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Feeling rejected by husband

(4 Posts)
Marie17 Mon 13-Mar-17 21:18:12

Hi all, it's my first time to post here so please be patient and let me know if I break any rules.
Me and my husband have been together for little over 4 years, married for 6 months now. We have never used any birth control from the beginning, we agreed that if I happen to get pregnant it'll be a lovely surprise and we both have always wanted to have a family. Unfortunately I suffer PCOS, I have always had very irregular periods and obviously I haven't got pregnant during our relationship. 2 years ago just before we got engaged, we agreed to visit a fertility clinic to have both of us checked and see what options are out there for us. He's tests came back fine, no issues there, I got yet another confirmation to my PCOS diagnosis and we were recommended to go through cycles of Clomid. Meanwhile we got engaged and started to plan our wedding, we both agreed that we'd like to get married first and the give Clomid a go. Few weeks after our honeymoon we went back to clinic for another check up and I got a go ahead to start Clomid. I was full of hope and I just felt like my whole body just yearned for that baby. I took my 5 days of Clomid and started the monitoring which to me was nerve wrecking. It took me long time to get going and finally get one big enough follicle. I was told to go home, have sex every other day (the usual stuff :P). My husband didn't seem to have any of it, he was either tired or had other complaints or reasons not to have sex. I managed to have sex with him only twice within the weeks, first time he couldn't ejaculate and he got very irritated, that was a complete mood killer. 2nd time I think he faked, don't ask why but I'm 99% sure it was fake. After that it's been quiet for 2 weeks, he's still very warm and attentive but any sort of baby making seems to be too much physical effort for him. I brought it up with him last weekend (I had no patience thanks to PMS) and he just said he didn't realise it'll all happen so soon, he seemed to think that the first round of Clomid was just to test my reaction or smthg, no idea where he took it from. I felt confused and disappointed, after spending so much time and money on scans and tests and fertility clinic's visits.

So today I was supposed to do the test. I did it just in case this morning, the result was negative like expected. The whole day I just felt empty and lonely, and to top it all off I started my period today. I left work early and texted my husband to let him know I don't feel well cause of my period. He hasn't mentioned anything, I just lay in bed and cry the whole night. I'm not going back to the clinic to spend more money if he's going to act like this. Any recommendations?

NoLotteryWinYet Mon 13-Mar-17 21:25:39

It doesn't sound like an infertility issue as much as a relationship is you've got - I got pg on the first cycle of cookie and it's beyond strange that he wouldn't dtd as much as needed in the right window. You need to sit him down, make it clear that's not acceptable and find out what is going on imo. There's no point you taking it if he is not on board and you need to know that - sorry for you.

NoLotteryWinYet Mon 13-Mar-17 21:26:14

Cookie should say clomid!

IsItIorAreTheOthersCrazy Wed 15-Mar-17 16:08:24

OP, you need a good honest heart to heart with him.

I have been through 6 (unsuccessful) cycles of Clomid and the only way me and DH have survived them is by talking.
My experience was that the hormones in the Clomid were overwhelming, I was so angry / upset that I was fixated on having a baby, whereas DH saw how it effected me and was so worried about me it made dtd hard iyswim?
So we talked, and talked. And talked more. I made a joke about needing 'a service,' we both did things we wouldn't normally do (like one set an alarm to wake up and then wake the other for sex to make sure we did it at the right time) etc. It was awkward but we're a team, and that's what it takes flowers

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