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Ivf decisions..

(10 Posts)
Chlo22 Sun 26-Mar-17 13:32:58

Hi,
Wondered any if anyone had any advice or thoughts. We've been trying to conceive since Sep 15, had an early mc first month so thought it would then happen quickly for us but didn't get another positive until jan this year, which then ended at 11 weeks. We're now having all the recurrent mc tests done but we've also been talking about going down the ivf route. We saw the consultant just before we got a positive at start of the year and she said it depends how desperate you are so we agreed to carry on for a while but now we are desperate in the sense it's making us very unhappy and we're struggling with it. Obviously we need results of tests first as if there is something wrong, we'd need to treat that but thinking if we did ivf, any problem could be treated alongside having the fertility help and it would be in a much more controlled environment so less chance for something to go wrong and would help speed up the process. I know a lot of people are of the mindset you have to be patient but at what cost and I don't really want to be a martyr and wait till the point where I'm absolutely miserable and my marriage is suffering. Also, every person I know who has has ivf has had a second child naturally so obviously it would've happened for them I guess if they'd carried on but how long do you carry on for? Sorry for rambling, just wanted some thoughts really or anyone whose been in a similar position. Thanks

blackcherries Sun 26-Mar-17 17:02:14

I'm only going on my own experience but I'm glad we decided to do the tests as early as possible. Then you can see what you're up against and decide re IVF. The timescales can be long so you have ages to get your head around it and get the information you need.

I'm not sure what you mean by ivf vs fertility help - we thought there were other options and that IVF was the be-all-and-end-all for extreme cases (ie not us! Because we have one DC!) but hey, here we are. We have male factor so as far as I know I'm fine but IVF (ICSI) was still the only way forward with decent odds.

I felt a lot more relaxed once we stopped trying naturally. The chances of conceiving naturally are pretty small anyway even when no problems so I felt it was a waste of time when we could be 'doing something' more informed.

IVF is by no means a guaranteed way of conceiving. You will still have nearly every month before then to try naturally as well! My fertility consultant was definitely not 'of the mindset you have to be patient', she wishes people would seek help as early as possible!

Chlo22 Sun 26-Mar-17 18:14:06

Hey black i recognise you from one of the threads we're on smile

Sorry my post was a bit rambling. By fertility help I meant ivf. Obviously from 2 mcs, we do know that we can get pg naturally but how long do we wait for that to happen again? It could happen very quickly but it also might not. We wouldn't now be able to get it funded but we are willing to pay and are in a fortunate position that we are able to. I don't know... do we just carry on indefinitely, getting more and more miserable or try to do something about it if we are able to? I kind of think of it as a helping hand, rather than a last resort, and if our rcm tests do show anything up, I would think that having ivf would only help as would be a more controlled environment and we would only get extra attention/ monitoring. I suppose first step is seeing what the test result show up x

JoJoSM2 Sun 26-Mar-17 23:26:11

How old are you? I think I would discuss the results of tests + factor in my age to decide.

Chlo22 Sun 26-Mar-17 23:38:16

Hi Jojo, I'm 32. Before mmc, consultant said come back in march and we'll refer you for ivf if nothing's changed. Now obviously she can't but we could get pg again soon or could be another 16 months like last time. I guess I'm wondering at what point do you make that decision really.

blackcherries Wed 29-Mar-17 14:00:56

chlo just go for it, I reckon x

Chlo22 Wed 29-Mar-17 14:16:12

Thanks black think that's what we're thinking. Got to do what's right for us and stop worrying about what other people think xx

blackcherries Wed 29-Mar-17 14:38:20

chlo I think I posted on here asking if I was being ridiculous for getting tests after ttc for just 9 months or so. So glad I did though especially as everything takes ages!!

mouldycheesefan Wed 29-Mar-17 14:40:45

Make sure your fertility consultant is one that specialises in women with a miscarriage history.

Chlo22 Wed 29-Mar-17 14:59:53

Totally get you black, you feel like you're being over the top so it's reassuring to get some positive advice.

Yes mouldy she is a specialist. All test results have come back today and all normal so well has to discuss next steps with her.

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