Advanced search

gp referral for fertility

(24 Posts)
calcium123 Mon 12-Oct-15 21:33:45

Hi me and my partner have been visiting his local hospital where we were told we qualify for nhs funded fertility treatment. However the actual process of being referred is seeming so long! We made an app where they were confused and said the hos may have already refered us after contacting the hos they said it was defo the gp job to do it. After calling our gp back they said we have 100 people in front of us to be referred until we r looked at!!! Is this normal how long did anybody wait to be referred and was it easy. Very frustrated would love to hear back

Vap0 Mon 12-Oct-15 23:32:08

Good luck with your referral, you never know 100 people may not take as long as you think it sounds. They tend to plough through them at the infertility clinic, also, don't forget quite a few of these people will get pregnant before they even make it to the clinic. I think they use this waiting game in the hope that people will get pregnant and won't use the appointments, which is great but when you've already been trying for over a year when you initially go in to see them it's very frustrating. I think from 1st referral it took us about 3/4 months to get an appointment which was a quick swab and loads of questions and then another 3 month wait to see the specialist. I'm not the best person for giving good news as we seem to have just been waiting forever. Although our circumstances keep changing which hasn't helped. If I hadn't started ovulating back in March he would have given me clomid. Now I'm waiting again until January when they will look at putting me on the IVF list. In the mean time I have had a mc in Aug and an now not ovulating again so think this will just mean they will send me away again to do some more waiting. It's all so horrible and mind numbingly boring! How long have you been ttc?

Best of luck flowers

calcium123 Tue 13-Oct-15 20:51:11

Hi vap0 thanks for your reply. Just wondering if your still about before I reply lol

Vap0 Tue 13-Oct-15 21:35:45

Yep! Always about grin

calcium123 Tue 13-Oct-15 22:25:37

It's so true how frustrating it all is. How many cycles have u had and how long have u been ttc? My partner had retrograde ejaculation (semen goes up instead of out) sorry if to much info. So after our semen analysis from urine sample after orgasm his results came back good enough that we cab have iui or ivf. But the process on nhs is absolutely awful so far. After months we don't even seem to be past the referal stage. How is your journey going and are u based in the uk? Are u going private or nhs. Good luck with it too I hope we all get there

Vap0 Tue 13-Oct-15 22:37:42

We are in month 26 at the min and based in the UK. Due for an IVF referral in jan but that's a 3 month waiting list too. Although as nothing stays the same with my cycles they always find reasons to tell me to go away. I'm in 2 minds of going private for clomid but my nhs Drs have been so crap and haven't even had a blood test for well over a year I think and when I did have one I had no form of cycle at all so the results were totally up the pole. So with the lack of blood tests im wondering if it's worth it as by the time I've had a blood test and they can prescribe me clomid it will be December and don't know if I want to be taking anything over Xmas so thinking now I may just wait for the nhs appointment in jan. Have you had your initial appointment yet? I would imagine they will ask your dp for another SA when you go but that should be relatively quick and after that I can't imagine the wait would be more than 3 months. Have they given you an appointment date yet? One suggestion is call them and try to bring your appointment forward? They do get lots of cancellations due to pregnancies and also people not being able to turn up so its worth being on a cancellation waiting list.
Wishing you lots of luck and speedy treatment flowers

calcium123 Wed 14-Oct-15 11:42:22

On the 26 wow no wonder why u r frustrated. We are still waiting on the gp to make a referal to a fertility clinic and that's so hard they keep main mistakes and saying it's a long process. Even to have an appointment will b great news for us! Why do they keep turning u away and how comes ur process has been so long? Have u gone through with any ivf cycles yet? Hope it all speeds up for u. I didn't no there was a 3 month waiting list but doesn't surprise me. We were thinking to go private aswell but be careful as if u have two cycles private it means u can't have it on nhs x

Vap0 Wed 14-Oct-15 12:57:31


I was on depo which stopped af and anything happening for 9 months (after the 3 month wear off period)
Then af arrived very erratically for another 6 months with no ovulation
They magically I ovulated in March just before my appointment, he was going to put me on clomid on that day but with me telling him I had ovulated he wouldn't do anything.
They sent me away and went back in the summer, can't remember when and as I was still ovulating they wouldn't do anything until I had a year if ovulating under my belt as they say it takes normal couples 12 months to conceive.
So they agreed I could go back in Jan to go in the IVF waiting list as if I was ovulating myself there was no point putting me on clomid.
We then had a bfp in Aug, followed by a mc at 5weeks 6days and since then I haven't thought I've been ovulating as opk's have been saying no, they are a different batch to the ones which said I was ovulating though so who knows. However I've also started temping this month and the graph suggests so far that I probably am ovulating, should know in 2-3 days. Dr's won't even speak with me until Jan so haven't informed them about the pregnancy or mc. I'm just concerned that if I go back and tell them I was pregnant and had a mc and then haven't ovulated for a couple of months and then have started again for a month they will just send me away for another 12 months. It's a totally shit process.
If only I had the £7k+ per month for IVF. This is one of the reasons we are still waiting. It's going to be a difficult one deciding whether to tell the dr about the bfp and mc. I can see it hindering my chances of any help. I regret telling them back in March that I had ovulated, I wasn't going to but dp forced me to, if I hadn't said anything I would have had 3-6 months of clomid and either been pregnant or would be on the IVF list already if not already having the drugs! So frustrating! If they send me away again when I go back in Jan I'll ask about what their rules are on private treatment before not being allowed back into nhs as I understand it differs depending on where you live.

