Keeping positive is disappearing fast.....

(11 Posts)
Wifey1990 Sun 27-Nov-16 21:02:10

Hi ladies,

How an earth are you all coping with this shit situation I'm failing at hard. Month after month after month after month......

I'm 26 married for 8 months but been with OH for 6 and half years. I have blocked tubes I had surgery in July 16 to unblock then recently at my post op I didn't even see my consultant confused i see another doc who said they did make slits in my tubes however not likely to help.... what was the fffffing point me going through that!! They advised IVF is my only option.....
Firstly my OH has a daughter from previous relationship she lives between us and her grandmother. My step daughters mum is a disgrace to women choose men and drugs over her.... she has another daughter now 2 years and yesterday announced she was pregnant again..... I do not resent my OH having a daughter but I dont qualify for IVF on NHS not a problem I just feel like I've been pushed to aside angry.....

I have signed up to do the egg donation programme have my first app 19th Dec I'm scared so scared I won't produce enough eggs to give a lady who would be expecting my eggs, I just want a baby now.

I work hard and taken on more responsibility I keep trying to fill a gap holidays, shopping going out etc. I'm the strong one but I'm not coping at all and I feel no one understands..... My OH has seen me break once when I lost a relative and that's it.....

I'm due on in 3 days and I don't know how I'm going to stay strong once AF arrives again and again..... I google what I think are new symptoms every cycle.

Slowly losing the will to live and slowly getting in to a darker place.

Mrscrabtree Sun 27-Nov-16 21:38:51

Sorry to hear you're having such a bad time Wifey. It's not fun. You are not alone. Do you have anyone you could talk to? Could you talk to your OH? If no friends or family have you considered seeing a counsellor? You don't have to stay strong or be the strong one, its ok to let it out flowers

user1459143756 Sun 27-Nov-16 23:32:25

Wifey I know how you feel Hun. I also have blocked tubes and have been told only option is ivf. I wasn't even told there was a way of unblocking so hopefully you do have some hope. It's so disheartening each month when AF arrives, even when I know I have zero chance of falling naturally.
My DP annoying isn't completely sold that there isn't a chance in hell of falling pregnant naturally. I know it's his way of keeping positive but I really need him to get onboard with IVF. He isn't completely sold on the idea and kind of thinks it "natures way". I thank god that we have some hope in ivf. Hopefully science will prevail over nature. Either way he knows deep down there isn't really any option. I know I will most likely have to have tubes removed so there's no chance.
I also don't qualify for ivf as oh has a son who's 8.

Wifey1990 Mon 28-Nov-16 07:25:33

It's a long hard journey. I'm a bit of a control freak and this is completely out my control. I do speak to my mum and she tries to help "it will happen" I think if your not going through it you won't get the heart ache. My OH just agrees with anything I want so his up for IVF was not keen on my sharing my eggs. His also a semi pro body builder and has stopped taking all his growth and meds for that as it can affect sperm rate. Good luck ladies and I know I'm not alone and neither are you..... Girl power wine

user1459143756 Mon 28-Nov-16 11:49:48

I think egg donation is amazing to do. My mum actually did it after she had my younger brother. She really loved the experience of helping another women. I would like to do it given the chance.
Yes it certainly is a long hard road. Have good and bad days thinking about what may or may not happen. Just remaining hopeful as much as possible.
I have my next appt in Jan so going to enjoy xmas and start the new year with positive thoughts that it may be my year to have a babysmile

Wifey1990 Mon 28-Nov-16 19:13:12

Fingers toes and everything crossed for you. I have my first app on the 19th Dec at the private clinic. Hoping 2017 is baby year xxx

user1459143756 Tue 29-Nov-16 09:48:49

Wishing you all the luck too Hun. Hope your appt goes well. Keep us updated x

Wifey1990 Tue 29-Nov-16 20:07:47

I will do and for the first time in months when AF arrived yesterday I did not cry. smile

fuzzduck Tue 29-Nov-16 20:22:57

In what circumstances do people not qualify for IVF on NHS?

Chattycat78 Tue 29-Nov-16 21:30:55

There are various factors including things like:

- having a child already
- bmi too high or too low
- smoking (i think)
- age- I don't think they allow it over 39.

There are probably others! Some areas also don't offer any ivf on the NHS, regardless.

Wifey1990 Wed 30-Nov-16 20:25:24

My husband has a daughter from a previous relationship. Even though I have never mothered a child....

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