Grrrr impatiently waiting!!

(19 Posts)
lugo40 Wed 22-Jul-15 08:08:12

Just a rant really, husband has had two semen analysis which showed very low motility. Gp referred to urology and we have an appointment Thursday which is fab as only 5 weeks since referral. But husband doesn't really believe or accept the results so booked a private test on 10th July where you get same day results. When he got there they said they were busy so would post the results out the following day. Yesterday, having still not had the results he called them to chase. They said they would email it through. Which was shortly followed by a blank results from being emailed. He then called them again and they said a specialist would call him by 3 to give the results but if Havnt heard to call back again. At 3:15 he called them back and was met by a snooty administrator who assured him he would be called back that day. Anyway, you guessed it? No call back. We have the urology appointment tomorrow and he really wants to take the results with him as they were much more detailed. And we paid for it and I'm blooming pissed off.

bessie84 Wed 22-Jul-15 12:22:50

too bloody right you should be, how chuffing rude. chase them up today, give them hell fire down the phone. hope theyre better results, if not, hope your dh accepts whats happening, xx

lugo40 Wed 22-Jul-15 12:39:51

Thanks. He chased it this morning and they've now sent another form through with thr count on thier - very low- but all other info missing!!! They've promised to send through by lunch time, no bloody apology though!! I'm going to put in a complaint. It's put me right off private clinics, feels like unless you are paying for Ivf they don't care

bessie84 Wed 22-Jul-15 12:53:34

pfffttt, discusting, id definately put a complaint it.

lugo40 Wed 22-Jul-15 14:38:41

We have them now, and it's worse than the first two. Count is 0.1 when normal is 15 (10 to power of 6). And 0% progressive... 100% immobile.

Big swear words!

bessie84 Wed 22-Jul-15 14:46:39

oh heck, BIG SWEAR WORDS - what has your hubby said? urology will be able to retrieve it for ICSI. Hope your both ok

lugo40 Wed 22-Jul-15 15:20:03

he said "he's not confident in the result" i could scream. I know i have to just be patient as its a big thing for him to accept. To be fair i think how crap they have been has made him doubt them - he didn't need much of a reason to be able to say he also doesn't believe these results! i hope the urologist appointment tomorrow is good. This is all becoming a bit too real now and the reality of having to have ICSI is mad

bessie84 Wed 22-Jul-15 15:34:10

aaahh bless him, i feel for him. when my man got his results, he was sooooooooo laid back about it, and didnt give a stuff, which got me mad as hell..... now 4 years down the line with still no baby, hes finally accepted it and we;re on the icsi road. he used to be like "well, it happens for everyone else" will take time, for him and you too. its not a very pleasant road, everything takes soooooooo much time, its on bloody go slow, so its good that your seeing someone now and getting the ball moving. i think tomorrow it'll hit him hard... keep posting updates. hugs

lugo40 Wed 22-Jul-15 20:16:52

Thank you Bessie. I hope tomorrow goes ok too. I'm sorry to hear you are also on the icsi road - be good to see how you get on as sounds like we are on the same track x

bessie84 Thu 23-Jul-15 22:30:31

how did you get on, been thinking of you. hope your hubby is ok too

lugo40 Thu 23-Jul-15 23:17:29

Thank you. We saw a really nice consultant who has ordered more tests to see if the testes aren't producing sperm or if they just aren't getting through. If they aren't producing any we were told donor sperm is the only option and if they are then icsi and they will aspirate the sperm.

Hubbies is ok, says he will worry about it when were at the point of worry. I'm so sad about it. I love him so much and I'm feeling so guilty because tonight I feel angry with him that he's not more bothered that we might not have a baby. It's terrible of me and not rationale but I'm angry and very sad. I work as a health visitor and have been off sick for a few weeks- the thought of ever returning to that job fills me with panic tbh.
Sorry for late night depressive post!

bessie84 Fri 24-Jul-15 08:25:31

dont be feeling guilty, i was the same with my hubby, he wasnt bothered, or came accross that way, i think its just a man thing, he will worry deep inside somewhere, but because its not happening at this very minute, they shove it to the back of their minds.

i hope you get your tests soon and get to move forward.

as for your work, can you take leave? we started our journey 4/5 years ago when i was at uni to be a midwife (mature student) i couldnt do it, the placements with newborns/pregnancys really is hard, its unreal how much this trying for a baby lark affects you

bessie84 Fri 24-Jul-15 08:29:33

*r whole life and puts it on hold in so many ways, as much as you try not to let it. so i put it on hold thinking it'd happen sooner rather than later... years later, im still not doing my dream job until our nest is complete.

i even stopped watching OBEM. isnt it cruel?! and pathetic. and silly. and yet men seem so laid back, you'll see a difference in him when things get moving.

try and have some "you" time and even "you & him" time to talk things through.

i dont know what you can do with regards to your job. sorry, im not much help, but i just want you to know, your not alone in all this, even if you feel like you are.

(ps: pressed "post" on my last message by accident, before id finished writing)

bessie84 Fri 24-Jul-15 08:34:31

my hubby has low count and especially bad low morphology, had in on vitamins, no hot baths ect ect blah blah, and theyve improved slightly. so we did 9 rounds of clomid, 3 iuis and now moving onto ICSI. In that time we had one BFP, which was natural (after all them drugs injected/taken too!) but that ended in M/C, baby wasnt developing properly, something either to do with egg or sperm. sigh.

just think - on a positive note.... things ARE moving now.... your one step closer with tests and before you know it, you'll be having treatment. how does he feel about donor sperm? we had this conversation, he immediately blocked it out and said he'd think of that if it came to it. pah!

keep thinking of the positives, as hard as it is. things ARE moving forward for you both, the training of off.... good luck. sorry for my waffle. keep updating.

lugo40 Fri 24-Jul-15 11:39:11

Thanks for sharing, it is so good to hear we're not alone. I'm sorry you have been through so much.

I'm signed off sick at the moment and I've just written my notice to resign but now unsure if I'm being hasty. I just know I can't do the job while were going through this. I have 8 weeks notice period which feels so long.
I'm really low today. Have applie for some counselling and made another gp appointment. I know he didn't say we will need donor sperm but fact it's even mentioned has knocked me for 6. The chance of having our own child and being pregnant, having a home birth and breast feeding is all slipping away. And these are things I've spent my career championing and researching and supporting. How unfair is that!! Maybe I just need a few days to digest it and I be ok

lugo40 Fri 24-Jul-15 16:56:09

Bessie can I ask if you have any fertility problems yourself or is it your husband?

Ive resigned from my job today and found another to apply for so I'm feeling more positive. Life changes are what's needed sometimes

RooibosTeaAgain Fri 24-Jul-15 18:33:16

Doubt you wish to go private any more but might be worth looking up the work and services of Mr Jonathan Ramsay. A highly rated NHS and private urologist. London/Windsor based. You may find there are other options than donor sperm. We certainly have, thankfully.

lugo40 Fri 24-Jul-15 20:26:21

I guess we are quite lucky that the gp referred husband to urology already and we wee seen within 5 weeks. We had the appointment this week and seem happy with him so far. But, I have just looked up Mr Ramsey and he specialises in the exact problem by husband has so i think it will be more than worth an appointment to see him. Thats so helpful, thank you.

RooibosTeaAgain Fri 24-Jul-15 22:16:03

Hope whoever you see is successful. Yes definitely looking up consultants and what they can offer. I am unsure what the NHS itself can offer after diagnosis and ivf/ICSI.

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