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Very high chance husband is infertile :(

(7 Posts)
Messalina1 Mon 10-Nov-14 17:25:34

First of all, I wanted to say I'm sorry that my first post is seeking help and not offering it myself!

Well basically, it says it in the title. We have been trying for over a year and DH went to the dr for another reason and was discussing this with the Dr. she said it was a fairly easy test so he took a sample to the hospital to be tested. The results came back "inconclusive" so he did it again and the Dr. said there was no sperm and referred him to the urology dept at the hospital. He had the appointment today and the Dr. took one look at his testicles and said they were very small and it appears that they stopped growing and it's very unlikely he will have any sperm in there.

They've taken a blood test and booked him in for another appt in 6 weeks but it's pretty damning.

I really don't know how I feel about it, when I first found out it was a possibility I was shocked but not upset, I tend to be positive and think of the upsides so we joked that maybe we would have more money to spend on holidays. But today when he told me I feel like I could cry at any moment. More from the shock than I've actually considered what my future looks like without children.

I suppose I just wanted to get this off of my chest really and perhaps get some advice from someone who's been there?

Again, sorry that this is my first post - I was an avid bagger but didn't really transfer onto here. Just in need of some help really.

Thank you all xx

allchatnicknamesgone Mon 10-Nov-14 17:41:36

Hi. Sorry I'm not sure I can offer any advice up here, only to say that I completely do not trust those sperm tests where you do it at home then take them to the hospital. Did they not do a sperm test today whilst he was with dr - a test on site is far more accurate?

I didn't realise they could analyse sperm production with a blood test. Do you know what tests they are actually doing on his blood?

Try not to be hard on yourself. You are entitled to be weepy. Despite your positive outlook, you've had a hard knock and you need a few days to take it all in.

Hope the tests prove to be more successful than you hope and that there is some sperm in there they can use. Hope your DH is ok too, as from my experience anything that affects their manhood is hard for them to handle...

TheAwfulDaughter Mon 10-Nov-14 17:44:35

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Rumplestrumpet Mon 10-Nov-14 17:55:41

So sorry to hear this Messalina it must be devastating news for the both of you.

I would suggest you do some more tests to get a conclusive result - not something a doctor says after taking a glance at his testicles. As Allchat says, sperm analysis done on sperm taken at home can be unreliable, and I would not make any conclusions until at least two separate sperm tests had been done (sample taken in a clinic), ideally more than three months apart for comparison. You might also want to get a second opinion and, if you can afford it, a few tests at a private clinic could give you quick answers and ease the stress of waiting for NHS referrals. (You could then of course follow treatment on the NHS, if eligible, based on the information gained through private tests).

There are lots of possibilities if your husband has very poor quality sperm, and even if he has no sperm at all there are still plenty of ways for you to have a family together. But for now I would just focus on looking after each other and trying to be kind to yourselves. It's such a difficult thing to go through, maybe now is the time to plan one of those holidays you talked about?

Best of luck with it all.

naty1 Mon 10-Nov-14 21:33:37

Agree i have seen people get better results at clinic.
I presume blood tests were testosterone and LH?
Also it could well be worth seeing a private consultant.

Its worth thinking hard about donor sperm.

Its bizarre if things like low count can be identified by looking itd be great if gps would actually give men a checkup.
Well also that we ttc and may have no/ limited chance and could waste several years
I find it hard that we all assume we are fertile and can have kids but say i have pcos so it was always going to be difficult and this could have been identified when i was 20.

Bumpinthenight Wed 12-Nov-14 07:51:45

Hi so sorry you have had this news.

My DH was found to not be producing sperm (whilst trying for DC2) in 2 samples that he took to the hospital. He then had blood tests (for hormone levels) and then a testicular scan to see what was going on - poor blood supply mainly.

Long story short...

We were referred to a fertility clinic (private) but does do NHS and the consultant said he must be producing sperm as he had normal hormone levels. He did another sperm test (they put it in a centrifuge and spun it so all the sperm went to the bottom. Normally they test for eg. 1ml out of 5 ml so sperm could be in Other 4ml). There was some Sperm. There seemed to be a blockage in his tubes.

We went for ICSI, they tried to get sperm out using an injection but then had to cut some testicular tissue to retrieve it. Twice.

Would love to say that everything with us worked out but it didn't. It got shitty and now we can't have a child without donor sperm. So many ups and downs in a long process.

victoria401 Fri 14-Nov-14 13:15:43

Sorry to hear you've had this shocker of bad news hun, I know how this feels as we were given a diagnosis like this back in May this year. We went the next three months reeling in shock and the bottom fell out of our world. It took a while to come to terms with it and you need to grieve.

Our story took a wierd turn though as dh went for a second test in August and we got a very apologetic letter from the clinic to say they'd made a massive human error with his first results and the wrong data was entered in the report that went back to the doctors. We were too angry and shocked to be pleased that things weren't as bad as first thought!!! We still have mild male factor infertility and are on the waiting list for treatment.

During our "total infertility" period of time we discussed donor sperm and we decided that wouldn't have been for us. We couldn't get over the fact that the baby wouldn't be his and I didn't like the idea of having a strangers sperm inside me. This is a moral issue you need to be sure about and your clinic may be able to give counselling it for free.

Good luck with whatever the future holds for you x

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