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Anyone know about delayed ejaculation? Sorry, probably TMI

(9 Posts)
Maybeamug Mon 04-Mar-13 20:53:33

Have name-changed for this! I've also asked this in Conception but I don't know if its more appropriate here.

We are TTC no2. 1yr and 2 mcs on we're no closer. I am having tests in case anything is causing the mcs. All the Drs say is just have sex 2 or 3 times a week and there should be no issue. I've told them that if dh knows the vital days then he gets 'performance anxiety'.

Which would be fine as I'd just not tell him, but he also suffers from delayed ejaculation so we may have sex 2 or 3 times a week but without the, err, vital element.

I'm getting sick of shouldering the burden of us not conceiving yet - when the Drs have talked about 2 or 3 times a week I've just gritted my teeth and smiled. Should I tell them? I'm sympathetic to dh and know how bad it must be for him but I'm starting to lose the plot over all this.

Iseeall Tue 05-Mar-13 18:56:37

Do the Doctors know about your husbands anxiety and delayed ejaculation, from your post it sounds as though you are keeping it from them?
Treating infertility is to investigate both of you so you must be honest otherwise you are wasting the drs time. Your husband could easily be treated, yes it may embarrass him but I hate to think of you having test after test for possibly no reason.
Back to the drs and be honest and if your husband will not go with you or speak up then you must.

Maybeamug Tue 05-Mar-13 20:23:43

thank you for replying.

No, I haven't told them, partly because I'm embarrassed for him and partly because it wasn't in my mind as the main problem. But the last attempt has reminded me that it's certainly a relevant issue.

I have a repeat gynae appt at the end of the month after they messed up my blood tests, I'll mention it then...

Iseeall Tue 05-Mar-13 20:33:08

I think the drs will have seen and heard it all before. I understand it is all very embarrassing but best to mention it sooner rather than later.
Good luck ttc.

goldbyron Wed 06-Mar-13 16:49:46

It may be embarrassing but perhaps when the issue is in the open and acknowledged this might actually help the performance anxiety. Otherwise it perpetuates the belief of your OH that it is something to be hidden or be ashamed about, which it isn't.

Maybeamug Wed 06-Mar-13 18:23:09

Thank you. I will mention it at my next appt. I'm climbing out the depths of despair gradually.

I'm not sure of any treatments to give a bit of a boost (apart from viagra which sounds terrifying!)

Dusty27 Sun 10-Mar-13 12:55:36

This is a bit of an issue for us, again mostly a performance anxiety thing. I'd definitely tell them. My DH has told his GP and she was lovely. There are alternatives to viagra as well so maybe try a few things & just try to enjoy it. I know how hard it is, if you're anything like me, you just wanna get on & "do it", worrying about them as well is another complication. Good luck x

Kafri Mon 11-Mar-13 16:22:01

Have you ever watched that programme Embarrassing Bodies? I''m not trying to be rude, just pointing out to you that really - every GP out there has seen it all. They're not going to be phased by DE. Your GP will have treated it thousands of times and to be perfectly honest, by the time they sit down to eat that night, will more than likely have forgotten half of the patients they have seen that day.

Go along and be honest - it really is your best chance and the best way of not wasting NHS resources.

Brian77 Tue 26-Mar-13 10:59:39

Not sure about Viagra as it has so many side effects, but Maxidus ( does a good job! Its natural

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