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9 years trying maybe its time to give up

(9 Posts)
Stressedoutmomma Mon 17-Sep-12 08:18:17

So I have a daughter who is now 10 I've been married for 11 years.
I have been ttc for past 9 years have been down the clomid route had the laparoscopy and ovarian drilling
Now that I have accepted maybe it's not meant to be and started to move on and look at other things like maybe goin back to college or uni.. And I'm 10 days late with backache and sore boobs to scared to even think of doing a hpt as if it's negative then that will probably just upset me. What do I do all suggestions welcome..

DeepPurple Mon 17-Sep-12 09:47:05

I don't have any experience but didn't want your post to go unanswered. It's up to you if you do a test. May be it's better to know one way or the other? If it's negative then you'll still be in the position of accepting it won't happen. If it's positive then you'll be thrilled.

How would waiting to do a test make you feel? If it's just going to get your hopes up then you'll feel worse then.

I would do the test.

Good luck.

3kidz Tue 18-Sep-12 18:46:57


I have heard that when people stop actively trying and concentrate on other things that they do conceive I am sat here typing hoping with all my heart that's the case with you

Whatever the case do you think it would be better to know one way or the other? Really is up to you hun but keeping my fingers crossed for you xxx

Stressedoutmomma Wed 19-Sep-12 21:11:52

Hi DeepPurple and 3kidz
Thank you both for your advise and for answering the question for me.

Well I was too chicken to do a pregnancy test and I don't need to after all as I have just come on about 12 or 13 days late..
I suppose if im honest I already knew I was just late not pregnant.. I'm ok really just feel numb I suppose I don't really have an excuse not to go running or get some exercise or actually start that diet.. Lol anyway thank u both again

3kidz Thu 20-Sep-12 12:51:15

Ah so sorry it is a horrible feeling when there is that glimmer of hope then it's taken away ((hugs)) xxxx

StaceymReadyForNumber3 Thu 20-Sep-12 12:54:08

stressed sorry it's been rough for you.

I would say relax, get on with life and enjoy! Many people I've known have stopped trying and fallen naturally.

Good luck!

carriebella Mon 01-Oct-12 15:05:33

Hi, sorry to hear that, i'm 6 years in now myself ttc my second, my son is 8 now and have had a couple of times when AF is late and I thought this must be it.. but no, ended up just being late - it's quite soul destroying isn't it.
Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, long time trying really takes its toll, and sometimes you feel like the only one, its great that you are coming to terms with it now and trying to move on, its good to have another focus, I wish i was at that stage, life seems to have passed so quick these last few years and i feel i've missed them being in this ttc rut!
Anyway,Good Luck, I hope for you and for me it will work out in the end x

ggirl Mon 01-Oct-12 15:11:57

hi Stressedoutmomma , I know how you feel. I had 10 yrs of trrying for my 2nd after 4 yrs of treatment to have firstborn dd.
Amazingly I got pregnant and ds was born when dd was nearly 11 !
So it does happen.
I had given up all hope tbh.
It is heartbreaking .

Stressedoutmomma Sun 07-Oct-12 11:42:39

Hello ladies sorry I've been acting like my usual stressed out self lately and haven't been online to see if anyone had written on this post.
Thank you all for your lovely words and for your kind thoughts and wishes
I honestly think that it is best for me to start moving on now and start finding other things to occupy myself with.. I feel guilty that I've concentrated soo much on ttc that I have let caring for dd slip a little bit..
Thanks again girls its lovely to just say what I need to ad know that I'm not being judged by anyone...
Big hugs and kisses to u all

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