IVF -

[kaykel157]

Oh my gosh..... I'm so nervous!!

Me and my partner have been chasing the dream of having children for the last 4 years. Finally, after many investigations and 3 stone weight loss, we have been granted funding on the NHS. We are a same sex couple but as I have fertility issues, we have been granted 1 attempt at IVF. I am 32 years old, my partner is 45 years old

Please bear with me, I have very little understanding of abbreviations in this area.

We were referred to Nurture Nottingham in September this year.

After my first TV scan, I was found to only have 4 follicles one side..... and I think 3 the other. However a blood test was also taken which suggested maybe I had a few more follicles that were hiding during the scan.

So I've been on DHEA 75mg and CQ10 200mg to increase my egg quality and pregnancare before conception as advised by the consultant since September. My hair has thinned since taking the DHEA and I've had a number of spots, but that has settled down now.

I had an endo-scratch that we self funded on the 11/11/16. That was painful. I took 1g paracetamol and 60mg codeine prior, which I'm sure helped. I went alone, the pain was awful during the procedure, felt like really bad period pain. It did go after about 5 minutes but I was left feeling sick for the next 3 hours. I didn't have any breakfast before and personally would advise anyone to do so before this. I'd also advise to take someone with you. For your nerves if nothing else.

I've been on the Suprecur 0.5ml S/C injections since 13/11/16. The injections are fine, sting a bit and I get some irritation to the skin surrounding the area for approx 10 minutes after the injection. I had many side effects from this, including flushes, irritability, anxiety and maybe a bit of depression, however I'm not sure if some of this was down to the journey too.

I had my first scan on the 24/11/16 where I was told that my body had down regulated but the lining of my womb was too thick, and to come back to be rescanned on the 30/11/16. If my lining remained thickened, this cycle would be cancelled and I would have to restart on day 1 of my next cycle.

On the 30/11/16, I was told my lining had reduced and to start Gonal-F 450 units the next day.

So here I am, this will be my 5th day of Gonal-F. I have had very little side effects so far. The injection doesn't sting as much as the other. (I still have to continue with the Suprecur to stop my body from ovulating until they wish for this to happen) I feel so much better in myself. I don't know if its down to this or not. My flushes have reduced, my mood is brighter.

My next scan is on 9/12/16. I am worried. I don't know anyone who has been on this journey, so I have no-one to talk to about it. The nurses at my clinic are fab but when I'm not there I feel so alone.

My partner is brilliant, she's listen to me, has put up with my ridiculous mood swings at beginning. I have to remember that she is on this journey too, of course I know that but I have to remember that she is feeling as nervous and anxious as I do. I might be the one being prodded and poked but it's emotionally challenging for us both.

I read lots on the internet and IVF back in September, but felt bombarded with blogs from failed attempts or people feeling the same as me, at the time I did not feel that this would support me, so pulled away from this.

I am currently off work, I needed to time out. I am a prison nurse, have been for the last 9 years and whilst I love my job, it's very very challenging at times. Don't get me wrong, some days are fine. Other days I actually don't know which way to run first. I can be called to any medical assistances ranging from cat fights to serious emergency life treating conditions. It's a job where I have to keep my cool and challenging aggressive and abusive behaviour, not ideal when I want to scream and shout back. My doctor had no problems signing me off sick. My work place are being good to me, I have very little time off sick and they are currently supporting me.

So at present, I am throwing myself into Christmas. We're also getting married next December, so I'm planning our wedding too.

So I guess the last thing to think about is why have I sat and wrote this? Well I don't know.... I'm just not sure what I hope to achieve from this. I guess I want someone to pop up and say, 'Hey Kelly, I had IVF, and it worked for us.' I just need that little bit of hope. I'm reading so many stories where IVF has failed, or it was successful only to result in a miscarriage.

We only have 1 go, we have funding up until the point of egg collection. I feel like there's so much pressure. I also can't even begin to imagine what that 2WW feels like!!!

I'm also hoping to help anyone who feels similar to me. I have gone into detail about my treatment as people may be reading this who aren't at that stage yet and maybe want some guidance. If so, I can honestly say, that up until now, the actual IVF process for me, has been ok. I thought it would be much harder up until now, but I feel that is all about to change ???

[beebeautiful]

Hey Kelly!
I know lots of ladies that have got a successful first IVF attempt so there is every chance it will work for you too.

I've been ttc for 18 years, had 3 failed IVF cycles and about to start my 4th and last IVF cycle in January on immune support.

Wishing you all the very best of luck!!