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one year, 3 transfers, 3 failed pregnancies - give up?

(5 Posts)
BiggerBoatNeeded Mon 19-Dec-16 14:29:30

So I found out a couple of weeks that I'm pregnant after a FET - hurrah. Except not hurrah as my HCG levels are too low and the just scan shows an empty sac, the doctors are all sure I will miscarry and it's just a case of when. This follows two fresh cycles which both resulted in chemical pregnancies.

I just feel doomed and like we should give up. I really can't believe it has come to this. Has anyone got any hopeful stories about having multiple failures/losses but then managing to have a baby at the end of it all? At the moment actually having a baby after a positive pregnancy test seems like the stuff of fantasy.

Blueroses99 Mon 19-Dec-16 15:57:03

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss flowers Give yourself lots of time and space before making any decisions. Sadly I am not a positive story myself (yet - but I have hope) but they are out there. The Pregnancy After Infertility thread now has had its third baby in as many weeks, so there really are some happy endings, or beginnings I suppose. I believe there are lots of success stories that started off over here on the infertility threads as I've seen lots of them pop back.

A year isn't long in the grand scheme of things. If you feel that you've had enough and it's the right thing for you to stop, then do it, but if you want to try again, build yourself up and go for it, only once you're ready.

BiggerBoatNeeded Mon 19-Dec-16 16:36:12

Thanks Blue - actually it's probably a bit insensitive asking for success stories on this board (brain not engaged today). I lurk on lots of threads and know you've had a really tough time of it, so I really appreciate you replying. You're right a year isn't that long, I think I've just freaked myself out with the (nonsensical) maths that if each time has about a 30% chance of working it should have worked by now or we're doomed. Perhaps I'll have a bit more fight in me after Christmas.

Blueroses99 Mon 19-Dec-16 17:28:51

Not insensitive at all - sometimes it's heard to hear success stories especially from people that don't understand, but equally it can be positive if it can offer hope, and if it's going to make you feel better then of course you can ask.

I thought the 30% referred to a fresh cycle including associated FETs as one cycle? I presume you've had one fresh + 2 FET? I don't think FETs can be counted in the same way as it's using the same batch of eggs and sperm. If you have another fresh cycle, they will learn from the first cycle and adjust e.g. drugs, doses etc for an improved outcome. Absolutely not knocking FETs as I know they do work. But I don't think they are counted when they say it usually takes 3 cycles to work. I think that's how it was explained to me anyway.

Hopefully someone will come along with a lovely success story soon...

Patienceisvirtuous Mon 19-Dec-16 17:37:45

Don't give up yet OP if you're still able to carry on.

I'm sorry for your tough times and losses.

I've had three miscarriages over three years. Pregnant again and nearly half way there now after a protocol of tinzaparin, aspirin and progesterone.

It takes nerves of steel to keep on.

Hugs x

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