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An infertile boat on a sea of despair

(9 Posts)
Damson9 Fri 05-Aug-16 10:38:01

Sigh.

So, after about 18 months of not getting pregnant, going through all the tests etc on the NHS, we've just been cast adrift. sad

All of our results have come back fine, so we've received the 'unexplained infertility' verdict and have been told that there's nothing more they can do for us.

Where we live (Essex), the current IVF provision on the NHS is three cycles, but they won't offer it until you've been trying for three (!) years, regardless of your age (35). We also know that they're trying to cut this, so understand that, in another 18 months, that entitlement will most likely have been reduced to one or removed all together. And, any private cycle you have reduces your NHS allowance by one, which just seems mean to me.

We have enough to fund one private cycle of IVF, but I'm worried about the pressure that will put on us. I just don't know what to do; the whole situation just seems hopeless.

I know it's not.

I know that as there's technically nothing wrong (apparently) we could just be unlucky, and it might yet happen. I know people that have been in a similar position and have gotten pregnant naturally or through IVF, some easily, some not so much. I know that IVF could find and fix the problem, but equally that it might not.

I always just assumed that I'd have children, even over the past year as the months ticked by, I just assumed it would happen at some point. Now, I'm actually starting to doubt that. What if we can't? Ever?

Sorry, just needed a bit of a vent.

OneArt Fri 05-Aug-16 12:26:43

This is a really difficult decision, but if I were you I would start going down the private IVF route.

It's gutting that will mean you get one fewer NHS IVF cycle, but as IVF success rates reduce with age, I'd want to have one now to maximise my chances. If it fails, you'll (hopefully - unless the provision changes) still be entitled to two NHS cycles in 18 months' time.

Good luck flowers

maplebaby Fri 05-Aug-16 15:06:36

No need to apologise OP. You are same as me - trying 18months and the unexplained infertility "diagnosis".

I agree with oneart about looking at IVF privately now. Have you considered IVF abroad? There are 2 ladies on a thread I'm on who are having IVF in Czech Republic - it is a lot cheaper - you could get more than one cycle for the price of one over here.

I'm currently having my first cycle of IUI (although may get cancelled due to thin lining - which I'm now convinced is my issue as I have very scanty periods post pill).

Good luck!

Damson9 Mon 08-Aug-16 10:39:59

Thank you starstar

You know, I'd never really thought about the 'going abroad' route, but I think we will give it some serious consideration.

We have picked and visited a clinic relatively local to us, where I think we will be going ahead with an initial cycle. Should that be unsuccessful, though, perhaps we will try further afield. I think I'd only feel comfortable going so far out of our way if I were perhaps familiar with the process; a first cycle, all the way away in the Czech Republic might be a bit much to take in all at once.

Good luck with your IUI xx

blue2014 Mon 08-Aug-16 17:00:48

I went to Czech Republic for my first cycle of IVF - it was honestly very easy (and I was lucky that it also worked)

Hope2409 Wed 10-Aug-16 22:23:45

Hi, my husband and i have been ttc for over 3 years, told after 12 months that IVF was the only way forward for us so applied for NHS funding, it got refused as like your area they don't like to offer it until you have been trying for 3 years or more. We decided to wait as couldn't really afford it privately. We applied this year and got accepted in June, starting first round of IVF/ICSI in October.
Waiting to reach the 3 year mark felt like it took forever and was really difficult so i agree with the ladies above, if you can afford it privately whether thats here or abroad then go for it.
We were lucky that our NHS still offered 3 cycles when we got approved for funding but i know they are looking at dropping it down in our area also and you never know when their criteria will change.

Good luck whatever you decide to do!

Good luck with your IUI maplebaby xx

loveyogalovelife Fri 11-Nov-16 06:45:19

Get private second opinion

Scans, laparoscopies and all tests normal for me but I had hysteroscopy camera in womb and found scarring

It's Asherman's Syndrome

Finally explains everything and going to see mr Adrian Lower on Monday

broodypsycho Thu 17-Nov-16 00:16:44

OP, I totally get where your coming from. I've been trying nearly 2 years, had some private tests done (hycosy and clomid) and now being under the unexplained catgeory, were being referred for IVF on the NHS.
Although I'm happy the ball is finally rolling, I'm sad at the same time as I never thought it would actually get to this point.
I'm bricking it incase IVF doesn't work, doesn't seem like I'll ever fall pregnant.
My suggestion is if you can afford it, then go privately. If not NHS.

Good luck

icy121 Thu 17-Nov-16 12:38:24

Can you have it privately abroad and just not tell the NHS? I know that's deceitful but fuck it. NHS spends £400m on fertility treatment vs £16bn on obesity-related treatment. Sorry, but being fat is more of a choice then being fucking barren. So I feel you can/need to lie to them, I would.

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