Ivf delayed yet again, advice please

[Pinkheels]

Hello everyone
I’m hoping you may be able to help advise me as I had a meltdown at my appointment this morning and turned into a blubbering mess.
I’m 29, ttc for 3.5 years and have pcos. There are also motility issues with my husband. The plan was to begin a short flare icsi cycle today but my scan showed a cyst. Not large enough to warrant it being drained, but not small enough to ignore.
The consultant has advised a 2 month break and also prescribed me the pill. I questioned whether this would be the best option for me as having taken it in the past, I had horrendous side effects and he said I had the option to not take anything and that I could just wait and see if the cyst goes down by itself. He’s given me the prescription and told me to think on it before making a decision.

After an abandoned cycle in June, a private hscsy in July to rule out a suspected polyp and a failed cycle in September I’m really struggling with the fact that I’d prepared myself for another attempt but yet again there’s another delay and I’m stuck in the limbo hell of waiting. After the failed cycle I really questioned whether I wanted to go through this again and I was feeling so positive this morning before I came crashing back down.

Should I just take the medication or wait it out? Is there anything else I could do?

I’m really struggling at the minute-my husband seems to be dealing with things by putting them out of his mind but I’m not coping at all. There’s no one I can talk to in real life, all my friends have children and I’ve drifted apart from them. Everyone around me is on child number two and after 5 years of marriage, all I seem to see are constant reminders of my failure

Any wisdom would be appreciated please

[Hugamug]

Hi pinkheels, I just wanted to say hello and that I totally understand how awful any delay in this whole process is. I find its so hard to try and put a positive spin on everything in my mind, and that instantly unravels with each set back. Hugs, this sucks and I'm sorry you don't have anyone to talk to in real life, although I don't think anyone who hasn't been through this could ever understand. I had a cyst that disappeared in a few months during the investigations before ivf so maybe waiting it out is an option? Be kind to yourself, and you are young so there is time yet

[loopylou1984]

Pink, I totally get how you're feeling. I've now had 2 abandoned cycles and it feels like you're just not getting a chance.
My husband manages to put it out of his mind more easily than me too, I think it's because it's not their body going through it.

My second abandoned cycle I had a cyst, they said I could still go ahead and it wasn't big enough to affect things.... Well it was a natural cycle and I never produced a dominant follicle and my lining never got thick enough. Although it doesn't feel like it you are so much better off.

My cyst disappeared by itself, but I know of other people's who's haven't. You can only go by the advice of your clinic. I think I'd go with whichever option they thought was best. Xx

[Pinkheels]

Thanks for the responses and I'm sorry for the late reply. ive decided that I'm going to go back next month to be rescanned to see if the cyst has come down in size and if it hasn't, then I'll take the medication offered. I guess I'm wary of putting my body through yet more strain if I decide to take the pill, I took it for 6 months and had terrible side effects. The consultant was clear that there were no guarantees either way and the option was up to me. As silly as it sounds, even a delay of 2 months is hard to deal with when you've built up all your hopes but I'm feeling a lot more calmer now and more objective. Thanks for your kind words