else's. So unfortunately we will have to pursue surrogacy because I can't sustain a pregnancy.

Hyland Tue 04-Apr-17 19:02:09

Every month wow you deserve a medal. (and a baby obviously)

We all do smile x

It takes a toll on your body. (i know)

I thrilled that you are wishing to go down the surrogacy route.

It is a little scary talking to someone who is still trying .. like i am not worthy to give you support.

I know only to well how any comments i make, may seem patronising or just irritating. And a whole list of others words come to mind .. gloating cow, she just doesnt understand any more, she's forgotton the pain and agony already!

Just thinking of the secret world we women go through saddens me.

After all your researching and testing I would love to hear news that you are expecting your little bundle of joy.

So many people chose to give up, but i am proud of you as a fellow ivf buddy that you have stayed strong for your dream. I am sure you have had your bad days too.

Please dont forget to msg me when you get your brilliant knews.

x

Amara123 Tue 04-Apr-17 20:05:49

Just wanted to say hi to you too Hyland. We were also on a thread together, congrats on the baby!
I'm on my second official fresh cycle (failed fresh and fets) and had two day threes transferred in yesterday. God only knows what'll happen...Into the breach again!
I think you would be allowed to jump right into a fet and it's down to your personal choice when you want to really. Fet cycles are much easier than fresh, although the dreaded gestone is still part of it.

Hyland Tue 04-Apr-17 21:25:49

Hi Amara,

I had failed fresh and failed frozen a then Sucessful fresh cycle.

That would have been my second fresh.

What stage are you at?
and what protocol did they put you on?

Remind me was their a reason why you get day three transfers rather than day 5 blastocyst, is it hiw your clinic works?

Amara123 Tue 04-Apr-17 22:11:14

Hi H!

Just 1 day post 3dt. I had short protocol this time. We did day threes as the two embs were of average quality and there was no real point to progress them to blasts esp given my age and history- it was kind of a better in than out situation. I had a 5 day on my last fresh.. To be honest no idea if it'll work but was happy enough to try something different this time..

Just wondering is it very soon for you to go again? If the fet didn't work would you get back on the merrygoround again? (Would so love to be off of it myself!)

Hyland Tue 04-Apr-17 23:13:29

Yeah i think i must be nuts to consider going again so soon.

It would be lovely to have another baby. However, my partner and me both know how lucky we are to have her.

It is partly to do with the frozen sitting there and not wanting to waste them.

Also doing it straight away would mean not having to pay £350 for another years storage, due end of May, which i think he's against that idea.

If frozen didn't work i think we would just go with the whole .. if it happens naturally then great attitude.

I am not sure my partner would hold IVF as a priority with us having been fortunate already.

We probably spent the best part of £30,000

and it we did a frozen now
I'm looking at
£250 consultation app.
£350 storage only if it runs over the May expiry date
£1,100 for the FET procedure
£300 odd for the drugs

Whether we do it now or in a year i think it will still be hard work.

Having said that i am doing pretty good ! lol i don't feel stressed, baby crying doesn't fill me with anxiety lol put this down to me being patient with children and being surrounded by screaming children when i was younger.

Having said that two children under 2 could be my breaking point.

bananafish81 Tue 04-Apr-17 23:28:19

Thank you hyland

We will have to sell our house to find the £100,000-150,000 we need for surrogacy in the US

And face the heartbreak of having to trust a stranger on the other side of the globe with the most precious thing in the world

And if we do ever manage to have a baby, to then have to petition the high Court to be granted the right to be legal parents to our own genetic child

We have to grieve and come to terms with the end of this chapter and try to gather some emotional reserves before we embark on the hardest and most important process we'll ever go through

Not to mention the financial reserves, on top of the £40,000+ we're already down

I don't know if we will ever have any brilliant news to share, I hope one day we do, but at the moment that seems desperately unlikely

We have 5 genetically perfect embryos on ice that all have the potential to become people, but I can't even menstruate, let alone sustain a pregnancy

I've also had cancer investigations, thankfully I've been discharged from the cancer clinic as it having been 'just' a scare - although tbh the prospect of a hysterectomy for endometrial cancer didn't even phase me as it's no bloody good to me anyway...

DizzyMerry11 Wed 05-Apr-17 00:19:21

Can I just butt in here to say how sorry I am for everything you've been through and continue to go through banana. It's just so shit and unbelievably unfair. I remember you from the 10+ month thread on the conception board and have 'spoken' to you on a thread here. How you've kept on going in the face of it all I don't know your strength is immense and despite it all you're so kind to respond to people's questions on here.

DizzyMerry11 Wed 05-Apr-17 00:23:19

Sorry hyland. Congratulations to you on the birth of your child.

Hyland Thu 06-Apr-17 00:27:11

Wow i feel bad/embarrassed that i naively had no clue that it was that kinda of money.

Seems so incredibly crappy that you have embryos sitting and waiting like you said, but unable to use them just now.

Very cruel turn of events that the one thing many of is moan about 'menstruation' is the thing you need. Many of us take it for granted.

The road of IVF is never easy but bloody hell yours is so complex.

I know how crazy i felt at times, so can only imagine your thought process.

Amara123 Thu 06-Apr-17 16:41:26

Hi again H!

Just to bounce something off you- I think the storage fee is a pain in the ass but it is a pretty big decision to try for another baby so soon? There is a similar age difference between me and a sibling and I think my mother was a nervous wreck!
Could there be a bit of infertility euphoria going on? Like you are just feeling so lucky right now and want to keep going? Or perhaps you want to get it all out of the way- success or not?
Apologies if these ideas are way off mark- it might be worth turning over in your head. I think infertility tends to churn up our emotions in such a major way!

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