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Does other peoples pregnancies affect you, even when you don't really know them?

(12 Posts)
fionabeeb Sat 31-Aug-13 23:19:15

It knots my stomach in two when i hear of folks getting pregnant and in this particular case it's crazy I should feel this way as my friend's cousin who has just announced her pregnancy had to wait 4 years for IVF (having been trying for 12 years before that!!!) had twins through the IVF who are now 3 and is now expecting again having conceived naturally. I should be over the moon for her. I have a DS through IUI and am vexed at having to wait over 1 year on a waiting list for more treatment to try for DC2. I do feel blessed but selfishly want another so badly and hearing of this girl's pregnancy has made me feel sad for our situation and jealous. I hate myself for needing to have treatment and not having a functioning body. I have had weight issues since I was a child and it's the likely cause of my infertility and I blame myself. I am sorry this post is not all that helpful to anyone else but am I alone in this feeling that anyone else who falls pregnant is enemy territory. I want to avoid anyone who might possibly announce they are with child because it just makes me feel so upset, angry, frustrated and trapped.

SarahFx Sun 01-Sep-13 10:05:39

I feel hostile towards those girls who announced their pregnancies on Four Weddings so you're not alone. If I've learned anything since being infertile it's that nothing is rational.

Having said that I have a friend who tried for 9 years to conceive and eventually gave up and I would be over the moon for her if she did get pregnant. My friend who had ivf and had boy/girl twins though I can hardly look at as I'm desperate for my boy to have a sibling.

Just try to avoid Facebook and I hope you are just as lucky too.

twinklestar2 Sun 01-Sep-13 10:16:28

Yes. Kate Middletons one sent me into meltdown - both the birth announcement and the birth. Irrational I know but they got married the same time as us so it just highlighted the amount of time passed for me.

fionabeeb Sun 01-Sep-13 21:21:13

twinklestar2 it did me also. Don't know quite why either but I found it hard too watching her grow and look so happy. Best of luckx

Shellster52 Mon 02-Sep-13 05:17:56

Kate did it for me too! I got sick of it being on TV and changed the channel whenever it was on. I thought there must be many other women suffering infertility who are finding it hard having it put in their face too - glad to hear I am not alone.

Fionabeeb - I thought I was crazy feeling this way when I myself also have a child already. I thought I shouldn't feel jealos of other pregnancies because I have already experienced it while there are others who never have. Glad to hear you feel this way too and I am not alone!

UnicornsNotRiddenByGrownUps Mon 02-Sep-13 06:55:46

Yes. In an hour I have to see someone I know who is pregnant but apparently a little bit clueless about what this involves. Talks to me like I don't have a clue about anything. I am happy for her really but it's hard. When talking about another acquaintance recently she said that person was really worried as she has been trying for 5 months with no success and wouldn't you think you were infertile if you had been waiting that long? (And all sorts of similar comments). Aargh.

HorseyGirl1 Mon 02-Sep-13 12:33:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HorseyGirl1 Mon 02-Sep-13 12:34:35

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HorseyGirl1 Mon 02-Sep-13 12:35:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fionabeeb Mon 02-Sep-13 22:11:11

Shellster Iam so glad you replied. I really thought I was being unreasonable and selfish but I know deep down it's a maternal yearning.
Unicorns people have no idea. The things people have said to me. One woman I worked with commented when i told her I was going to see a puppy before DC1 came along, "Don't you think you should think about starting a family instead of a puppy litter?" An old neighbour I met today was saying how big my DS of 15mo was getting and "thought you'd be brewing another by now!" It's so intrusive. I had a smear test today and nurse was enquiring about my fertility appointments and saying "It mightn't be as long as you think." This feels like a kick in the face given I know from experience if anything it will be longer and how it just trivializes the feelings I am having. Glad we can have a group hug thanks

Solaia Sat 07-Sep-13 22:51:42

Yes I am finding this quite hard to deal with as well. Of course I'm happy for them, but two Facebook friends have announced pregnancies in the last few days, it seems like there is another one every week or two.

I just try to think 'I don't want their baby, I want OUR baby, even if I have to wait a little longer'

Also, you never know what other people are going through. Maybe those announcing pregnancies have had mc's or have been trying for a while.

I just get irritated by people saying 'oh you're far too young to be thinking about all of that nonsense...' Right, thanks for that helpful insight!

JustWant1 Wed 11-Sep-13 15:32:57

A classic I had was "don't worry; it will happen" you are not God so how do u know??! I'm feeling better about it now and feeling positive some days n rubbish the next. No one understands unless they have been through it themselves. I just want 1!! sad sad sad

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