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How is this fair?

(10 Posts)
msrisotto Mon 25-Feb-13 13:54:14

Someone close to me has fertility problems that IVF would/should solve. However her husband has a daughter from a previous relationship who stays with them every other weekend. Because he has a daughter, they are not eligible for IVF on the NHS. It's like she is being punished for being the only one with fertility issues in the relationship!

Kerrigan90 Mon 25-Feb-13 14:28:38

In answer to your question it's not fair, its totally shit.

I can empathise with your angst I'm in the same predicament as your friend. My DH has a ds at 20 and 15 year old dd and has had a vasectony (now reversed). I'm 32 he's 39, but because he has kids from a previous marriage we are not eligible for IVF on NHS.

Your friends head must be in a spin, coming to terms with fertility problems plus worrying about sourcing the money for IVF as it is not cheap!! We're still debating 6 months on whether to risk IVF or adopt as we would have to remortgage! Its a nightmare, your friend has probably had her future of trying for kids mapped out then this huge spanner has thrown in the works. It's not as fun as baby making should be!

I hope all works out well.


franceherewecome Sat 16-Mar-13 15:58:31

Hi Kerrigan90 was just reading this thread and wondered if you could tell me a little about your DP and his reversal? How long was it from vasectomy to reversal and is it a failure of that or other fertility issues. If my partner and I decide to have a reversal he will be 43 and it is just over 3 years from him having the vasectomy. Thanks

Kerrigan90 Wed 20-Mar-13 19:19:41

Hi, we are saving up to get the reversal done privately, he is 39, but as it's been 9 years since the vasectomy we have been told that if its successful his swimmer are likely to not be strong enough to fertilise an egg so having sperm extraction (high success rate) done at the same time which the clinic will freeze and store for when we need it, this has a yearly fee. The doc had said at the consultation that the success rates are better the shorter the time gap is between the vasectomy and the reversal.

franceherewecome Thu 21-Mar-13 09:11:14

Thanks kerrigan90 and wishing you the best of luck

Bodicea Sun 24-Mar-13 16:46:36

I had a friend who was accepted for IVF in Manchester area on nhs despite her husband having a son already. Liverpool turned her down for the same reason. Can she not try different trusts? They all have different rules and patient choice allows you to pick any now.

ScarlettInSpace Sun 24-Mar-13 16:49:13

It is a postcode thing, my PCT only takes into account RESIDENT children...

Lolapink Wed 10-Apr-13 03:46:52

Unfortunately IVF is a postcode lottery, we got one nhs funded go, which I am grateful don't get me wrong. But some people get 3 goes. It makes that one go full if even more stress.

Viv77 Wed 10-Apr-13 09:38:59

I'm in the same boat as your friend. I'm 35 and my husband is 34 neither of us have any children and under the borough we live IVF funding has been cancelled they carried out all the investigations and I was given a fertility drug for 6 months but after that we were told you'll have to go privately. The sickening part about all of this is that if we lived 10 minutes down the road we would be elligible for 3 cycles with no waiting list. It seems all the boroughs bordering where I live give at least 1 free cycle. I've written a letter to my MP about this postcode lottery system and about the pain it causes and I'm waiting to see what she comes back with but to be honest I'm expecting the same old dribble about government cutbacks etc etc. I'm not expecting a reply saying that IVF funding has been granted for us but if it can help towards getting things changed for other couples who find themselves in this awful situation then it will be worthwhile as I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

givemeaclue Thu 18-Apr-13 18:44:43

Similar to Viv we had no children but postcode lottery meant no nhs treatment. We had 4 Private cycles all worth it the end as have twins. It is a hard situation for people when someone else gets free treatment because they live in a different street.

Op, for your close friend she can still have treatment but would need to pay for it

Hard situation

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