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Sperm donor question

(21 Posts)
Seb101 Tue 25-Feb-14 21:35:28

Hi all,
My husband has very low sperm count. We've been told we'll need icis to conceive. We already have one child so don't qualify for nhs treatment. We have no funds to go private.
I'm basically devastated and trying to think of options.
My results have all been good, so the option of sperm donor has crossed my mind. I don't really want to try iui, mainly because its still very expensive and probably out of our reach. Now it got me thinking.... Why couldn't I just self inseminate?? My cycle is like clock work, I could pinpoint ovulation and sorry to be crude, but just squirt it up there!! Now I realise this might take many more cycles as you can never guarantee ovulation. But, I'm thinking just paying for sperm and then doing the rest yourself has got to be massively cheaper!??? No tests, no drugs, no scans, no appointments.
Now my question is; does this option even exist? Will a fertility clinic hand over sperm for you to self inseminate? Is there such a thing as a sperm bank. Has anyone done this? Cost? I obviously want to go somewhere where the donors are thoroughly checked so its safe. It's just I don't think I need iui to concieve from donor sperm, and even unmediated iui is expensive I guess? I think if I had sperm that I could inseminate, maybe 2-3 samples, over my fertile period, I'd probably get pregnant within a few cycles. No need for doctors, drugs and a whole pot of money! But I'm also assuming buying sperm ( god that sounds awful sorry) can't be that expensive...???
Any help appreciated.
And lastly this whole ttc journey has sent me to the brink of insanity. I have never been through so much emotional pain and torment, and I'm still relatively at the start. So please tell me if you think I've gone mad, and this idea is crazy. Seriously, I don't all together trust my own judgement right now. I'm just so desperate for a baby hmm

Shellster52 Wed 26-Feb-14 01:56:41

Don't worry, we're all probably a little crazy and desperate for a baby on here, so nothing sounds insane! My husband has poor sperm and I have thought in the past about trying to squirt it up there with a syringe in the hopes of helping the little fellas along!

The thing is, with IUI, they have to wash the sperm and treat it first because the semen is very potent and can't be squirted into the uterus. Also, the sperm normally go through a process called 'capacitation' in your cervical mucus which enables it to penetrate the egg once it gets there. So it definitely needs to be treated by the lab before it goes in your uterus.

When you say your hubby has very low sperm count, can I ask how low it is? My husbands first sperm test showed everything low - low count, low motility and 100% abnormal morphology (shape). I googled like crazy how to fix it and gave him lots of supplements. The count and motility went up heaps (am at work so don't have the exact figures to quote you but can get it if you like). Unfortunately the morphology is the hardest to change so that stayed at 100% abnormal. My friends husband had exactly the same prob and his count and motility also improved on supplements. So if it is just the count that is the problem, I would personally get your hubby pill popping the supplements! Is there a reason his sperm is low? How is he health wise?

My hubby is definitely a bit overweight and loves his junk food so I wonder if this is the cause of his sperm issues. I am about to undergo my 5th IVF and it is a bit frustrating that I am going through all this hell while I watch him eat crap and not exercise.

RandomInternetStranger Wed 26-Feb-14 02:00:37

Take a look at sites like coparents.co.uk and others. You can post your situation on the forum and search donors and get in touch with guys willing to help. You don’t pay anything but their expenses. I have had recent excellent success first time on there, the proof of which will be arriving in November! wink

NatashaBee Wed 26-Feb-14 02:06:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Seb101 Wed 26-Feb-14 08:24:00

Shelster; my husbands sperm count was 3 million. The others things were ok, pretty borderline. He's currently taking the fertilaid capsules that were recommended to us. So fingers crossed they help. I would be really interested in knowing your before and after supplements sperm results; if your happy to tell me. That would be very interesting. Husband is very healthy, good diet, doesn't smoke it drink, exercises etc. he's given up hot baths, bike rides and is wearing loose boxers! So think we're doing everything we can.

Seb101 Wed 26-Feb-14 08:24:47

Coparents.co.uk
I'll have a look, thanks

Seb101 Wed 26-Feb-14 08:27:18

My husband is coming around to the possibility of a sperm donor. It's not idea obviously and he would much rather find another way. I'm just struggling to find of options when treatment is so expensive. I think we'll maybe hold off and keep trying (let the supplements do there work!) and see what happens. If we're still in this position in say 6 months, we'll re look at the sperm donor option.

