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Husband has the blues

(2 Posts)
Redjeans32 Fri 26-Aug-16 00:05:36

Hi All,
Apologies for not knowing all the lingo, I'm quite new on here...here goes anyway.

We've been on the waiting list since Feb for ICSI and found out last week that we're at the top of the list now and our appointment is 5 weeks away on the 27th September.

It's like pulling teeth trying to convince my husband to not drink, he's done 3 weeks now off the booze and he is like a bear with a sore arse.

At times he's been an extremely heavy drinker (like father like son) he works very hard in his job and sees it as a release and wind down. He's also a bit down at the moment and has turned to drinking as a depressive. He's down on his appearance (he's very insecure about his thinning hair) he's paranoid about going to the gym incase he sees anyone and they pass comment about it, so with the drinking and over eating he's put on a lot of weight. I thought the ICSI coming close would be a big enough kick up the Arse for him to get out of this depressive lull, he's improved a bit but still won't go back to the gym . For his thirtieth he lost 3 stone but that was almost 3 years ago. He's also had 2 hair transplants and is now thinking about a third, I want him just to realise when he's in shape and feeling physically good he cares less about his hair, it happened before but he's completely out of that mindset now and is just being obtuse about it. I want him to be in a much healthier shape for himself and and our future but unfortunately I just see him going like his Dad whose on every tablet known to man for all his ailments.

Sorry for the long rant and moan guys, I just don't know where to turn to anymore and won't get help or listen to me. I'm trying my best to get healthy and I've got an injured hip and can't exercise as well anymore but apparently according to him "I'm lucky because I'm naturally slim."

Thanks for listening

Xxxx

blue2014 Sun 28-Aug-16 10:38:29

I'm sorry to hear things are so hard, but it sounds like he's coping with bigger issues that the icsi. Is it purely male factor? We thought ours was until I had a round of IVF and only produced 3 eggs, turned out I had very low AMH too - it would have been much easier had we known that before because it's hard for the pressure to be on one person.

Anyway, will be consider anything for his mood? Therapy? Medication? He sounds really down and he's unlikely to stop his coping behaviours whilst he feels that way. He's also likely to carry on doing this if you get pregnant and have a baby, so this is more a long term thing rather than just a fertility issue. Sorry , I know that probably doesn't help.

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