How long have you been ttc? Can they give you any idea of time scales of this list of 100 people? I know a lot of the waiting is just in the hope and knowledge that a percentage of the waiting list people will get pregnant.

Have they told you the odds of getting pregnant with your dp's sperm as it is? Or is there no hope?

Hyland Wed 14-Oct-15 21:02:01

100 may not be to bad as 5 patients a day is only 20 days.

I had to wait 6 weeks for private ivf consultation so 100 between a few could be gone through quite quickly.

You can attend an open evening for clinics so you can get a better idea on how it all works and some answers to your questions.

calcium123 Thu 15-Oct-15 11:40:21

Thanks for ur guys replies. We are going through nhs but we are still finding it hard to be referred. We have been placed back as they made another mistake it's so frustrating sad

Vap0 sorry to hear about your mc. What a sticky situation u r in in regards to telling them and fearing it may jeprodise your chances. Personally I wouldn't tell them its hard enough getting the support we need. What is your take on it. Our semen analysis came back that we can go ahead with ivf or iui so I am pleased altho I'm not sure what it all means lol

calcium123 Thu 15-Oct-15 11:55:48

Oh and vap0 the odds of us conceiving naturally is 0% we have been ttc for 6 years. So it's defo ruled out. And of course the money matter is so outrageous if how much is costs yet nhs is so hard to get best friend is pregnant and so is my sis in law I'm really struggling right now to stay happy for them and not be selfish but it's making things harder and I feel awful for it.

Vap0 Sat 17-Oct-15 08:19:27

calcium not really sure what to say about your fertility clinic referral? Here we were referred straight away and had an appointment in about 3 months I think. Although everywhere you go it's different. Maybe call them and ask how long they would expect it to take with 100 people ahead of you? Also ask if there is usually another wait once you have been referred? Perhaps where you are the waiting is done before the referral and not after like we had? Also check you have had all tests you will need for your appointment as you don't want to slow it down when you finally do see them. Sorry to hear you have 0% without help, that is so crap!
I really am in 2 minds about what to tell them. Do I be honest and risk being delayed anymore (which is almost certain) or do I keep quiet and they will proceed with the process? I'm thinking I should keep quiet. Dp won't be very happy about it, he insisted I told them about ovulation in March which was the worst thing we could have done as now here we are still waiting. So, yes, I'm going to keep my mouth shut and hope they haven't had any notifications from my dr (unlikely).
I'm sick of all of these pregnant women and new borns. My niece wasn't even thought of before we started trying. I stupidly told them we had started trying so they did too, they had this thought it would be nice having 2 babies at the same time, but didn't tell us their plans. They had a mc month 1 of trying but straight away were pregnant again and she is now 4 or 5 months old. It's horrible seeing other people sail through it, getting pregnant so easily and everything going to plan. Failure is always on my mind. It's just awful! It's all I think about all day every day. So, what I suppose I'm saying is that it's natural to struggle to be happy for them. I've distanced myself from my family and find that easier. Not sure if it's the right thing to do but it's easier than being in tears after seeing them.

calcium123 Sun 18-Oct-15 12:11:20

So crazy to hear you are feeling the same. And the exact same thing happened to me. I stupidly also said we were starting the process to start trying then before u know it their great news comes along. It's frustrating and because of the circumstances of me slipping up and telling them it feels so crap. Perhaps distancing myself could be a good thing to I'm really struggling. I'm pleased u chose to not say and go ahead without telling them altho ur dh may not b impressed it really does make sense! And sometimes a bit of dis honesty won't do any harm! Keep me updated I would like to know how u get on. The gp told us it could take a few more weeks so I gave noted in my diary. When u r waiting for something it seems so much longer !!! U mentioned tests we would need before our app could u advise me what these could be so I can get onto them and perhaps speed up the process. My gp is so crap.

