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Feel so sad, guilty and heartbroken

(4 Posts)
ScoutFinchMockingbird Fri 11-Nov-16 12:33:47

I have a 5 year old DD so I realise I am lucky in comparison to some. But my 2.5 year conception journey to provide her with a sibling has just resulted in heartbreak following failed IVF. My conception problems relate to POF and I feel guilty as DH wanted to try for another child fairly soon after DD was born. If he'd had his way, would we have been successful? I am torturing myself I know. I didn't want to at that stage due to PND, no local family, DH having the sort of job that isn't very family friendly etc. But now I have let us all down and I am sobbing quietly on my sofa. Come and boot me back up please!

IsItIorAreTheOthersCrazy Fri 11-Nov-16 12:48:15

You haven't let anyone down OPflowers and I am so sorry the IVF didn't work.

I understand the guilt (no dc here, pcos and almost 5 years of trying treatment and no BFP - all caused by my issue) but honestly, the best thing my DH ever said was that it's our issue, we are doing our best and we are in it together

The what ifs are awful but you don't know anything for certain. If you had tried straight after DD. there is no guarantee it would have been successful - you made the best decision you could at the time (believe me, I have tortured myself that we waited so long to have house / career / finances sorted and have missed the boat) but you couldn't see what was coming.

Accept that this hurts. It's truly crap OP, but it is one of those unpredicatable things that is nobody's fault. And as un mn as it is, I am sending you <hugs and a shoulder to cry on >

FleurThomas Fri 11-Nov-16 12:54:35

Don't think about the what ifs it will drive you crazy, just focus on your dc. You prob get sick of hearing it but you ARE lucky to have a dc already, some of us would happily be in your position. smile

ScoutFinchMockingbird Fri 11-Nov-16 12:55:27

Thanks IsItI flowers for you too. Your DH sounds lovely.

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