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I don't think ill ever have a baby.

(5 Posts)
Ouchmyhead Thu 11-Apr-13 00:20:46

I just need to talk I think, so this may be long and ranty!

My DP and I desperately want a baby, so much! I'm 24 and he is 29, we get married in December. We've been together 4 and a half years, and haven't used contraception for 4 years. I have PCOS and severe Crohn's.

Last year we went to a fertility specialist who did a small operation on me to remove the cysts from the PCOS off my ovaries, I had regular periods for a few months but they've stopped being so regular again now. My crohn's is really severe, in 2011 I had my large intestine removed and an internal pouch made, at the end of the month this internal pouch is being removed and ill be getting a permanent ileostomy. I've had so much major surgery done in my pelvis, I have a lot of scar tissue and I'm on strong medication. Coupled with my PCOS I can't see me ever having a baby and it makes me so sad. Every time we see our specialist he wants to start us on Clomid or IVF, but because my Crohns has been so bad it's always pushed back. This latest surgery will prevent me from having any IVF or treatment for 2 years.

I just feel like there's no hope, I feel a failure as a woman and a partner. Everyone asks of we'll be trying for a baby after we get married, I just laugh and say 'oh no not right away, we want to be married first!' to brush everyone off. All we want is a baby, and I just don't think we'll ever get one. It's so unfair, we've been through so much. My body is such a failure.

Barbarashop Thu 11-Apr-13 01:23:56

Sorry, I don't have any advice but I didn't want you to be ignored. I am sorry you're going though this and you are most definitely not a failure. I hope your surgery goes well.

chocolatehippy Thu 11-Apr-13 01:59:48

Have faith that it will happen. It may not happen as quick as you might like, but trust it will! A friend of mine was diagnosed with an auto-immune disease a couple of years ago and was told her chances of conceiving were very slim stroke next to nothing. She had around 4 rounds of IVF, all of which were unsuccessful. She had pretty much given up ever becoming a Mummy and went for one last cycle last year and BOOM! It worked. She was pregnant with triplets and gave birth last week to 3 beautiful little girls. It took about 5 years in total for this to happen but it happened. Get married, let your body heal and wait and see. Thinking of you

ilikecooking Thu 11-Apr-13 08:30:27

Please excuse my naivety, I don't really know much about your conditions, I just didn't want to read & run.

I am sorry if this causes upset - I really don't intend it to if I'm way off the mark. Could you consider freezing some eggs for the future? I don't know if this involves you stimming & if so whether you are in a position to?

Please don't feel a failure....ready my post in this infertility may give you a glimmer of faith.

(Titled Run out of Tears)

EchoDragon Thu 11-Apr-13 15:21:08

People can be incerdibly cruel without meaning to be. They never know how much a well meant question can hurt especially one related to fertility. I have been married six years this year and get oooh it'll be you next quite a lot. The fact is we are trying and so far 12 months in we have no joy. I am 34 and well aware of my biological clock ticking. Well meant comments hurt a lot.

Make plans, enjoy your wedding and the next two years. Don't view it as a waiting time or it will feel like forever. Use it to get healthy, have fun and enjoy life. Hopefully then it will go quickly and you'll be in the best of health and happiness.

Pls be gentle on yourself and try not to worry too much.

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