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End of the road before I've even started?

(13 Posts)
WhitMarie Tue 18-Aug-15 16:33:14

Me and my fiancé have been trying for a child now for almost 3 years.... and nothing! I was told when I was around 16 years old that I had PCOS and that later on in life I would most probably struggle to have child. Back to today and we are in that situation. We have seen the gynaecologist (about a year ago now) and they have told me the only way in which I can get help is to lose weight for me to be able to have clomid. But is 3 stone in 2 months really an achievable target? For me no its not. I've tried and tried to lose the weight. All these diets you hear of I think I've tried them all! For some reason it is just not coming off at all. I'm just fluctuating. I ave gone back to my GP and have to go to a dietician every 2 weeks to monitor my weight and prove to the gynaecologist its not coming off. I just feel like what should be the start of a wonderful journey is also the ending as I'm getting no where. Has anybody else had such aggro in trying to get things started? Any advice would be brill. I'm now starting to think that adoption is my ONLY option.

SurlyCue Tue 18-Aug-15 16:38:19

Who has said you need to lose 3 stone in 2 months?

WhitMarie Tue 18-Aug-15 16:40:29

The gynaecologist said that to me.... and if i didnt then i would be discharged and have to start all over again (which is what happened) :-/

PartyFops Tue 18-Aug-15 16:46:53

Can you excuse me from being too harsh ( I had to lose 3 stones to get pregnant). If you want a baby bad enough ( and believe me they are worth it) you will eat a lot less and exercise more. The weight will come off. Not in 2 months, but you can do it in 4.

Sorry, it's the truth. It sucks!

Good luck, I fell naturally after losing my 3 stone, whilst waiting for the Clomid prescription in the post.

JassyRadlett Tue 18-Aug-15 16:49:31

I'd ask for a second opinion / referral to a different gynae. I wouldn't have thought that rate of weight loss was either safe or sustainable.

UrethraFranklin1 Tue 18-Aug-15 16:51:44

I don't understand why you would say adoption is your only option if you have been told that weight loss plus clomid is a good possibility?
Of course you can't lose 3 stones in 2 months (and I'm sorry but I don't believe any doctor told you that you should or could do so), but you could in 6 months and then go on the clomid. Lots of women with PCOS get pregnant.

You sound defeatist and negative, I'm sorry to say. If you really want to get pregnant you will lose the weight, if its not coming off you aren't working had enough at it.

WhitMarie Tue 18-Aug-15 16:54:43

And that is exactly what I'm doing and getting no where! Ever since me and my partner discussed about having a child I went straight onto the healthy eating, joined the gym started back swimming and for the last year the weight loss has just stopped. Even the GP is unsure as to why it has stopped. There is no doubt of how much I would love to have a child, not one bit, and I would go to the end of the earth to do anything I could so that it could happen. Believe me I am trying.

SurlyCue Tue 18-Aug-15 17:00:12

The gynaecologist said that to me.... and if i didnt then i would be discharged and have to start all over again (which is what happened) :-/

If ive understood correctly, you first saw the gynaecologist a year ago and have had since then to lose the 3 stone but havent lost any so the gynae is saying they will discharge you as the conditions for clomid havent been met and arent looking likely to be as youve had a year already and not done it. They cant just keep wasting time on appointments with you if you arent even close to meeting the target. And they cant just say "oh well she isnt losing weight, we'll just give her the clomid anyway" this is up to you to sort, not the gynae to bend the rules! Im not sure what you expected to hear from them.

lugo40 Tue 18-Aug-15 17:22:17

i don't have pcos but i do understand its harder to lose weight when you have it? for that reason its great you are seeing a dietician. I think often in our desperation to lose weight we can actually eat too little and then not lose so the dietician should help with this. You actually need to eat quite a lot to lose weight so that you can exercise and your bosy feels safe enough to rid the fat. But its about eating the right things obviously.

Unfortunately they will not start any treatment until your bmi is under 29, regardless. Mainly because of the risks and also they have real trouble scanning for women with a higher bmi. I don't have pcos so i am different but i am overweight and have lost 2 stone in 10 weeks with slimming world - not starving myself at all. It can be done.

Good luck!

WhitMarie Tue 18-Aug-15 17:57:25

I don't expect them to waste appointments on me at all I lost 1stone and then the weight stopped. I came here to look for people who are in a similar situation not for people to tell me I am not trying hard enough. You don't know the person i am nor the stresses of my life. I am not looking for pitty but for advice and Deffo not to be pushed further back with my confidence. You wonder why I sound defeated and negative maybe it's because "professionals" and people like yourselves who say well clearly you aren't working hard enough always manage to push me a few steps back... when I am trying my upmost to do everything I can.

UrethraFranklin1 Tue 18-Aug-15 18:00:16

I understand you're upset but the fact is if what you are doing isn't working you need to do more, not just say it isn't working. Intensive exercise, low carbing, whatever it is you need to do.
You're looking for advice but you already know the score: you just have to crack on and do it.

FundamentalistQuaker Tue 18-Aug-15 18:06:12

You might want to check there is no other physical reason why the weight isn't coming off. have you had thyroid function checked?

lugo40 Tue 18-Aug-15 18:19:02

it sounds like your pcos is making it harder to lose weight. i have two friends with pcos who have eventually managed to lose weight for ivf. one did weight watchers as she found just low fat was enough but the other tried lots and nothing worked until she tried a diet that was very high fat and low protein/carb. i cant remember what its called but can look it up if your interested - i don't no the science or health behind it though but it worked for her. the PCOS does make weight loss more difficult so you have my sympathies - i struggle enough and i don't have pcos!!
also exercise wise try doing the high intsensity classes which are only half hour long as that burns fat quickly whereas ours in the gym can have a negative impact on the insulin resistance of pcos.
also have you read "ot starts with the egg?" that gives lots of tips for pcos and getting ready for treatment including supplements to take

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