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Pre-IVF limbo - anyone else?

(70 Posts)
RebeccaNoodles Tue 15-Mar-16 18:03:21

Just that really. We're scheduled to have IVF in June. Been ttc for 14 months - which I know isn't that long (she says defensively) but I am nearly 39 and have endometriosis so I'm not getting hopes up. Especially with the stats for my age group.

Part of me feels like detaching from the whole thing - partly as a self-protective thing. I used to feel cheered up by the 'IVF working first time' stories but now they get me down as I don't want to let myself hope ... Agh.

If you met me in real life you would think I was quite cheerful!! Anyone else in a similar boat?! Dreading IVF yet also hoping against hope??

Amummyatlast Tue 15-Mar-16 18:45:54

I'm sort of in a similar situation. I've had IVF/ICSI successfully on the NHS (second go was successful) but now we want number 2 and ttc naturally is not working (not that I thought it would really). We've had our appointment, but due to my work commitments we won't be able to do ICSI until the summer. I'm excited about trying again, but nervous about spending the money, having to take time off for scans and doing the egg collection (the worst bit for me).

Polar81 Tue 15-Mar-16 21:49:04

I totally understand where you're coming from and was teetering on the edge of not going through with it till the very moment of taking the first injection! All the way through the initial stages I kept secretly thinking 'but hopefully I'll be pregnant again anyway by then so I won't have to do any of this'. Lo and behold that didn't happen and I'm now in the 2 week wait.

Vixxfacee Wed 16-Mar-16 12:42:03

Hi Rebecca,

I understand how you feel! I started ivf in October and have 3 embryos frozen. Have been on the waiting list since then but finally will be able to start my injections again at the end of the month.

Mixed emotions between being positive and planning for the baby, to be down and thinking it's not going to work and the last 4 years have been for nothing!
Here if you want to let off.

RebeccaNoodles Wed 16-Mar-16 13:08:11

Thanks for the replies everyone, sorry not to reply earlier! Good to know it's not just me who's dreading/hoping.

Amummy I'm really glad that it did work for you in the end - I hope you get your second baby. And thanks for the support Polar and Vixxface. Vixxface that must be awful suspense waiting since October. Do you mind me asking if they transferrred any embryos the first time around or was the cycle halted? I'm sorry if that's a stupid or intrusive question.

It's funny. I told a friend I was on waiting list for IVF and her reaction was 'that's great!' I know she was trying to be supportive and yes, it's great that it exists - thank God. But in another way not so great that we have to go through the stress and £££ and humiliating procedures and being generally lifted up and shaken upside down for something that's a lot more fun for other people. Ohhhh well. I would change my tune if the option was taken away, that's for sure.

Good luck and wine to all.

Vixxfacee Wed 16-Mar-16 14:12:47

Because I have pcos they wanted to reduce the risk of over stimulating me so they decided to do a frozen cycle. (Apparently has a higher success rate in my clinic).

So I had egg collection and have just been waiting! They basically said call during your March period.

Are you paying privately?

RebeccaNoodles Thu 17-Mar-16 16:17:56

Hi VIxx, sorry for the late reply. That sounds really hard - such a long-drawn out wait. Jeez. You poor thing, I really hope you're staying sane.

We are NHS for this cycle but the success rate is 22% for my age group, so I'm pretty sure we'll have to go private after that. I want to keep my expectations low so that if it doesn't work out, I'm not a total wreck. But of course I'm hoping inside. I am bit worried about overstimulating - partly because of my endo but also my AMH is 25 which I was naively pleased about but the doc seemed to think this was FREAKISHLY high (she kept saying 'You don't have pcos but you are BORDERLINE' as if that was something very alarming).

I am so envious of my friends who don't know any of these medical terms and have 2/3 kids.

Vixxfacee Thu 17-Mar-16 16:36:04


Why did they say 22% could they give you a reason why? How old are you?

Have they mentioned a frozen cycle to you? My clinic said 35% but with a frozen then 55%.

I know what you mean about keeping your expectations low. We have to protect ourselves from it all sad

RebeccaNoodles Thu 17-Mar-16 17:30:18

Hi, that's just the stats for my age group as published on the HFEA website - I'm nearly 39, will be 39 when it happens sad Frozen cycles are only .07 higher for this place. Most private clinics have much better stats I know, and I was wondering whether we should go straight to private ... but it seemed stupid to give up a chance of free treatment. I don't know, we'll soon find out.

Oh well. I'm telling myself that it will hopefully have a diagnostic value ... we'll see. Either way it will be nice to get the waiting over and done with!!

Vixxfacee Thu 17-Mar-16 17:31:41

Have you thought about how many embryos you will put back?
How many NHS tries do you get?

I wouldn't definitely use the free go. Hopefully you won't need to go private!

RebeccaNoodles Fri 18-Mar-16 10:11:33

No, I haven't thought that far ahead! I don't want to count my chickens if you know what I mean and we might not even get to embroy stage. We get 3 tries before 40 - very generous - but because of the time frame we'll realistically only have time for 2. But yes, hopefully we won't need to go private ...

