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Want to try for baby but partner doesn't

(3 Posts)
Gummybearxo Wed 27-Jul-16 15:41:50

Hi everyone I'm new to the site so apologies if I have posted in the wrong section.

I was diagnosed with PCOS just before Christmas and now having a baby is all I can think about now that I've discovered it may be an issue. I've always wanted kids but wasn't sure when we were going to try, before the diagnosis I thought maybe 26/27 would be a good age to start trying and my partner agreed (I'm 23 he's 24 we've been together almost 6 years) I've spoke to my partner about this and he has says he just doesn't want kids at the moment which I understand but I don't think he understands how I feel ever since I found out my Pcos may cause problems with us ttc I've just had this fear that it will take years trying and cause a lot of heartache and I've stressed to him that I'm scared that if we wait till were into our late 20s we could be still trying when we are into our 30s and it's not something I want and he has mentioned this in the past too. I'm just worried about waiting but I also know that we could start trying now and I could fall pregnant right away it's just that uncertainty that bothers me sad I would never want to pressure him into having a baby when he isn't ready.

I have a strong feeling that ttc won't be easy as when I was a teenager my cycles were very irregular and I would sometimes go 6 or more months without a period, from about 16 I've been on the pill then straight onto the implant which I had removed this month and back onto the pill again along with metformin as the doctor thinks this will help my pcos symptoms.

Sorry for waffling on I just don't know what to do and feel like I can't talk to anyone about this as and I can't talk to my partner about it as he just feels like I am trying to force him into having a baby, my minds doing overtime about worrying that I won't be able to have children sad

IsItIorAreTheOthersCrazy Wed 27-Jul-16 15:50:12

Hi OP. I understand the fear - I have pcos too and have been trying a long time.

I think if you can step back, you'll realise that having the diagnosis doesn't actually change much at the stage.
Me and my sister both have it. She started ttc and got pregnant almost straight away (dn is now 6). I started trying after my wedding, absolutely convinced it would be the same for me - almost 4 years later I am mid treatment and no baby.

Anyone could struggle, but you are young. Have you done much research into pcos? Could you maybe shift your focus so that when you're concentrating on making your body as good as it can be ready for when up I start ttc? Are you a healthy BMI? Are you fit? Do you take any vitamins? Do you excercise? If no, start now. Believe me, it is much harder to approach sorting these things out when the ttc has started and dealing with emotional fallout of BFNs on top.

It is hard, but if he's not ready, you can't make him unfortunately flowers

Gummybearxo Wed 27-Jul-16 16:12:31

Hi IsItIorAreTheOthersCrazy
Thanks for the reply and the advice!

I am trying to get my health in check that's another reason my dr put me on metformin as I really struggle with weight loss and have done from when I was younger I know know it's just another lovely present from my pcos 👎🏻 i am going to join the gym again too and have joined a weight management programme with my Drs as its the only way they'll prescribe orlistat now for some reason. I have done quite a bit of research and I know having a high carb diet is probably the worst for my symptoms too which in trying to combat but I'm finding it hard tbh. My dr has put me on rigevidon I did ask to be put on Yasmin but she won't due to my family history and weight and she won't even entertain me with spyro or any other non contraceptive drug I mentioned sad i know I can't make him I wouldn't want to either I just don't think he understands the impact it's having on me mentally.

I wish you all the best in ttc fingers crossed it comes soon <3!

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