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Infertility positives (don't laugh!)

(7 Posts)
CatnipMouse Tue 17-Nov-15 16:44:28

OK, so I'm feeling crappy after another failed IVF cycle. Obviously I was desperate for it to work, but it hasn't. But over the last few weeks I have been thinking about the occasional positive aspects of this shitty thing that takes up so much of my life and energy. Not in a 'count your blessings' way but just reflecting that there has been the odd good thing. I'd say mine are: a closer relationship with my Dad, more empathy for other people's struggles, and a more informed view of what is important in life.

Wondering if anyone has anything to add. What do you think?

Everhopeful76 Tue 17-Nov-15 17:51:42

Its really good that you can see some positives from your sadness. So sorry that your cycle failed. Am starting IVF in January or February so will definitely try and take a leaf out of your book and try and derive some positives and post them on this thread. Having the strength to be able to go through with IVF treatment in itself is a massive big deal and emotional strain so I would say that was a positive also. Take care x

misspz Tue 17-Nov-15 21:44:16

I haven't even started IVF(still waiting for a month with NhS) but the wait is endless and every month is still a pain that no one seems to understand.

I like to try and stay positive as well. Me and my partner are much closer than ever before. Also, once I started to talk about the whole infertility with people near me, I've learned how common it actually is, knowing that you're not alone does help.

Also a few glasses of wine very failed've got to take the small wins right?!

Will you start another cycle Catnip?

sparechange Tue 17-Nov-15 21:47:43

We've had 3 holidays that we wouldn't have been able to have if our first and second rounds had worked!
That meant lying on some lovely beaches, seeing some amazing wildlife AND doing some great wine tasting

imip Tue 17-Nov-15 21:54:02

Yy to travel. During our infertility, we did loads of travel. Most memorably a trip backpacking across Turkey and Egypt and the transiberian railway.

We didn't need IVF, but I needed surgery. We were only infertile for 18 months, but then lost our first daughter to stillbirth and it took around 3 years to bring a surviving baby home. We were in our 30s, good jobs, well paid, especially after losing our dd and basically doing nothing (didn't want to travel, too sad for a social life, a v. Nervous subsequent pregnancy where we did nothing). We saved loads of money, had a really good house deposit. This meant I could be a sahm when we finally had dcs. I'd give it all back not to know the pain of losing a child, and the pain of infertility; but the fact remains that we had more money as a result of this set of circumstances.

imip Tue 17-Nov-15 21:57:27

Oh, and I can look back on my life and know I really lived if that makes sense. I did some great country walks in the UK, went to nice restaurants, lived a good life. I ran a marathon, got really focussed on running. I don't feel like I missed out on anything or regret anything, if that makes sense.

misspz Tue 17-Nov-15 22:02:50

I'm with on on that imip, we've done a lot if traveling over the last 3 years that we would not have done had we had an easy start. Also now we've managed to save up and get a bigger flat for the start of our family life.

I guess knowing the pain of infertility will make it so much sweeter once you go trough a successful cycle.

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