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Feel like Giving up !! Anyone in same boat

(28 Posts)
jcheshire94 Tue 17-Jan-17 12:21:15

Hi i have been trying for 5 years now and I feel like giving up. I've tried menopur and Clomid. I have follicles on menopur but they couldn't be controlled. Now got to wait for another 9months until I can have ivf.
Is there anyone in same boat and just feel very depressed or that it's an emotional strain.
Feel free to share stories , would be nice to know if anyone is in the same situation smile

isthismummy Thu 19-Jan-17 16:27:30

Probably everyone on this thread unfortunately OP😞

Infertility is without doubt the worst thing I have ever gone through. It plays with your emotions so cruelly. Some weeks I am optimistic and full of hope and in others I'm convinced I will die childless.

You definitely aren't aloneflowers

TinySalmon Fri 20-Jan-17 13:30:47

All the fucking time!

You are not aloneflowers

Like isthismummy said, infertility is the worst thing my partner and I have been through. I'm not on social media anymore because everyone's trivial stories just seem so... trivial. I don't sweat the small stuff these days.

My story:
2 years TTC
"Unexplained infertility"
First round IVF successful - lost my son at 20 weeks
FET unsuccessful
Throwing more money at a fresh cycle which isn't going so well as my body isn't responding as well as it was last time

I feel like giving up every day. But I can't, I just can't. I couldn't live with myself if I gave up.

jcheshire94 Sat 21-Jan-17 09:04:24

Thanks for the response it's nice knowing ur not alone. And I thought about not being on social media as it breaks u down even more. My partner don't express his emotions about it much but I can see it's hurting him.

bananafish81 Sun 22-Jan-17 03:09:45

Definitely not alone

Last 15 months I've had

4 IVF cycles, 3 cancelled IVF cycles, 3 HRT cycles, 4 ovulation induction cycles, 2 pregnancies, 2 miscarriages, 1 ERPC and 2 hysteroscopies

I'm so worn down by it all. I don't remember who I used to be, but I feel totally changed as a person. I'm mostly a hermit now as I have nothing to talk about as the only thing that's going on in our lives is being professional infertiles.

It's just really really shit!

bummymummy77 Sun 22-Jan-17 03:52:09

I've got two more cycles of clomid to go then that's it. We're in the states so can't afford to find out what's wrong and I'm almost 40 so time is against me. Ttc for 3 years now and I'm at the end of my tether.

ekam Sun 22-Jan-17 10:01:51

Have you ladies tried an ovulation detection thingy? I'm using one and it's brilliant. Our infertility is unexplained so I do ovulate every month, so it's not really useful for me in terms of getting pregnant but it does help me see my cycle clearly. But other ladies who has psco that are using it reported wonderful things.

TinySalmon Sun 22-Jan-17 10:15:48

I'm not being funny ekam but in the years, years, we've been trying to conceive you don't think we wouldn't have tried ovulation predictor kits? That I wouldn't have exhausted every possible avenue of conception before forking out so far over £15,000 in IVF + associated costs?

bananafish81 Sun 22-Jan-17 10:16:13

ekam seriously? Are you being serious?

This is the infertility board, not the conception board

We're doing infertility treatment, everyone on this board by definition has kept clearblue afloat by pissing on ovulation sticks - great that they helped you, but we wouldn't be here if they'd helped us

Oh and by the way advocating for their use for PCOS is bullshit given that for many women with PCOS, ovulation sticks are completely useless, as high circulating levels of LH mean they can give false positives all the time

Maybe think before you type, yeah?

bananafish81 Sun 22-Jan-17 10:17:57

If only I'd have thought!! Why did I spend £30,000 on IVF, have 3 surgeries, thousands and thousands on medication to help me ovulate, when I could have just been pissing on sticks!! Thank god for the wisdom of the contributions of this board. How would I have known that understanding my cycle was all I needed to be doing!!

Abbielove Sun 22-Jan-17 12:25:11

Me, I understand.
I'm about to start my 4th IVF cycle, I'm poor responder- 3 eggs last time (only 1 fertilized) , only 1 egg retrieved time before. 17years TTC.

Now we find out I have immune issues so I'm about to start another round on immune drugs and to be honest - at the moment - I don't know why I'm fucking bothering.
I know what the outcome will be but a part of me thinks I'll cope better knowing I've given it a final attempt. God knows I won't cope well at all

jcheshire94 Sun 22-Jan-17 13:20:38

Bananafish81 thanks for sharing, I feel like I moaned too much compared to what you have been through. And I didn't know that about the ovulation sticks and having pocs, I already stopped using them as it just never worked.
Abbielove one question does the immune system affect the fertility process then or is that just something your going though.

