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Help! Just been told we will need IVF. Kind of freaking out!

(81 Posts)
Bunnygirlie Thu 19-Sep-13 19:33:27

Had first FC appointment this week and our consultant says that it's highly unlikely we will get PG naturally and will need ICSI.

A lot to take in, mixed feelings galore! Happy that we have a plan but so sad that it won't happen naturally for us, angry that my body is crap and stressed about the whole idea of IVF!

Would really appreciate any advice, experiences and hand-holding smile

MrsCakesPremonition Fri 27-Sep-13 20:25:21

Mint tea is very good at getting rid of wind and reducing the amount of shoulder pain.
I wish I'd known about it in advance - I thought I was having a heart attack until the nurse told me just how much gas they pumped in.

Bunnygirlie Fri 27-Sep-13 22:01:43

Ooh scary! Must remember mint tea then!

Blondeshavemorefun Fri 27-Sep-13 23:32:30

Are you on the list for lap and dye?can you ask to be on cancelation list?

Not to worry or scare you but also couldn't wee for hours afterwards and wouldn't let me go home till I did

Drunk 3 jugs of water and 2 cuppa and nothing sad nurse thought maybe my body was dehydrated and had absorbed the fluid but had a bladder Scan and was over 500ml in it sad which is very full but couldn't feel it or need a wee

Was worried as thought maybe a tear in my bladder (complication of op) and wanted to stick a catheter up me and drain sad as infection coz of dye - but finally managed a wee and went home about 9pm

Havnt eaten much today as full - again from gas

Also as had a blood clot 6 years ago they are worried I might get another one so I have to inject my poor swollen sore tummy every day for a week with fragmin - 6 to go sad

Sorry if not painting a good pic - hopefully your op and experience will be better bunny x

Bunnygirlie Sat 28-Sep-13 09:35:58

Thanks blonde we are digging into our savings and booking private so it should be very soon. I just couldn't wait till the new year, you know what waiting around is like!

Feel better soon! thanks

Blondeshavemorefun Sat 28-Sep-13 09:55:37

What does a lap and dye costs privately?

On top of £5kish for ivf sad

Ask how long list is - I was put on list beg July and got app 2mths later so lucky

Shoulder pain much better today tho I do ache from
Cuts think I'm a wimp

5 injections to go - tummy now has selection Of bruises

The things is woman go through - told dp how lucky he was that all he had to do was wank in a pot grin

Thanks for thanks

Bunnygirlie Sat 28-Sep-13 10:14:03

I know! Blokes get it easy! Although if we have troublesome swimmers his may need to be removed with a needle shock

We were told the waiting list is 16/18 weeks long which takes us into the new year. DH said to just do it, lucky we have savings, no new kitchen for a while lol. It's about 3k.

According to a friend the actual ivf wait in our area isn't too bad and we should get 3 NHS attempts so we are very lucky.

Kikibee Sat 28-Sep-13 10:20:14

I feel for you, I had ivf for my first, it was an emotional time, but it can and does work, keep strong and it will all be worthwhile in the end smile

Blondeshavemorefun Sat 28-Sep-13 12:06:04

3 nhs attempts shock envy

I'm thrilled for you but also so jealous / it's not fair. Everyone woman should be given one chance for ivf regardless their postcode or if partner has any children

Should be done on the woman !! sad

And £3k for a lap and dye. Omfg. That's lots

Bunnygirlie Sat 28-Sep-13 19:13:26

Thanks kiki

I know blonde I am very lucky (if it is correct) and it is very unfair for some!

anroga Tue 01-Oct-13 14:35:58

Thanks for your message redcliffe, wishing you lots of luck with your IVF it must be feeling more real now you are booking everything up - have you got to pay or are you getting it on the NHS?

I wish I could just get one try on the NHS, I am thinking if this 2nd cycle of clomid does not work to then start the IVF in the New Year if we can sort out the money side of it, don't feel I am strong enough at the moment to go through it this side of Christmas.

Thanks Bunnygirlie it is exciting but being a bit overshadowed by trying to conceive at the moment sad


anroga Tue 01-Oct-13 14:38:34

Any success stories of IVF working 1st time round (we have unexplained infertility) x

MrsCakesPremonition Tue 01-Oct-13 14:43:15

We only had one round of IVF to get pregnant (at the age of 37). I suspect that this was mostly because my endo meant that my eggs weren't able to get to the right place at the right time. Once the clinic made sure they were in the right place at the right time, it all went very smoothly.

anroga Tue 01-Oct-13 14:47:30

Thanks MrsCakes, I am going to be 37 in November, partner 43 in December - I wonder if it is something like that with us as all tests have come back ok after 3 years of trying to conceive. Thats good to hear, thanks again x

Blondeshavemorefun Tue 01-Oct-13 14:50:16

its not fair anroga sad we are the ones who cant get preg yet we cant get one chance of ivf nhs as of our dh/dp

its almost being penalised for falling in love with a dad sad and dp feels really bad about it as knows how much i want a baby and coz of him we have to pay

feeling much less sore now so all pain goes within 3/4days smile but trying to get my head round to find the money ie loan maybe but also if it fails then in debt of £5/10k and no baby

if i was told pay £20k and we will keep trying till you get preg then would remortgage etc but no guarantee sad

anroga Tue 01-Oct-13 14:59:24

Oh blondeshavemorefun I have exactly the same thoughts regarding the money and it not working. We have already said we will try to borrow the £5k but if it doesn't work we can't then borrow another £5K and have all that debt plus we are getting married next August so have all that to pay for.

