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Pregnancy announcement at work - can't cope

(10 Posts)
missmoche Thu 25-Aug-16 13:59:05

Been TTC 2 years. Nothing. Not even a hint of a second line ever.

Currently unexplained. Could be tubal but doctor said no point in investigating for that as outcome is still the same: IVF. We are supposed to be doing first cycle in October. I still get my hopes up every month that Im going to be one of the people that gets a miracle BFP just before IVF.

Pregnancy announcement at work - someone who wasnt even trying. Dont really know how to cope with how upset I feel. Probably compounded by the fact Im pre-menstrual. No one I can talk to - DH thinks Im crazy, friends just say 'dont worry - it will happen'. I feel like Im less of a person / member of society because I cant have a baby.

Dont really know what I want from this post, just wanted to vent and say all the stuff I cant say to anyone in real life.

Teakind Thu 25-Aug-16 15:15:19

Hello, just wanted to say i understand exactly how you are feeling. It's incredibly frustrating when it seems so easy for some people. It's isolating when people say 'don't worry it will happen' or 'if you could just relax i'm sure it will work' as it makes you feel like no-one understands not only how you are feeling but how difficult it can physically be for some people.

I've also had a cry in the toilets at work when yet another person has announced a pregnancy!

If it makes you feel in any way better, i'm currently going through my first IVF cycle and it hasn't been as bad as i thought it would be be.

I wish you the absolute best of luck and feel free to DM me if you ever just need to unload and get things off your chest.

RebeccaNoodles Thu 25-Aug-16 15:20:02

wine brew

It's hell. I am currently in a cafe trying to make a stressful phone call - can't hear because of, guess what, a crying baby. Fuckers are leaving now thankfully.

One of my best friends is giving birth today and I don't even want to hear about it. Will be happy for her at some point but can't do it today.

That's not very coherent, sorry - just to say you're not alone.


maplebaby Thu 25-Aug-16 15:30:18

Just wanted to echo what previous posters have said - you are not alone, despite the feeling of immense loneliness and isolation infertility brings.

I'm so sorry for the baby bomb flowers it is truly shit and I know how it feels. My team is mainly women and in the time I've been TTC 3 have got pregnant and had their babies (and coming back from maternity leave!) and one is pregnant currently.

I found the threads on here really helpful and supportive - everyone understands what you are going through unlike well meaning friends and family saying "go on holiday" "just relax". I'm in the unexplained camp too and never had a sniff of a bfp.

Good luck for starting your IVF cycle xxx

missmoche Thu 25-Aug-16 15:31:05

Thanks for the replies. Its just good to hear you validate how I feel. Actually when people say 'dont worry it'll be ok' it just makes you feel that they're not listening to you!

Glad to hear that the IVF has been ok Tea and I hope it works for you! The only silver lining Im clinging onto is that the consultant said he'd give me a sick note for 2 weeks after EC and I dont care - Im taking that time off work.

Rebecca flowers for you. Its really hard when its a friend.

FaithAscending Thu 25-Aug-16 15:33:18

Oh bless you. I remember being in the same position with similar timing. I had to hide and cry! It's ok to feel upset, especially when they didn't even try!

It did happen for us (yes an ironic 'didn't need the IVF after all' BFP). I really hope it happens for you soon flowers In the mean time, chocolate and brew

tigerdog Thu 25-Aug-16 15:41:44

Yep, another one here who gets it. Don't beat yourself up about feeling the way you do, it's perfectly normal. It's not at all helpful for friends to dismiss your concerns with trite phrases like 'it will happen'. The hardest bit is not knowing if it will until it actually does!

It's really shocked me how few people understand how hard infertility can be, and how difficult and lonely it is as a result.

I found it harder at the 1-2 year point but it has gotten easier (I'm 3.5 years and two IVF cycles in and still trying, also unexplained).

Couldn't have got this far without some amazing people I met through mumsnet though, it has been a huge help. Especially when having treatment, the support and collective knowledge made a big difference.

blue2014 Sun 28-Aug-16 10:44:47

Miss - maybe consider joining one of the infertility threads? I'm an old BESH and the woman on the mindnumbing thread are also amazing, I wouldn't have coped without the online support. The easy fertiles will never understand this, but we will.

FaithAscending Sun 28-Aug-16 12:47:31

<waves to Blue>

I second the online support. I'd never have coped without the BESH.

missmoche Sun 28-Aug-16 15:10:30

Thanks for all the support ... has brought a little tear to my eye. Sorry it has taken me a few days to reply. Been away at a wedding this weekend and feeling ok even though my period came and Im predicting a honeymoon baby for the couple! I think I will join one of the threads on this page to help keep me sane smile

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