struggling to cope with infertility

[sandytoes84]

Hi all,

I've been loitering for a while but after a rough couple of months really felt the need to reach out.

My husband and I have been trying for 2 years with nothing. Tests so far all normal, just waiting for hsg results though radiologist said all looked good. I find the waiting unbearable. So many babies have been born in this time and to compound everything my sister just announced she's knocked up from a one night stand (first grandchild for my parents-ouch!)

How do you cope? I'm so depressed I get no enjoyment from anything anymore. I've had a fulfilling life so far and it all led to being a mother. Now that isn't happening I don't know who I am anymore.

Had anybody been to their gp about the depression infertility causes? I usually cope well with life stresses but recently feel I'm not strong enough.

My husband is trying his best and is wonderful but I don't think he knows what to do. He can't fix the problem and that's hard for him.

Who else is in limbo? Big hugs to any of you floating aimlessly with me

[Clairej81]

It's so hard wanting a child more than anything and living from month to month or appointment to appointment and all around you seem to get pregnant so easily.

I used to avoid meeting up with friends with children and found seeing new babies so difficult. Everywhere I used to go people were pregnant or had just become new parents. Like you, tried for years to get pregnant and SIL got a BFP after one month of trying which was so hard to take. It's was nothing personal, I just want it so much and it seemed to come so easily to others, so totally understand your frustration and where you are. Looking back, I was probably quite depressed but never did anything about it but like you, DH was fantastic.

Have you looked into fertility treatment (IVF/ ICSI)?

I think a trip to your GP might help as it's always better to talk about things than let them build up and overwhelm you, they maybe able to put you in touch with a support group or someone who specialises in this field.

Also, have you got any family members or friends who have been through or had infertility issues, you will be surprised how many people have and they are good people to talk to as they understand what you are going through and can advise and reassure you.

Just try to keep positive and keep talking to DH. It's perfectly normal to have good days and bad but hang on in there.

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

www.infertilitynetworkuk.com/

I would contact the above charity as they have been set up specifically to help people with fertility problems. Family and friends can be over invested so not helpful. Also they do not always fully comprehend and say such nonsense like "relax", particularly if they are not subfertile themselves.

On a wider level what tests have you both had done to date (any test result now over 6 months old should be discounted) and do you feel that you as a couple have both been adequately enough investigated?. I can give you a list of tests that often get missed out if you want.

[victoria401]

Hi sandy you're story is like mine too. Ttc #1 for 2 years now too, tests on both of us mainly normal (dh has slightly low sperm morphology). Many people I know have had babies during this time, especially work colleagues. I've had to tell several people in work the truth about us because I couldn't bear the "you'll be next" comments any longer. Last yr when one girl announced I cried so much (not in front of her) that a senior member of staff had to drive me home!

For some reason things are getting easier now. I get down patches but I'm trying to make the most of what life I do have right now. I've been having monthly reflexology sessions,started yoga and started practicing mindfulness. Sounds all very hippy and I never imagined doing "mumbo jumbo" things like that! Lol! Its very relaxing though and makes you see your life differently.

We have another appointment at the clinic this coming Thursday and hope to get a date to start iui. Its very daunting and scary but its something we need to do. Are you being offered treatment?