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(14 Posts)
violetwellies Mon 10-Oct-11 12:00:05

If this is not the right place.
I have a dc.
I am an older mum, & gave birth 5 1/2 Yeats after starting ttc.
I spent a lot of my pregnancy working out how many dc's I could fit in before I was 50.
I had 5 scandal due to my age / breech.
I had a CS as dc was breech.
The scandal had failed to show I was placenta precise & acreta.
I haemorrhaged and they performed a hysterectomy.
I am devastated.

violetwellies Mon 10-Oct-11 12:01:05

Scans not scandal obviously

violetwellies Mon 10-Oct-11 12:02:22

And placenta previa bloody iphone.

LissieLovettsDeliciousPies Mon 10-Oct-11 12:02:58

oh sweetheart, how awful! how long ago did this happen?

violetwellies Mon 10-Oct-11 12:08:33

Dc is 5 months. I go to a group & last week there was a brand new school. I sat cudding my dc and sobbed.

violetwellies Mon 10-Oct-11 12:09:30

Brand new dc fecking Iphone.

LissieLovettsDeliciousPies Mon 10-Oct-11 12:14:52

you poor thing. you are grieving for the life that you wanted. have you been referred for counselling?

violetwellies Mon 10-Oct-11 13:24:26

The consultant wrote to my Good asking for counselling, but there is a long waiting list.

violetwellies Mon 10-Oct-11 13:25:04

Wrote to my GP

ducksinarow Mon 10-Oct-11 14:07:15

So sorry to hear that you are going through this. Having your dreams snatched away in such cruel circumstances is hard. I hope that you are able to get some counselling soon, perhaps your GP can get you seen soon.

In the meantime, do feel free to vent here, although most women here are struggling to overcome fertility, I am sure that we can empathise on some level with your pain. I don't know if I will ever have another child, but I know I can keep trying at the moment if I chose to do so. I know that I would be very upset to have that choice of trying taken away from me in a permanent fashion.

All women eventually have to come to terms with the end of their fertility, but when it comes suddenly and unexpectedly it is harder somehow.

Are you coping with the physical side of the hysterectomy? Did they leave your ovaries? Is there any chance of you having a child with a surragate or would this not be an option for you? If you want to talk through any of the above, then we will be a sounding board for you, or if you just want to vent the emotional pain then here is a good place, as we are all using this board to do just that.

Whatever you do, be kind to yourself, you have been though alot and having a young baby is hard too.

violetwellies Mon 10-Oct-11 20:13:38

Thank-you I was told my ovaries are in good condition and left in, the last consultant I saw suggested surrogacy, but I know nothing about it and Dp reacted with horror.
He days we are very lucky to have a child. I should be grateful, I am grateful, I love my child. I loved being pregnant, despite being ill. I wanted to do it again, and just feel very very sad that this will be an only child.

HerdOfTinyElephants Mon 10-Oct-11 20:25:16

Oh you poor thing. The placenta praevia and accreta alone would be such a traumatic experience in itself, let alone the physical shock of a hysterectomy, let alone losing your fertility all in one fell swoop when you were planning more children. and dealing with that on top of the hormonal, physical and emotional rollercoaster of a newborn -- wow.

I have a friend who has a surrogate pregnant with her baby at the moment (she's on MN too, as it happens, although not a prolific poster). They are in the UK but going with a US surrogacy agency as the legal position is clearer there, but it is hellishly expensive.

violetwellies Mon 10-Oct-11 21:18:58

I thought that surrogacy was expensive - unsurprising, its probably cheap if you work it out as an hourly rate. I suppose I'll just have to get a grip and be a bit more grateful smile

HaveALittleFaithBaby Fri 14-Oct-11 16:31:28

Oh Violet I'm so sorry to hear your story. Please don't push yourself to 'get a grip'. You've been through a hellish time and you are grieving. You feel how you feel at a time like this. I think counselling may help but in the meantime just look after yourself and process what has happened.

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