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Another IVF failure and relationships problems

(3 Posts)
Chocolatemolehill Sun 12-May-13 14:45:38

I've just found out that our third IVF attempt has been unsuccessful. Before that we had 4 IUIs and two miscarriages. Over three years of trying... I thought I was coping well with it, getting on with life (which is really difficult as we're doing IVF abroad and it's tricky to plan anything with the constant uncertainty of when I'll need to travel), but today I am surprised how much it hurts. Again.
And I feel so alone with it all. My husband (who already has two children from a previous relationship) is not being very supportive. We hardly talk about it. Today I got pretty much zero reaction from him when I told him about the negative test. I know it's different for him and don't expect him to feel what I do but is it too much to ask for some empathy and support? A conversation? A hug maybe?
Has anybody had similar problems? How did you deal with it? How do I go through treatment, keeping my relationship and sanity? Where can I get some support from?

Roshbegosh Sun 12-May-13 15:30:28

It is an absolute bastard to deal with, I am so sorry. We all forget that the successful ones are the minority. Does DH know how you feel?

lozster Sun 12-May-13 15:49:05

So sorry chocolate. I know how hard it is. Not trying to defend your husbands lack of support but I know for men there can be a lag time in feeling the grief as the period or test is not immediate to them. Clutching at straws here, but is there any chance you tested too early and it's worth another go? Sad for you and all the other women who go through what they do to try to conceive. Take it easy.

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