Another negative test

[ComeTheFuck0nBridget]

I took a pregnancy test today and it was negative. I knew it would be but my heart never believes my head. I've no idea how many cycles this has been for us as my periods are all over the place but it's been over five years.

Currently laying in bed in the dark on my own. Flipping from anger to feeling sorry for myself to crying.

Not even sure why I'm posting tbh, I think I just need to let it out somewhere. I try to keep DH out of it as much as I can.

[Hopeful16]

I know this feeling really well - it's heartbreaking. Have you explored your infertility further? Have you been to the doctors and asked for tests? I think you should.

[ComeTheFuck0nBridget]

Yes we have. I may or may not have PCOS - only symptom is irregular periods, had two scans and one showed cysts and the other didn't. Started on Metformin this month and have another appointment in April, hopefully will try Clomid then. DH refusing to have semen analysis though but thinks the medication he is on will lower his fertility ☹️

Are you TTC too or do you have DC? (If you feel like sharing)

[ButterflyFree]

OP have you had your thyroid checked? Might seem a random question, but it can definitely be a cause of infertility if your TSH and thyroid antibodies aren't within normal range, and many doctors and fertility clinics completely overlook this as a factor and neglect to do the blood test for it.

[Hopeful16]

I have just had a baby through ICSI.

I absolutely understand the pain of "knicker watch" waiting to see if your period arrives and symptom spotting if it's as little as half a day late.

[ComeTheFuck0nBridget]

Aww congrats hopeful! So pleased you got your baby

I'm not sure butterfly to be honest, I think I have but may be wrong and it came back normal. Made a note of it to ask when I go back to my next appointment, thanks

[ComeTheFuck0nBridget]

And yes, I'm terrible at knicker watching. Convinced everything is a sign, every twinge is ovulation/implantation etc.

To be honest, its started putting me off having sex with DH. Because I know that I won't be pregnant, but that I'll also have convinced myself, even if we only dtd once in the month at the wrong time, that I just might be pregnant, then I just find myself back where I am right now. The emotional highs and lows of hope and disappointment have just become so hard to take.

[JCleRoux]

Didn't want to read and run. No advise really but that at least you are being seen by doctors. Five years feels like a long time to wait to be referred for investigation though. I hope they give you some answers and solutions

[Hopeful16]

We tried it all: dtd every day, every other day, only when my app said I was fertile. We went from a couple who bonked for pleasure lots to a calendar couple or a dtd because we "needed" to instead of wanting to couple.

I remember one day when I was a day late and then my period arriving screaming at DH that he didn't care/ understand/ want it like I did and just getting in the car and driving- convinced I'd never come back. Of course I did- I drove to a nearby beauty spot and cried my eyes out and went home all red and blotchy and feeling a little foolish (but probably also a bit better).

IVF is no easier because at the time when you often crave that intimacy most you can't because it might effect your treatment or your mood is all over and you hate everything and everyone.

Have your docs said they will refer you further? I can't imagine getting your rocks off is easy for blokes in a hospital room/ booth but in the grand treatment/ test scheme they defo get it easy so have a good talk about what kids and having a family really means to you.

[bananafish81]

Have you had a tubal patency test?

Very often many clinics won't prescribe clomid until you've had your tubes checked and your partner has had a semen analysis, as there's no point doing treatment for ovulation induction if it's the wrong treatment.

[ComeTheFuck0nBridget]

Thanks for all the replies, it really has made me feel a bit better.

It's been such a long time because of us really, we got so far in the process and then I lost my Dad, very suddenly and tragically which just completely threw me off and we had to start all over again. I've gained weight then lost it and we've had some major upheaval with work etc which meant TTC got kind of put to a back burner, as well as DHs reluctance to make it too sterile of a process. He's convinced we'll conceive naturally eventually. If only. Don't get me wrong he is supportive mosty, I just think he finds it hard dealing with all this.

I haven't had a tube test yet, it has been brought up but I'm terrified of it and my doctor is lovely and has said that because my periods are so unpredictable and all over the place and I've had day 21 blood tests to confirm I'm not ovulating, we could probably do two months of clomid first and then do the test after.

[Hopeful16]

I'm sorry to hear about your Dad

I think you need to have a realistic talk with your DP because if nothing else you need to rule out any issues with his side of the deal.

Best of luck.

[toffeepuddin]

If it's been 5 years then you need to further invesitgations on both. Nothing will happen if you don't be pro-active about it. Your dh thinks youl fall pregnant naturally? 5 years is a long time and the longer you leave it the less chance you have

[bananafish81]

There's little point doing medication to get you ovulating if you have blocked tubes or male factor. If you've not fallen pregnant in 5 years of trying, you really need a thorough work up. If there's no obvious other issues then it's reasonable to try ovulation induction and see if ovarian stimulation does the trick. But there's no point taking fertility drugs without finding out if they're likely to do any good first.

[Isthismummy]

Agree with others op. There is no point unless you both have a through work up.

Five years is such a long time. There is clearly an issue somewhere and that issue could just as easily be with DH as with you.

Cards on the table time for DH. He needs to be told that you will both be having all the required checks. Why is he so reluctant? All he has to do is get intimate with a cup for five ministers. It's nothing compared to the endless prodding and poking that us women have to endure.

I actually get really angry when I read posts like yours because men who behave like your DH are being really selfish. Ttc is a joint business, so therefore facing the issue of infertility is also a joint business.

Good luck and I hope he sees the light soon. Five years is far too long for you to have suffered like this and your DH needs to do his bit to alleviate that suffering as much as possible.