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About to start IVF, feeling low 🙁

(11 Posts)
Annab1983 Thu 16-Feb-17 11:00:07

This is a bit self indulgent but need to vent a little.. I am feeling really low about starting IVF next month after TTC for more years than I would like to count, feeling really yucky and fat (managed to put the stone I lost with Ivf in mind back on) so am about a stone overweight now.. I am a size 16 which isn't the worst of course but am just disappointed with myself! I am trying to eat well now but have heard people can put on weight too with all the hormones so could potentially end up even more fat and miserable and no baby at the end of it. And blaming myself for that. Added to this several pregnancy announcements and friends TTC at present (so anticipating more announcements) I am just feeling sorry for myself and can't seem to buck up! I am genuinely happy for other people (I really mean this I wouldn't wish fertility issues on anyone) when I hear they are expecting but so upset that I can't get pregnant myself and have to go through weeks of hormones and invasive procedures to (only maybe) achieve a pregnancy.. and can't just try again the next cycle if it fails.. everyone is so excited for me as this has been a long time coming but it's like why can't i just be normal (issues are all mine) and there's a lot of pressure as this may be the only shot at IVF..
I suppose I am looking to see if anyone feels or felt similar as I don't know anyone who is going through this.. or any ideas on how to feel more positive! Thanks x

Annab1983 Thu 16-Feb-17 11:12:11

I should add I know I am so lucky I have lovely family, friends and an amazing 6 year old who have all kept me going through the years of investigations and disappointment, it's just now it's so close am so scared and emotional!

isthismummy Thu 16-Feb-17 11:54:32

I'm right there with you OP. I'm due to start IVF next month too and just feel so sad about it all.

Yes people will tell you to stay positive, but it is SO hard. You're putting your body through so much and the odds are already stacked against you.

I found an app last week called mindful IVF which I have found helps a bit. I listen to it before bed and it definitely calms me down.

Don't be too hard on yourself regarding your weight. It's so hard to stay on track when you have so many negative emotions and feelings regarding your bodysad

Are you taking supplements? Drinking lots of water? Just small things like that have helped me feel a tiny bit better.

Hang on in there. You are definitely not alone in your feelingsflowers

Annab1983 Thu 16-Feb-17 14:52:01

Thank you isthismummy I will give that app a try 🙂 I have been taking pregnacare conception vitamins faithfully since we started in 2012, drinking lots of water, less caffeine also, is there anything else you guys would recommend? Best of luck to you too! x

isthismummy Thu 16-Feb-17 16:34:14

It depends on what your issue is really OP.

I have horribly low amh so I'm on a cocktail of vitamins/supplements to try and help with that.

Cutting down the caffeine is definitely good, as is drinking lots of watersmile I eat more fruit/veggies than I ever did and far less chocolate (trying to keep blood sugar stable)

Barely drink now either. That's the one thing I REALLY misssad

There's lots of good conception books about. I can really recommend "it starts with the egg" Although the advice to stop touching plastic probably isn't realistic.

isthismummy Thu 16-Feb-17 16:43:41

Although obviously conception books are a bit pointless when you're at ivf stage like us. Iswte is a good book regarding low amh/ egg quality though.

Annab1983 Thu 16-Feb-17 17:49:00

None of the doctors have said anything to me bar taking folic acid, my blood tests re: eggs weren't great though I can't recall the exact numbers right now.. they said I might not get many eggs though and am on high dosages.. my main issue was Tubes destroyed with endometriosis and adenomyosis.. so quite a lot wrong really! 😕 I have had pregnancies before, sadly though only one made it.. and that was 6 years ago so its all a bit disheartening really!

isthismummy Thu 16-Feb-17 17:59:51

Doctors don't tell you these things sadly☹️ My upcoming cycle is NHS and I've not been told to take anything apart from folic acid and prenatal. I'd be utterly clueless if it wasn't for my own obsessive researching.

Not sure if you're private/NHS or how many cycles you're planning, but I would strongly recommend you get your hands on a copy of it starts with the egg.

I'm on dhea, ubiquinol and a number of other vitamins recommended in there. They can't improve egg numbers but there's evidence they can improve quality. It's the quality that really countssmile

So sorry to hear about your tube issues. At least these won't be an issue once ivf is underway though.

I really do wish you all the best.

Annab1983 Thu 16-Feb-17 21:05:01

Thank you, here's hoping for all of us! x

glasshalfsomething Thu 16-Feb-17 21:10:38

annab1983 good luck! When I saw your post I couldn't move on without posting!

I went through my first IVF process in October (now 19 weeks pregnant) and it is hard. It can be exhausting, emotional, tough and shitty. But, it's a short term pain that can lead to great things - and that's what you need to focus on. Get your work/life balance right, make time for yourself (and your emotions), and make sure you've got a support network around you.

Focus on the end game! I hope it all works well for you!

Annab1983 Fri 17-Feb-17 09:04:34

Thank you glasshalfsomething, and congratulations I love hearing success stories!! x

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