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Having such a bad day, feel lost. Secondary infertility advice?

(6 Posts)
VillageFete Sun 02-Oct-16 19:50:15


Can I say firstly that I am so blessed to already have a child who is 7. When I had DD I had a terrible birth (2 weeks overdue, induced, failed forceps, emergency section, infection in womb - I am assuming womb, they have never actually confirmed where the infection was, I cannot get any answers) All of this led to PND and PTSD. I didn't enjoy a second of her being a tiny baby, I did it all wrong, and it haunts me to this day.

Ok, been trying for DC number 2 (same partner) for over 2 years. After a year of TTC I was diagnosed with PCOS, but luckily it's not too severe as I still ovulate on my own (according to blood tests) most months on my own. It was recommended that I try 4 months worth of clomid which cost me £500 as I had to have scans etc. Still not pregnant, and I still don't know why they would recommend clomid when I ovulate on my own, but I listened to their advice anyway.

DP's sperm analysis was great, my AMH is 59, all other tests show no problems at all, besides the mild PCOS.

We are now classed as infertile. I have pushed for a laparoscopy because I feel that due to my complicated birth and infection I could have scar tissue/Asherman's syndrome or some such. I have been repeatedly told no by NHS staff and told to go private and have IVF. Again, I followed their advice and paid £185 last week to see a private consultant to discuss IVF. He told me couldn't even discuss IVF with me until i'd had a laparoscopy, a hysteroscopy and a biopsy. He said my notes showed I had asked for a laparoscopy and he agreed I needed one before I thought about IVF. He said we would then discuss the results and see if we should continue to try naturally, move on to IVF, or try IUI. He was keen to wrap the appointment up and there was no time to ask him questions, it was all so rushed.

My head is spinning today, I feel so lonely, no one understands how I am feeling. I feel let down by the NHS, I feel that no one can give me answers, I feel friends must think i'm upset for nothing as I already have one healthy child, but I cannot help but feel sad, like something is seriously missing. I feel like it will never happen and i'm grieving. Up to now I have put on a brave face and counted my blessings, but time is ticking for me and I don't know how much more I can take.

I have some questions I was hoping you could help me figure out the answers to?

If this laparosopy/hysteroscopy show lots of scar tissue and they then remove it, do I then continue to try naturally or would it be better to still go ahead with IVF? Does scar tissue stop the pregnancy implanting?

My consultant mentioned IUI, but when I look at the stats for it working they are awful, so why would he mention this? Doesn't it just give you the same odds as getting pregnant naturally each month?

If I do go down the road of IVF, how long does the whole process take and do you have to start it at a certain time in your cycle?

Basically, has anyone been in the same boat as me and had to have a hysteroscopy/laparoscopy? What was the outcome for you after it?

baffledbyscience1 Mon 03-Oct-16 08:50:25

I've been in a similar place to you.

I changed GP, told them I had mid cycle bleeding/pain and they referred me for a hysteroscopy no other tests on nhs. Armed with that info we then went private. IVF is ££££ but if you can reduce the cost slightly by getting some things done in the nhs then try!

I do t know much about IUI as we went straight to IVF so can't help there
Good luck X

baffledbyscience1 Mon 03-Oct-16 08:50:55

-*and other tests

VillageFete Mon 03-Oct-16 10:45:09

Thanks baffled Did your hysteroscopy pick up on anything, and have you gone on to have IVF since?

I have a feeling my birth has led to lots of scar tissue/adhesions & this is why we can't conceive naturally. Do you know if they can remove scar tissue/cut adhesions during the procedure or will I need another procedure once it's detected?

baffledbyscience1 Mon 03-Oct-16 13:00:36

They did a biopsy at same time, was all normal
I have had IVF but have not been successful (yet)

baffledbyscience1 Mon 03-Oct-16 13:01:33

I'm not sure what they do for scar tissue as have not had that but might be worth looking up ashermans syndrome to see what the treatments are

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