Blondeshavemorefun Sun 22-Jan-17 13:36:59

Yes. We often felt like giving up

Ttc 10yrs. Did 4 private ivf tho 4th was a fet from fresh cycle 3 and all failed

It totally destroys you and have always said ivf is a rolkarcoster which plays havoc with you mentally emotionally physically (gained so much weight) and of course financially

Had 2 era which is a mock cycle to see how body responds to drugs and lining /implantation and showed my body needed extra day or so

The 5th /2nd fet I stayed on progynova for a eeek longer due to holiday and fet worked. Currently 30w Preg

All I can say it that df and I kept going. Helped having frozen ones from 3rd cycle and we always said if that failed -would have been 8 tries in all and 11 embryos transferred then we would have looked st donor eggs for one last try

Only you and partner can decide when enough is enough. We had a break for a year while licked our wounds after 1&2 failed and saved madly

Banana (waves) has amazing knowledge and has been thro everything sad 💐 And I hope that she and mr banana get their dream

Abbielove Sun 22-Jan-17 14:35:06

Op the immune testing is something you pay for if you have either multiple failed IVF attempts or recurrent miscarriages.
I've never even had a positive pregnancy test in all the 17 years I've been trying so we knew there was something not right.
It cost £2.5k to get done and it came back with high NK cells, auto body issues and clotting issues. So im on more drugs in the cycle to keep these things under control.

ekam Sun 22-Jan-17 19:53:31

Guys, I'm sorry if I come across insensitive. I'm on the same boat myself and like I said, it did not help me. I've had failed IVF and I'm still spending more money on trying to get pregnant. It wasn't a prediction kit, it's a tech device and I do not wish to advertise for any product so I'm not disclosing anything. I was just trying to help as I saw others who are on clomid and are also infertile reported good things.

I understand it's a struggle for all of us, me included. But I do not think there's any need to be rude to each other with all the swearing.

Like I said, was just trying to help and I'm sorry again it wasn't clear and I came across insensive. You have a good day!

jcheshire94 Sun 22-Jan-17 20:44:13

Well congrats bondeshavemorefun

I get what u mean now, well I haven't had even one ivf yet compared to all you lot. I'm still all new to it all.
I can't believe what some of you have been through.

Blondeshavemorefun Sun 22-Jan-17 20:54:37

Why do you need to wait 9mths for ivf op?

Noora Sun 22-Jan-17 22:28:48

You are not alone hun! I also had hard times when sadness come to your life and everything you want to do is to stop. I had 3 MCs on early terms. I was broken. I felt like everything was in vain. I thought that I was cursed and I don't deserve to become a mother. I can't hold back my tears when I remember that horrible period of my life. I was stressed and depressed. I wanted to give up and not once. Thanks to my husband and his support we went through this. We decided to turn to surrogacy. Actually our doctor recommended us to do so. Now we are waiting for our baby to be born. I know you want to have a baby now. You don't want to wait and go through all this shit. We've been waiting for this moment for 8 years. I wish you to be strong and patient! And of course I wish you to have successful ivf. Don't you ever give up!

Graceflorrick Sun 22-Jan-17 22:37:43

Secondary infertility here and we've given up. late miscarriages, charting, IVF, tears and frustration. We couldn't do it anymore, I'm just not strong enough to keep going.

Good luck to you all. I so very much hope you have the strength to keep going. flowers

MissSmiley Sun 22-Jan-17 22:52:09

Don't give up.
My story didn't go the way I thought it would.
3 x IUI failed
IVF 1 failed
IVF 2 mc
IVF 3 failed
FET 1failed very nearly gave up
FET 2 defrosted 13 embryos put 3 back 1 took first baby born after 5 years ttc
IVF 4 failed
Immune testing found high nk cells and other stuff
FET 3 with steroids resulted in baby no 2
FET 4 Had to make big decisions about 2 frozen embryos in the end decided to put them back in natural cycle but it failed
IVF 5 last attempt after which we would give up and not think about a third child resulted in twins
Then after 12 years of ttc and 9 cycles we conceived naturally!
All of our unexplained infertility and mc were down to immune problems which we have since found out were caused by my undiagnosed coeliac disease. Only diagnosed after I became ill with two other horrid auto immune conditions but all good now. I wouldn't wish infertility on my worst ememy, it's harrowing.

jcheshire94 Sun 22-Jan-17 23:13:51

I have to wait that long due to nhs waiting list. Tbh I can't afford to pay private. Already paid for tests before.

Thankyou all for sharing.
I wish hope for everyone.

Blondeshavemorefun Sun 22-Jan-17 23:31:29

Oic. It's tough sad lists vary in diff areas and years

7yrs ago when was with dh and could do NHS. Wait was about 12/15mths. Sucked sad sadly dh died a week or two before we reached the top. Was a double blow

Met df and had kids so had to save for private

Friend locally this year went on same list and clinic and she waited think 3mths. Totally diff timescale from mine years ago

Make sure that they know you are happy for any cancellations /get bumped up the list

Good luck

jcheshire94 Sun 22-Jan-17 23:44:26


That's a long time to wait tbh. I'm hoping not too long but same time it might help me get myself back on track until it happens.
But 3months sound fair to me smile got the consultation next week so I'm sure I will get the full confirmation smile

TinySalmon Mon 23-Jan-17 09:37:40

When I made enquiries about NHS treatment (we are not eligible, DP has child from previous relationship), they told me even if I was eligible the waiting list was around 18-20 months long 😧 This is central/SW London.

Blondeshavemorefun Mon 23-Jan-17 10:33:49

So unfair when lose NHS go as partner has children. It's us (me) with the problem so we should still get it

One warning with blood tests. If end up being over a years wait you will need to do blood tests again as results may be different t

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