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I've been sad for nearly 40 years about infertility

(7 Posts)
Backinthe1960s Fri 07-Aug-15 16:39:50

I'm 60+ now. My late wife and I were not able to have children and we never found out why. We had lots of tests in the 1980s but we never found out what the problem was. It still makes me sad that I never had the chance to be a Dad or Granddad. Dad died when I was little and Mum when I was in my teens but that wouldn't have mattered nearly so much if I could have had children.

Trooperslane Fri 07-Aug-15 16:49:53

I am so, so sorry.

I don't have any advice but I've been through the fear of it and it nearly ruined my marriage and my life.

We had a happy outcome eventually but after many years and we were only lucky because technology has moved on.

I don't mean to rub that in, op. I am just so very sad for you and felt I had to reply.

Hand holding and a hug for you both.

With love x

Ebayaholic Fri 07-Aug-15 18:51:58

I bet there are loads of families with no grandparents who would love you in their lives....have you considered an 'adopted' family?

Fettuccinecarbonara Fri 07-Aug-15 18:55:30

I was going to say the same as eBay above. My children have no grandads as they have both died recently. My little boy has hardly anything to do with men as a result (except DH obviously) and is painfully shy around them. I'm sure there must be space for an 'adopt a grandparent' somewhere?

Elsie212 Fri 07-Aug-15 22:23:03

Aw bless yousad

There is a big void and grief in your life, which has been made worse I susoect by the loss of your beloved wife.

I am so, so sorry you're going through this. It sounds like you have been trying to accept this for a long time.

Are you able to do some volunteer work?

I know a couple who got themselves a puppy to fill a space.

I wish I was with you to give you a hug xx

gabsdot45 Sat 08-Aug-15 16:42:09

Your's is a sad story. Did your wife feel the same way? I hope you have still had joy in your life without children.

Pearlmum1 Mon 10-Aug-15 21:49:19

I'm so sorry to hear that, I too hope that you have found some happiness despite what you have been through. I know a couple who couldn't have children and they have sort of adopted a family, a mum and her daughter. They meet every week, go to them for christmas etc..It makes them very happy. There's a lot of people who would love the company and support, not sure how you go about it but it must be worth a try? It's not nice at all that you've suffered that awful emotional pain for so long, I wish I could help. Have you been travelling or taken lots of lovely holidays, you need to really treat yourself xx

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