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Telling at 3 months.

(5 Posts)
Screamifuwant2gofaster Fri 17-Feb-17 03:40:00

My partner and I are currently going through ivf. We will be doing a pregnancy test in about 3 weeks time. The problem is our lovely family and friends. Close family (parents/ in laws and cousin) and a few friends have given us lots of support over the last few months. In normal circumstances (I.e if ivf hadn't been needed) we wouldn't want to tell anyone until 3 months. I have had early miscarriages in the past. They are gonna know when it's about time for pregnancy test (we haven't told them but know they have done their own reading and we have two family friends who are medics).

Wibu to lie and say our embryo has had to be frozen they are going to use it in a few months instead? Thought might take the pressure off. I feel a bit uncomfortable by how closely people are following our 'journey'. I know they are just being supportI've. Is there any other way I can put people off a bit? We just want this last bit to be a bit private. Aibu?

TheLegendOfBeans Fri 17-Feb-17 04:35:14


Be truthful with those who are very closest to you though but tell them your plans for what you'll say to the others.

Just don't go into too much detail with the fibs.


ellaki Fri 17-Feb-17 05:49:03

IVF can be so stressful, just do whatever you need to do to keep calm and relaxed. Creating a positive atmosphere for yourself and your partner Is important in every stage of it IME. Everybody will understand when you explain it to them later when you announce happy news!

MelbourneClown03 Fri 17-Feb-17 06:12:31

Just wanted to say that we're in a similar position. You rely on your nearest and dearest during the IVF journey for emotional support, so it feels unfair to close 'the group project' down so to speak grin

DP and I have decided to tell parents what's going on. The others as you say have done their own reading about time scales and the protocol but we hope they'll be sensitive enough to let us move things along at a pace we're comfortable with.

Annab1983 Fri 17-Feb-17 09:22:57

I have had losses also (so sorry that you have too) and I have never regretted telling those closest to me early, if it sadly ends then you have support.. I found it soul destroying to only let people know about my much wanted babys existence after it had gone.. but it is entirely a matter for yourself no one should mind if you tell a few fibs either! I am starting IvF and will be due to test (hopefully) in April I am thinking of saying the OtD is a few days later than it actually is so we can get used to the result ourselves a little bit, either way.. best of luck! x

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