Vap0 Sun 18-Oct-15 20:07:54

I really don't know what tests? Sorry, I really struggle with my dr's too? I suppose the normal test will be a day 21 blood test for you to check you are ovulating. I'm sure that can't be too difficult to get, and you may have had it already. I suppose other than that you may be better asking on other threads who have male factor issues. I don't know much about it sorry. Other than that I suppose they may just go into IVF if they gave no reason to suspect you have any problems. I'm not really sure?

The worst thing about waiting for these appointments, or maybe it's just me, by the time the appointment arrives, you have waited for 3-6 months for this day and when it comes it is such an emotional time and you have been waiting for this appointment for so long that
1. You forget to ask the questions you should be asking even when you have written them down as you feel like a fool reading your list in front of them
2. They offer no assistance at all and send you away again and in any other circumstance in life you would never take no as an answer but in that room of vulnerability and failure you can't fight your corner
3. End up leaving in tears

So crap! I have a couple of newly married friends who I am expecting announcements from any time and when that comes it will just tear me apart. It's horrible how this process turns you into such a bitter person.

Sorry for being so negative today, I've been in a bad mood all weekend! Secretly hoping that this may be a great sign that we may be lucky this month <laughs at the thought>.

Hope your appointment is only a few weeks like he said! And yes! Good for you setting a reminder, call them, and call them again! Chase them like crazy because they don't seem to understand this torturous process! Best of luck! Keep me updated with how you get on!

I'm on a nice tread you may like to join, "will you be my infertility/clomid/follicle tracking friend please?" lovely bunch of long time ttcers.

Vap0 Sun 18-Oct-15 20:11:41

On a positive note I just bought a christmas dress? Can't wait until it arrives, hope it's nice grin

Vap0 Sun 18-Oct-15 22:59:13

So, I just explained to dp that we won't be telling the dr about the mc and he was really cross, he said we can't withhold medical history. So I told him I'd be going on my own to the next appointment. He is not happy about it at all. I was also just reading another thread on here where the girl had a mc and the dr's said that she had to wait for 6 months after mc until they would offer any help. Now I know what my dr's are like and know they will take any opportunity to send me away. I'm on a definite not saying a word thought! Just hope I can keep dp's mouth shut!
How shit that the dr's make you do this!
I was In the waiting room once and there is a wall of thank you notes from people thanking them for helping them have their child, all I can see them is being the child prevention team! This lot are more effective at birth control than my contraception!

sez1234 Wed 16-Dec-15 15:18:04

Hello, have you finally got your first refferal yet.? Been waiting 3 months and still nothing. confused

Judylamb Sun 03-Jan-16 23:08:12

Hi, thought I'd join your chat, I have been trying for just over a year and nothing. I had a miscarriage 2 1/2 years ago with a previous partner.bith myself and my biyfriend have had the relive the tests, his sperm count is good and I'm ovulating. Personally I think I ovulate too late but still! Anyway, after several visits to the doctors and a final one with me in tears of frustration we have been referred. That said. I've heard nothing although am told it should be at least three months. I'm 40 in September and finding the whole thing thoroughly depressed! Not helped by AF arriving today :-(

sez1234 Mon 04-Jan-16 17:33:21

Hi Judy, Hope your okay. I know how you feel. we've been trying for roughly two years and still nothing. I've been waiting for referral for about 3 months and still nothing so far. I seem to not get anywhere unless i make appointments and constantly hound the doctor which just adds to the stress. i hope you have some good news soon . :-)

Judylamb Wed 06-Jan-16 22:46:04

Have people been waiting three months since being referred by your doctors to hear anything or do you have your appointments and they are three months away?

sez1234 Thu 07-Jan-16 10:23:57

I'm still waiting for an appointment and husbands second sample after 3months. However i was never giving a time frame,just a shrug of the shoulders. I need to go back and chase up again my husbands first sample took nearly 4 months but right now i think i need to try think about something else. How long have you been waiting?

spaceyboo Fri 08-Jan-16 10:39:47

How much should it cost to go privately? My PCT won't even start the referral process until I'm at least 36. So if it then takes another year to be seen then surely the delay would just make a bad problem worse?

sez1234 Fri 08-Jan-16 16:05:22

Really ? That's so bad sad i suppose i should count myself lucky that i can be reffered then,must be an area thing? Im not sure on cost to go private. I'm gonna ask if i ever get an appointment because i don't know who else to ask. However with all the test they do to rule things out . I assume very expensive sad.

sez1234 Fri 22-Jan-16 13:28:43

Just thought id reply, i went to the docters yesterday after waiting 4 months and still not heard anything. My referel as been sat at the docters for two months before they even sent it. Anyway i was told to ring them direct and they've give me appointment for feb and said they will ring if any cancellations. The appointment is also just for me which i thought was strange. .

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now