Sperm donar route

[Luckystarfour]

Would any couples out there who have taken or who are taking the sperm donor route share their journey with us.

Would love to PM any husbands and wives who have had to go through this difficult journey.

Taking this step is feeling incredibly hard :-( would love to know we are not alone!

[ilikecooking]

Count me in. I started the "Run out of tears" thread.

So it now looks like its a donor egg and sperm for us....shame the adoption rules were so inflexible and worked against us.

Happy to talk if you'd like to.....

[Luckystarfour]

So sorry I've been away from this thread.
Thanks for your reply :-)

How have you found the experience of selecting a sperm donor?

[ilikecooking]

Hi Lucky,

Sorry for the delay. I have been trying to avoid all things maternal during my dreaded 2ww.

I'm UK based so the law has changed things dramatically fro the worse. Our journey started about 15 years ago & we stopped pursuing as it seemed everything was against us. I was battling an eating disorder for decades, then work got in the way so we didn't make it a priority.

When we started on the insemination route about 7 or 8 years ago there was a very short supply. Our hospital gave us a choice of just 3 donors....THREE out of HOW MANY MILLIONS of men??

Each donor can create only 10 viable pregnancies then no more sperm from him is permitted to be used.

We did try the insemination but it failed a few times. Unfortunately I fell into a serious decline mentally & emotionally, my eating disorder returned with a nasty vengeance & it took another 7 years to fight it.

In the meantime, my fertility was in decline.

To cut a long story short, I am now as I said on the 2 ww awaiting to see if this round of IVF has worked. This time we only had a choice of TWO donors.

DH & I opted for the outdoorsy donor with our colouring. I wanted someone who was more up the scale on manners & social skills rather than acadaemia (sp) We rang our 2 local private fertility hospitals. They both only had 2 donors.

If this doesn't work, the egg AND sperm donor route is the only adoption aside from adopting. The waiting list for donor eggs at the hospital we used is 18mths.

[Luckystarfour]

Wow - you have been through an emotional journey.

I have everything crossed for you that this works.

In terms of egg donors - take a look at the thread under infertility - a friend - 'pocket' found her donor on this site really quickly and she is now half way + into her pregnancy.

As I say I really hope this works for you.

We are using Xytex for sperm donors - we haven't necessarily matched up on looks as we are open about the fact. We have also been told by our clinic now that they has stopped using uk donors as the quality of the sperm has not been as reliable as Xyxtex. (I think it's the lack of sunshine we get here in the uk :-))

How much longer of the two week wait so you have to go? It's such a drawn out time, I hope you are managing to find some nice distractions xxx

[ilikecooking]

Eye colour apparently isn't genetic so we went on skin-tone & hair colour. I don't care about factors such as that really, it just made sense. To be fair, the other donor was also of the same colouring.

I was always keen to go overseas for treatment but DH is extremely sceptical. He knows the hospital we used have tested for as much as they can do. Also, logistically, we couldn't take that much time off work.

I haven't heard of Xytex so I will google over the weekend. My test day is a week today. I'm working for a few hours today as I'm best if I keep busy & I return part-time next week.

[Luckystarfour]

Yep keeping busy does work - it's a long wait isn't it! My clinic tests by blood so actually I have finally reduced the 2 week wait down to about 8-9 days :-)

Hope the weekend passes quickly. I'll be thinking of you!!!

[ilikecooking]

I wonder if I could ask the hospital to test my blood? Not sure if you read my posts on other infertility threads yesterday but I'm not having the best time.

DH is home today so that will help. He was at work all of yesterday.

When do you start your treatment?

[happydazy1]

hi - if u consider donor egg and sperm could u also consider just adopting an embryo - eg one left from some1 elses fertility tratment
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snowflake_children
I read abt this and there must be loads of left over emryos that maybe couples might allow to be used by others?

[ilikecooking]

Happy - Sorry, by egg & donor I did kind of mean embryo, you're right. Ugh, mad days for me at the mo, I can't explain myself properly.

The hospital did say that a frozen embryo would be the best option, yep. DH is concerned as it would have a full sibling. This doesn't bother me in the slightest - I think that's a nice positive thing & no issue at all.

Lucky - I have been so ditzy that DH hid my car keys as he felt I was unsafe to drive. I don't know how I'm going to cope at work later.

Thankyou for your messages.
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