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Are you ever made to feel guilty?

(2 Posts)
nineathena Tue 10-Feb-15 11:05:40

I already have a child. We're now starting IVF after 3 years of trying for a 2nd child.

Do you ever have people telling you that you should be very happy that you at least have 1 child? That why are you going to these lengths to have a second? That you should rather love the child you have and focus on them rather than trying for a sibling?

It sometimes feel like understanding and sympathy is not reserved for those struggling for a 2nd baby... As if the need and want and yearning isn't the same. sad

We're not telling anyone (bar my sister and BFF) of our pending IVF treatment. Purely because I expect much of the above. And I especially know MIL's feelings about stuff like IVF.

Have you experienced anything like this?

aphrodites Tue 10-Feb-15 13:40:11

You're not alone, people really do think once you have one child that any urge to have more magically disappears and that not only should be happy with just one but trying so hard for another is akin to saying your existing child is not enough apparently!

I'm afraid it's one of those things that you can only truly understand if you experience it, it's a shame people can't be more empathetic. I'm personally sick of people saying it's clearly not meant to be and that we need to 'move on' because it's not normal to be trying for so long.

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