My mind goes crazy thinking about it all!

What is the next stage for you? x

Blondeshavemorefun Wed 02-Oct-13 13:56:36

6weeks time have 6 weeks post op check and will discuss then, but guess go to a private clinic near me and start the ball rolling for ivf, so maybe in new year

found out my cousin who is 32, with new man for 3 ish years and is having ivf on nhs - seems to have got ball rolling quickly,as i ttc for over a year and went to go who said i was young at 34 and try for another 6mths then go back

anyway she lives 20ish mins from me and get 2 free ivfs on nhs

im so envy of her, seems so unfair that she has barely been ttc afaic and gets 2 goes where ive been ttc for almost 7years on and off and get fuck all

Flutternutter Wed 02-Oct-13 14:42:48

I tried for 5 years, including 4 rounds of IUI but I now have two gorgeous kids. Was it stressful - yes, BUT talk about it, on here, to friends, to family and to YOUR PARTNER! Honestly the more open you are and don't bottle it up, the easier it is. I promise it will be fine xx Good luck !

Did you know that 28th October is the start of National Infertility Awareness Week? I'm baking right now ! ! Every little helps xxxx

anroga Wed 02-Oct-13 16:54:58

Hi blondes I have just enquired today with my Private clinic and it ain't cheap thats for sure, I can get started whenever there is no waiting list but we have to organise the money some how?!?

I wonder whether to start in the New Year rather than before Xmas, New Year, new start, clear head etc

I can understand completely how you feel about your cousin it is just not fair, even if we were entitled to just one on the NHS.

I can't remember why you have been referred for IVF ours is because of unexplained infertility and the specialist said we could keep on trying but it depends on how much longer we want to wait (I am 37 in Nov and fiance is 43 in December and its been 3 years of TTC).

You just don't know what to do!?!?

Hi Flutternutter thanks for your lovely positive message. You are so right about talking about it, I have found this website a god send the last week or so, it is so lovely to chat to people who understand for once, however much your friends, family try they just don't understands especially when they all have kids or don't want them


Blondeshavemorefun Wed 02-Oct-13 17:10:55

Been ttc for about 7yrs on and off

Unexplained fertility and last week after lap and dye got told had blockage and scarred tube and as I'm old (at 40) to have ivf if serious about kids

Need to get my 6 week check over (waiting for app but guess be middle/end of nov) and then think over options and how to pay - well thinking about that now

Credit card

Are my options -prob a loan - £5k over 3yrs is £158 a month. Peanuts really - though course if doesn't work then what - take another loan out or pay off 2 loans or take out £10k

Dont know sad

So guess will start in early new year

Bunnygirlie Wed 02-Oct-13 20:04:38

My lap is a week today, and advice?

Blondeshavemorefun Wed 02-Oct-13 22:15:17

wow thats quick and what paying does

wax before you go if you dont normally or they will shave you, but i wax anyway

i was advised to take day off after off work, but glad my op was a thur as fri was very sore and also had sat and sun to recover , plus was sore monday as well, so thats 4 days off afterwards, but i do lots of lifting and bending as a nanny so couldnt even bend and put socks on, but if say work in an office prob be ok

hope you have good results smile

being told i will prob never fall preg naturally was hard sad

anroga Thu 03-Oct-13 10:22:28

Hi Blondes

I had a hysterosalpingogram done back in April came back all clear which was good but in a way you then think well what is it then when all your tests are clear.

I think we are both in the same position but have got to give the IVF at least one go, as you say £5k over 3 years @ 158-00 a month isn't alot and then at least we know we have tried otherwise you will always be thinking what if...

If the 1st round of treatment doesn't work I don't think we would try again with IVF purely down to the expensive (and I suppose also the stress physically and mentally) I know that sounds sad..

I am going to take it one step at a time I think thats all you can do and wait to see if this 2nd cycle of clomid has worked should know by mid October then I will decide when and how to move on with the IVF.

You get sick of thinking about it all don't you!

I think I might go for a glass of wine tonight to cheer myself up why the h*ll not!


MrsCakesPremonition Thu 03-Oct-13 10:57:28

BTW - they won't shave you. I've had two laps haven't been shaved either time but a good trim along the top edge might make it easier what with sticky dressings etc.

Bunnygirlie Thu 03-Oct-13 18:06:48

Thanks mrs no shaving sounds good to me lol

I am so nervous!

Blondeshavemorefun Thu 03-Oct-13 18:36:55

Where they cut you and then plaster goes on - on me if I didn't wax it would have been in my pubes so ripping plaster off would have been ouch sad

But as I said I wax anyway - even tho many think I shave as of my name pmsl

Wine sounds good and yes we are at the same stage roughly

Have to give it a go so least we know we tried

Bunny - the op itself I assume is ok coz I was out for the count but the recovery afterwards I found so sore for a few days

But today it's a week later and I'm fine - apart frown bruises all over my tummy due to injections

Thank fuck last one tomorrow

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