How about you, how do you go about deciding how many to put back? Hope it's not too stressful a decision.

poseysuzy Fri 18-Mar-16 13:29:37

Hey! Can I join? About to start ICSI hopefully on my next period! Got appointment on weds to see counsellor and I think we start meds after that? Anyone in the same boat? smile

RebeccaNoodles Sat 19-Mar-16 13:52:11

Hi posey, not me personally - we're months away (hence in limbo, ie not started treatment yet) but I hope it goes well! That is good that you see a counsellor, hope it's helpful. It must be nice to get started after months ofwaiting. Best of luck!

poseysuzy Sat 19-Mar-16 19:26:42

Hi Rebecca! Thanks! Yes it has felt like forever to wait but I'm not the most patient person! winkI think the counsellor appointment is law apparently? Do you know how long you have to wait for? X

poseysuzy Sat 19-Mar-16 19:36:25

Just re read original post and saw that you start in June. Try not to over think it too much (easier said than done!) statistics are just based on averages not individual people! No medical professional can give you a correct percentage chance - just a best guess. In my eyes I think - it will either 100% work or 100% not work and other than staying healthy and relaxed there's nothing more you can do! smile xx

poseysuzy Sat 19-Mar-16 19:37:18

And there's a lot to be said for positive thinking! X

backonthewagon Mon 21-Mar-16 01:00:35

We start August/September. I am feeling very positive about it working although I am very aware it may not at the same time. My clinic has stats of 43.4% for under 35s for fresh cycle of IVF/ICSI. I feel excited to be moving forward after nearly 3 years of TTC but if it doesn't work then I can see myself being very low like I was in December/January before we decided to go for the IVF.

LHReturns Mon 21-Mar-16 06:37:17

I would love to join you guys if I may ahead of the summer?

I am currently 7 days into a FET cycle (short antagonist cycle - only started injecting Gonal F last Monday and did not do any down regging). We are looking towards EC this Wednesday (scan in a few hours will confirm this - could be Thursday). If we get something to freeze we will hope to put one or two back in August. This would be my second child, first DS is nearly 2 and was conceived naturally. I am now 40.

Sounds like I may have some buddies on this thread for summer cycles? I would love that!

LHReturns Mon 21-Mar-16 06:38:33

Posey I like your mental approach to the statistics...I am going to use that.

MPP81 Mon 21-Mar-16 08:25:50

Hello all! May I join?

We've been ttc since August 2014. I have a 13 year old from a previous relationship, so secondary infertility here. We've discovered recently that our issue is male factor (very low count) and been advised that icsi is our best option. We'll be doing this in Czech, but we are getting married in May and on honeymoon in june, so it's likely to be July (or even august) before we get things moving. I'm finding it a bit difficult that, after all the trying and planning, we now have nothing to do but wait patiently (though obviously having our wedding to look forward to does take a bit of the sting out). Like some of you, I'm rather worried about ivf and all it entails, and hoping for a miracle before we get to that point, but after 20 ish cycles, it doesn't seem likely.

LHReturns Mon 21-Mar-16 09:10:44

MPP81 - hello!

My wedding is also the reason I am freezing anything we get from this week's egg collection. We get married in June and due to various work and family events we are hoping to do a transfer in August.

I too have one child already but he is only 20 months. I am now 40 though, and the problem is definitely mine. Think things have dropped off a cliff fertility wise in last few year or so.

I totally get your limbo feeling! The wedding is a nice distraction tho...I would love to be doing this alongside you during the summer.

Sitting at Lister now hoping they will confirm my Wednesday EC today...other than nausea I have had very few side effects from 7 doses of the highest possible dose of Gonal F so far. This does not fill me with optimism I must say. I wanted the giant bloated tummy from 100s of lovely mature follicles...

backonthewagon Mon 21-Mar-16 10:42:44

LH Returns I am at Lister too. Are you local to there? I have an appointment there on August 10th if you fancy meeting up?

MPP81 Mon 21-Mar-16 11:32:14

Hi LH!

We briefly played with the idea of squeezing in a cycle before the wedding but decided against it for various reasons. Limbo very accurately describes how I feel right now. July/August seems so far away at the moment but it would be fab if we were doing this at the same time around then. smile

I've only just had my blood tests and currently awaiting results. The GP originally sent me for blood tests and a scan which showed mildly polycystic ovaries, but in the meantime, he sent DP for an SA and when the results came back, he referred us straight to clinic without me finding out what my blood results were, or even which he'd done. We're in south Wales, which currently has a 12-18 month wait, plus we wouldn't be eligible for IVF anyway, so we've gone private for the blood tests Czech require for me, and I'm hoping there's no further issues and it's just the swimmers we need to worry about!

Hope your EC has been confirmed for you! smile

LHReturns Mon 21-Mar-16 17:19:14

MPP81, we only squashed in a frozen cycle now because I am 40 and my blood tests revealed an AMH of a sexy 2.8. Despite having had one (successful) pregnancy aged 38, and one miscarriage aged 39, my consultant was all 'we should take this as a warning sign, let's do one now'.

If that AMH result had not been so crap we wouldn't be doing a cycle before summer either. You haven't mentioned your age - are you a fogey like me? Let me know your blood results when they come back!

EC confirmed for Wednesday...there are 6 follicles that are all over 18mm and looking good. I am disappointed with the number but they were pretty clear I should be happy as they expected less (AMH again...). I have got myself very hung up about the fact that at over 40 there is just 1 good egg out of 10, so 6 really doesn't seem enough.

I plan to get al the supplements that bananafish and others on here have taken for the next 3 or 4 months so I am perhaps in a better position of it turns out I need another fresh round in the summer.

Anyway - trigger tonight and let's see what happens!

LHReturns Mon 21-Mar-16 17:20:15

Backonthewagon I would love to meet up. Will PM you.

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