Shellster52 Thu 27-Feb-14 05:17:03

Seb101, I am at work now but will pull out his results tonight and tell you tomorrow smile

naty1 Thu 27-Feb-14 13:03:49

We had a much lower count 50 sperm per ul i think, 2 moving. I think less than 0.4m.
So 3m is loads.
We have a baby by icsi.
Although for ivf your own age and egg quality is more important than low count as they only need the number for the eggs.
I was 32 i think.
Look on the hfea site at the success rates (they are a bit behind think its for 2011)
It will cost us about 6k for icsi.

xxaussiebabyxx Thu 27-Feb-14 16:47:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shellster52 Fri 28-Feb-14 01:44:16

Seb101, as promised, here is hubbys sperm results before and after supplements:
04.12.12 23.01.13 Normal Ranges
Volume: 1.5ml 2.8ml 2 - 6
Count: 15 million/ml 26million/ml > 20
Motility: 13% 38% > 40%
Velocity: 22 microns/sc 36 microns/sc > 30
Morphology:100% abnormal 100% abnormal < 85%

Now that I look at the dates, the second test would have been only after just over a month or so of supplements. Unfortuantely, the supplments did nothing for his morphology which makes me think something is causing it? We haven't had a shower in a long time (husbands very slow at bathroom removations) and so he is only having baths - perhaps the heat is the cause?

xxaussiebaby, thanks for sharing. It offers hope in one way because it shows it's possible, but on the other hand it's one of those stories of 'when you forget it will happen' which can be frustrating because we don't want to give up hope and can't forget! Are you an Aussie too? Not many of us on here! Does your hubby still keep contact with his ex? I think that would pain me to no end if I couldn't have a baby with my hubby then he meets someone else and gets her preggers! Not long to go now then. Best wishes. Hubby must be thrilled.

Seb101 Fri 28-Feb-14 09:12:50

Thanks shellster; that's an amazing improvement in such a short space of time. Thank you for sharing, it gives me real hope that we'll achieve the same improvements smile)

xxaussiebabyxx Fri 28-Feb-14 18:02:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Seb101 Fri 28-Feb-14 19:45:48

Aussiebaby; thanks for the post. It really does give me hope, when most of the time I feel like there's none! sad(
In think I'm a bit of a pessimist really. I hear a story like yours and just think for every wonderful story of success there's probably 10 women who never get their miracle! I really need to give myself a kick up the back side and be more positive. All the negative thought really can't help matters! Gosh I hope and pray that my miracle will come..... thanks for your kind message xxx

surromummy Fri 28-Feb-14 19:57:56

Sorry no experience of buying sperm or iui but I can say diy insemination is very easy and I actually fell on the second attempt! The biological father had been told he had a low sperm count a few yrs ago when they had gone through ivf, iui etc but a further test by a different clinic a few yrs later revealed his sperm were normalconfused
If doing diy I would recommend using softcups.

Shellster52 Sat 01-Mar-14 21:11:09

That's interesting surromummy. Somehow, I can't imagine asking my husband to leave it in a cup so I can baste it up there! What are softcups? Is that what you do, kinda brush it up there?

Seb101, I hope the results made sense. When I typed it, I had the first results, the second results and the normal range in neat columns, but mumsnet didn't seem to want to post it that way! I think you mentioned that you have your hubby on a sperm supplement. I must say, that I had (and still have) my hubby on about 6 different supplements so it may take more than one!

surromummy Mon 03-Mar-14 23:00:43

No, use syringe then you insert the softcup inside you and leave it in, it holds everything up there as long as poss!

Shellster52 Tue 04-Mar-14 00:08:59

Oh, okay. So that's what the softcup is for. Well it obviosly worked for you!

RandomInternetStranger Thu 06-Mar-14 00:37:26

Softcup definitely works! I can vouch for that! And Preseed.

The softcup just holds everything right near your cervix so gravity doesn't pull it away.

Shellster52 Thu 06-Mar-14 03:31:51

Hello Stranger

I just used Preseed this cycle. Hubby actually has 100% abnormal sperm which is why we are having to do IVF next cycle. But I never get EWCM so thought I'd give it one last effort with Preseed just in case one good sperm makes the journey. Good to hear a success story with it so that at least I know it doesn't hinder the sperm and obviously worked in your case!

Now I just need a solution to how to get my husband of his fat behind to start exercising and eating healthy so his sperm will improve?!?! I would love for someone to give me an answer to that!

RandomInternetStranger Fri 07-Mar-14 22:57:56

Well the only thing that got my ex husband doing that was trying to impress the whore he started shagging at his office so I'm afraid I can't help much there but can you make it a joint effort or a challenge between the two of you? Would that make him more likely to do it? I know with my ex if I went on a health kick he had no choice as if I was cooking & did a big salad one night or didn't buy any beer or crisps then he'd have no choice but to eat that way too. Can you get him to join a dance class with you, or a gym or start running together or even just long walks. Set goals for both of you and winner gets oral sex or something?? wink

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