Hi everybody...
I'm almost 40 (in December) and I'd love to hear some reassurance about IVF in general, egg collection, the medication (Menopur and Centrotide), needles and whether or not I'll completely lose my mind. Firstly - I know ultimately it will be worth it, let's take that as a given (why else would be doing it?) and although the procedures scare me a bit, it's not really bodily discomfort that scares me... I'm really scared of how the hormones will make me feel (I'm AWFUL with PMT, I really suffer with it) and the grinding WAITING produces a churning set of painful emotions. A small range of emotions is this: wild hope and belief in the process, occasions blessed times of calm, then head splitting frustration and rage that I / we have to endure this, hideous impatience, deepening dismay that the end result isn't certain and it might be all pain for no gain and so on...
I'm not sure if I'm asking for advice here as such (forgive me, but I've got advice being placed upon me at every turn) but really I'm seeking reassurance I suppose. Sorry to sound needy. Maybe if you have any positive tips about the medication if you've had the same then I suppose I'd be grateful actually... If it were a simple case of gritting my teeth to get from A to B then it would be easier, but the destination seems so fraught with possible change and cancellation and, basically, heartache. I feel like I've GOT to be optimistic as people seem to almost suggest that it's up to me to make it work by being positive - yet I know that I'll be destroyed if I fail after being positive- so I feel like being positive is too 'emotionally expensive'
Sorry to go on. I'm low today.
I'm almost 40
I'm on day 1 of cycle today, waiting for day 18 to start some tablets. After 10 days of those and a bleed, I'm on the injections...
I'm UK - first round will be NHS.
Kindness appreciated and positivity welcomed.
Thanks for reading... 😊
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IVF first timer, almost 40, nervous, hopeful, churning heap of emotions
33 replies
GardenDreamer · 08/10/2016 14:11
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