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I'm feeling crushed

(3 Posts)
Bethany22 Sat 11-Jun-16 23:05:57

I'm 21 and due to start uni, I have multiple health conditions. I have a degenerative spinal condition which means I will not be able to carry a child if I leave it much longer, I also have a autoimmune disorder that increases my risk of cancer, I've been advised to have hysterectomy as a result. I've always known it would be difficult for me to have a baby and it's never really bothered me I've always wanted to adopt hard to place sibling groups and older children with additional needs, I've been looking into it for awhile so when I get my own place I can start the process immediately, but since I've been told that the window for me to have a child is so small all I can think about is babies, I want to experience pregnancy and feel that mother baby bond. I'm single and seriously considering having a one night stand so I can have a baby. I have no job I'm moving for uni and will have no support but I can't think of anything worse than not having a child. I'm aware I have no way to give a baby the type of upbringing and life they deserve if I have a baby now but I feel like I'm being crushed, my family are no help as I've always said I wanted to adopt and had no intention to have a child but I'm 21 I have always known that it was unlikely I'd have a baby but knowing doesn't help, it may not be a surprise for me to find out but prior to this appointment I've been thinking about how nice it will be to start a family, I'd almost forgotten or like I hadn't realised how bad the problem was and I need someone to tell me that it's ok and remind me why having a one night stand is a bad idea.

Anonymousperson Sun 12-Jun-16 20:03:15

I have PM'd you x

Amara123 Sun 12-Jun-16 21:47:31

Dear Bethany

It sounds like you are having such a tough time with such health challenges. I kind of think everyone who has fertility type issues needs professional counselling to help us through all these tough decisions. It's not something to rush into esp as you would be doing it unsupported and at a young age. But no one can tell you what's right for you, only you. And everyone on this board has probably had the "why don't you adopt" comment, which is always unwelcome and over simplistic.

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