Best Friend told me she is pregnant today....

[Figaro82]

My beautiful best friend told me shes pregnant today and I am over the moon for her, however its yet another painful reminder that I am not pregnant. I am currently signed off work due to stress following a miscarriage not that long ago (number 3 in 2.5 years). My job is also stressful so its not just this. Not been sleeping and having some scary panic attacks. I have a HSG booked in also on Wednesday. I feel like a bomb thats about to explode at the moment and I am not sure how much I can take.

She was so worried about telling me and I felt terrible for her as I never feel bitter about other people falling pregnant (unless they are on Jeremy Kyle!). I really am happy for her, but I have those conflicting emotions going on.

Sorry I know this is not a question, I just needed to type it out!

[che1182]

Hey there,

I too am off work with stress at the mo because of everything going on so welcome to the club!

I can understand how you feel, I was so jealous when y bestie was pregnant the first time and at that point I had no idea what I would be facing 4 years later! I was just jealous because I didn't want to lose her - silly eh. Now I love her little girl so much, and the 2nd one. It will be hard but you'll get through.

Love chell xxx

[ilikecooking]

Very well done for being pleased for her...that on its own is admirable. I am off this coming week as I was due to be in the 2ww of IVF. It was my last chance and I was told yesterday I didn't produce any follies at all.

My boss has told me to take the time off work anyway. We're strong, us girls. Hang on in there.
X

[Figaro82]

Thank you Chell and Ilikecooking! Glad to know I'm not the only one off with stress! I think because people can't physically see something wrong with you, they struggle to believe something is wrong with you!

Chell, 2 and a half years ago I had a MMC which I discovered at my 12 week scan. We hadn't told anyone except our parents that I was pregnant and the day after my other best friend called me to tell me she was pregnant. It was heart wrenching but I love her little boy so much!

I'm so so sorry cooking. I can't imagine how you feel. We are strong but there are times when we need to share the load! Xx

[petra27]

You sound like such a nice person.

I find it hard when people close to me become PG too, not because I'm jealous of them- I don't want their baby, I want my baby, but it reminds me of what I don't have.

I've lost 4 now in the last 2.5 years and I know what you mean about feeling like a bomb that is about to go off....sometimes it is OK to not be able to cope, I think.

I think finding it very hard and not knowing how much you can take is a normal, sane reaction to an extremely painful and stressful situation that no-one could handle without difficulty.

[Figaro82]

Petra, you are spot on with the jealousy thing. Sorry for your losses too.

I never in a million years thought it would take this long or be so hard. Saying that I'm still early on in my fertility journey. Ilikecooking, saw your other thread and my heart aches for you (slaps self for display of self pity) xx

[che1182]

Hey figaro,

Sorry to hear about your miscarriages, I can't imagine. I'm not even at the ttc stage yet and already we have problems that nobody knows how to deal with. I dealt with it for one month then all of a sudden everything came crashing down and now I haven't been at work for 6 weeks.
It's awful, I hate it, but my brain has no space for work related stress on top of my own. But I totally agree, when there's nothing physically wrong with you it's hard to accept you are unwell. I'm still struggling with that one, I'd never even had a sicknote until this year when I had my hysteroscopy/lap!
Hope you get some good news soon xxx