1 Miscarriage & 3 Ectopic Pregnancies

[heartbroken4times]

Hi all im new to this, needing some much needed advice / support. My story is we have 3 children and then 1 miscarriage and 3 Ectopic Pregnancies all in the last 4 years, so basically my last 4 attempts at a baby have all failed miserably. We are absolutely heartbroken this time as we really hoped it was our last chance at our happy ending... :( as with my Miscarriage it took me about 1 year to mentally get enough strength to want to try again. We tried for 1 full year when i fell pregnant, it was Ectopic. They kept me in hospital and i started to get increasing pain so they took me to surgery to prevent a rupture. My left tube was removed. We were advised to wait 1 full period which we did and i fell pregnant staright away, 12 weeks later i had my 2nd confirmed Ectopic pregnancy! This time on my right tube. I was treated with Methatrexiate and sent home. It was over Christmas in 2014 and i was in agony and very sick. I ended up spending 5 days in hospital away from my kids which was so sad at Christmas time especially until the ectopic pulled away from my tube and passed / dissolved away :(. Then 18 months i fell pregnant again and we were over the moon! I felt great but then started spotting. I googled up to much as i had never had this before and it could be normal and implantation bleeding. So i was excited and proactive, i made my own appointment at the Early Pregnancy Clinic for a 7 week scan, i made my own appointment with my GP to have my bloods done and HCG Levels checked and when i didnt feel well i sat down and let the housework wait! The HGG were at 11,000 then fell to 9650 within 24hours so i had them repeated again in 48 hrs and they had failed again dropping to 7600. I had a scan done the next day making me nearly 7 weeks and my bloods had dropped again to 5300. The scan revealed that there was nothing in my womb and a 3cm x 2.8cm mass on my right tube! :( i was admitted to the ward and kept in over night. As the pain hadnt got worse and as they knew what they were dealing with they said they were happy to send me home and wait and see approach. They saw me back in 48hrs and my bloods had dropped again to 3900. I asked for a scan which i was refused saying that it would be off no benefit as they knew what they were dealing with and they were sure my body would just miscarry the pregnancy itsself. I wasn't happy to be honest as i really felt i would of felt more at ease with a scan and to know if the pregnancy had got any smaller or bigger etc. I wasn't being seen back for 7 days so i was very anxious and 3 days later i collaspsed in horrendous pain on my kitchen floor and my husband called the ambulance and they got me to hospital but i was terrified! I was curled up in agony on the stretcher on the way to the hospital unable to draw my legs down and absolutely terrified when i was took straight to theatre as soon as i got to hospital. I woke up with my pregnancy and my right and final remaining tube removed along with evactuation of my uterus. I was heartbroken, not just did i loose our baby that we so badly wanted but also my remaining tube and now i can't conceive again. 10 days on the tears will not stop falling and no one seems to understand!

[Indecisivejo]

While I feel your pain and sympathise with you (I have had two ectopics) I feel you may have posted this in the wrong place. This is infertility and you have 3 children, I'm not saying this doesn't make what you have been through any less traumatic but some of us on here are struggling to even conceive one and cannot fall preg naturally at all so I think you need to be a little more considerate.

[FizzyFeet]

OP I'm so sorry for your losses. I too had a mc and two ectopics, and lost both tubes; it is completely devastating. You might find it useful to post on the miscarriage and pregnancy loss section (under the body and soul topic) - I found it a good source of support and comfort.

[reynoldsnumber]

You poor thing. This sounds so hard, and you will no doubt have loads of hormones going around you making everything worse too. Be really kind to yourself, and give yourself time to grieve what you have lost. It will take time, as you know from your previous losses. Every miscarriage/ectopic is painful, and you have lost more than that. I think people/friends can struggle to give the right support at times like this because it's so unusual and the feelings are so strong.

[Northernlurker]

Indecisivejo - I think the op may have posted on this board as she now cannot conceive without assistance. She has been through some very painful and distressing experiences and I don't think it's in the spirit of Mumsnet to tell her off for posting in the wrong place.

Op - I'm very sorry you've had such an awful time. Give yourself some recovery time and then see how you feel about the next step. Is your gp sympathetic?

[IonaMumsnet]

Hi folks. Just to clarify, we know everyone's story here is different and that there are lots of posters here who are having a truly dreadful time and potentially facing never being a parent, but we do recognise secondary infertility as being very difficult, albeit in different ways, to infertility when one has no children, and think it's probably not useful to try to differentiate when really every situation is unique. Everyone here is just looking for some support and we know this is a great board to come to in those circumstances, so thank you to everyone on this thread doing just that. Our thoughts and good wishes are with you all and we hope you get the positive outcome you deserve. Peace and love to you all.

[TepidCat]

I'm so sorry you have had to go through this. You need a lot of love and healing right now but I wanted to give you hope (as someone who
had had 3 ectopics and have no tubes) that IVF can work for ladies with no Fallopian tubes.

xx

[heartbroken4times]

TepidCat, NorthernLurker, Reynoldsnumber & Fizzyfeet Thank you all very much for your lovely replys of support. Yes my GP has been very good and I'm still off work (3 weeks & 3 days since surgery) so I've been taking it easy. I've only just started to sleep better and eat abit so I'm getting stronger though still very emotional. Thanks for your advice and support I really appreciate it xx