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When will it be me....

(9 Posts)
Hope24 Sun 25-Dec-16 18:30:52

So I just found out that that two of cousins are pregnant.

I am trying so hard to put on a strong front, but honestly I just feel like crying.

I feel like an awful person to feel like this, I really want to be happy for them. My husband and I have been trying for almost 20 months and not a whiff of a bfp.

I'm starting to feel like a failure, I can't do something that should come naturally. I've let my husband down, his family and my family down. I've lost all motivation as everything I do and think revolves around having a baby. I feel like all of our plans are on hold because of this.

This road feels long and difficult and the end is no where in sight 😢

Noora Sun 25-Dec-16 19:34:28

I have literally same feelings now. Everyone around is getting pregnant and I feel so sad. No, I'm really happy for my friends! I just can't understand why I can't get pregnant. We were ttc for 8 years. The result was 3 miscarriages. That was really hard times for our family. And my friends are getting pregnant so easily!!! And some of them ask "kids are such a blessing! what are you waiting for? don't you want to have children?" I wanna scream after such questions! I wanna literally punch them in their faces! I will never ever ask any woman such things.

We are currently in surrogacy program. So I really hope things will become better soon. I wish you to become mom asap and finally become the happiest woman in the world!

Whereland Sun 25-Dec-16 19:51:58

I hear you hope, it is so hard. I'm in the same boat as you. I do wallow in self pity sometimes, I think it's unavoidable. But I do try to catch myself and tell myself and remind myself that other people being pregnant has absolutely no bearing on when I will or won't get pregnant. It still hurts like hell though.

Graceflorrick Sun 25-Dec-16 20:02:35

I've had fertility issues ttc a second DC and we've recently made the difficult decision to stop ttc. The acceptance of the situation has helped me move on.

Good luck to you ttc. I hope 2017 is your year flowers

Hope24 Mon 26-Dec-16 10:00:15

Thank you guys for your replies.

It's reassuring to know that I'm not the only one feeling like this but at the same time I feel so sad that so many of us have to go through the hell of infertility.

I think the news of the other pregnancies has sunk in a bit. I've had a good old cry with DH who is nothing but supportive. He truly is a big blessing in my life 😊

I really hope 2017 will bring joy for all of us!flowers

isthismummy Mon 26-Dec-16 10:29:13

So many of us seem to be in the same boat Hope. It is so very cruel and unfair.

Hoping all our luck changes for the better next yearsmile

ellesbellesxxx Mon 26-Dec-16 10:32:47

I felt exactly the same last Christmas and it's awful sad
I would definitely go see a GP for a referral (if you haven't already?) just making that step gave me back control.
As it was, turned out I had twisty tubes and low egg reserve so never would have conceived naturally and IVF only option.
Really hope it happens for you ladies in 2017 xxx

ellesbellesxxx Mon 26-Dec-16 10:54:58

Ps I totally know what you mean about feeling like a failure.. but you are not. Sometimes we just need a little help x

Hope24 Mon 26-Dec-16 10:56:01

Ellesbelles and isthismummy- thank you for your reply 😊

I am being investigated for possible endometriosis, but the long waiting times of the NHS is killing me!

My husbands brother just got married a few months ago so I'm expecting news from the any time soon. It also doesn't help that I come from a culture where having kids soon after marriage is a given. Although my mother in law doesn't say anything to me, I know she talks to her sisters about us. I feel so guilty whenever I see them as of I'm a total failure in their eyes. I don't know, maybe I'm just making assumptions here. Ltttc does crazy things to your mind! 😒

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