We have been on the IVF waiting list for six months and it's our first appointment on 27th September. My husband has been trying to be healthy for the last 4-5 weeks, he's a very big drinker something that has cast a shadow over us for many years. He's insisting on going on a lads night out a few days before the appointment, saying that it's only going to be a conversation they'll be having with us anyway telling us what's what. He knows about the 72 day sperm cycle, (he's the reason why we have to have ICSI-he has very low motility) and I'm furious that he's even contemplating going out. He says he'll just have a couple and that's it but we've been here before over the last ten years and he ends up getting wrecked. I'm so annoyed, he says he's bored because he's not seen his mates in ages but has had ample opportunity to go out with them. It's like he can't not go out and drink because it gives him a self esteem boost (his is very low). I just keep thinking what's more important really, you being with your mates or us having a baby?? He won't even tell his friends about our fertility issues and I know they'd understand but again it's his self esteem. We've been together for 11 years now and married for 1 and honestly I feel so let down by him and I don't know where to turn
How did the appointment go? And did he go out after? My first thoughts reading your OP are around his actions being a coping mechanism /distraction for a difficult situation - has he taken the 'burden' for being 'at fault' and isn't working through the issues? Also, wondering if this behaviour is mirrored throughout your relationship, ahd could hint at deeper issues. My partner has been very involved in our journey after I explained that he could, and should, research what we could do, what could help us etc as it was falling to me, it seemed, to plow through forums and web pages trying to get advice and I got slightly obsessed. You need to be in this together, and share the load.