That is indeed a lovely sentiment Flip but tbh a little inappropriate given the entire raison d'être of this thread
We are all absolutely terrified that we will never become mothers. That we will never be able to tell a child how deeply wanted they were and are.
Other routes to parenthood aren't so simple. Not every couple is aligned about moving to donor conception. If one partner isn't comfortable with moving to DE or DS, what do you do? DE in the UK is very expensive - what if after multiple rounds of treatment you don't have the funds for DE? Abroad is cheaper - but you can't get donor ID release. To do a donor cycle overseas you have to be OK with the fact that your donor is completely anonymous and your child won't ever be able to trace their genetic origins. Many couples prefer anonymous donation. Many don't.
In my case take surrogacy. If I just can’t sustain a pregnancy, and our only chance of having a baby is to use a gestational carrier, do we pursue UK surrogacy, where the legal framework simply isn't in place to protect either surro or IP (and the cost is around £15,000)? Do we pursue surrogacy in Georgia or Ukraine, which is ethically dubious (women forced into becoming surrogates in order to feed their families), you don't get to choose or in many cases even meet the woman who will be carrying your child for 9 months, you're looking at £30-40,000 and you have to live in the country for up to 3 months while you wait for a British passport to bring the baby back to the UK? Do we pursue US surrogacy, where surrogacy arrangements are legally enforceable and you have much more control over the relationship with the surrogate (who undergoes strict vetting and has ongoing support from the surrogacy agency), and in a surrogacy friendly state your name goes on the birth certificate? But you're looking at £100-150,000.
Not every couple feels emotionally prepared for adoption - DH and I don't feel we are equipped to voluntarily take on a child with complex developmental needs and/ or attachment disorder, nor strong enough for the teenage years when many adoptions break down.
It's rather glib to say that we will one day all be mothers. Because as much as I would like to believe that's true, sadly that’s not always the case.
BiggerBoat I know what you mean about having a thread for those of us with multiple failures - I don’t feel I fit in on most of the other threads - I just feel very jaded about it all.
I’m getting my IUD out in a week or so when I get my period, and the plan is to do a mock FET, i.e. a dummy run so we can check the dose of meds to see how my lining responds, and do the ERA biopsy. So maybe best case have a crack at the real thing in a month or so?
FUCK.
In terms of level 1 and 2s, it’s possible to do the level 2s for significantly cheaper if you do them via Locus Medicus in Greece (although you still need a Dr to prescribe pred / intralipids / clexane etc if the tests throw anything up). If you google ‘level 2 immunes locus medicus bananafish’ (haha) there’s a thread I posted on FF about how to do the tests with them, in case that’s helpful x