Is this normal?

[FlorenceW]

Hi All

This is my first post, I'll try not to ramble! I actually feel like a bit of a hoax even being on this website as I'm not a mum and am unlikely to ever become one. I was told a few years ago that I have PCOS, at the time I had a partner who was supportive but we've since split up. I am now 26, single, no hope of finding 'the one' anytime soon and I'm desperately worried that my time is running out! At the risk of sounding overdramatic, my thoughts of full of the life I always wanted but is gradually seeming less and less likely, I have always dreamt that I'd have children fairly young (as my mum did), all my friends are having children (even the ones who always said they wouldn't) infact, one of my best friends now has three children at age 27!

I have a confession to make about the reason I ended up on this site, I was looking for a third birthday present for one of my close friend's lovely little girl, obviously I ended up on websites like Mothercare etc, (here comes the embarrasing bit) I always seem to end up looking at nursery furniture, prams, clothes, maternity clothes etc and WISHING that it was me... I'm ashamed to admit that I seem to find this addictive and continue to torture myself on various websites looking at everything from highchairs and bottles to car seats and monitors. Even support sites for people with PCOS get the same treatment, instead of reading threads relating to how to manage my symptoms, I look at the threads about people who are pregnant, birth stories etc. Instead of deriving encouragement of hope from these posts, I feel bitter and jealous; but I can't stop. I really really do realise how crazy this sounds, I'm generally very sane I promise. I suppose I just wanted to confess, to anyone (imagine if I told my friends I imagine they'd have me sectioned!).

Has anybody else felt so utterly hopeless that they dont quite know how to deal with it? How do you learn to cope? I dont want to feel like this any more!

Sorry for the long post and crazy ramblings!

FW

[AlpinePony]

Hello. I didn't want this to go unanswered. I split up with a long-term lover when I was 34 and started looking at adoption/fostering/options not believing I would meet someone 'in time'.

I am now 37 and we (new bf) are expecting our second.

All I can say is that if children are going to be important in your life, don't hesitate to tell your bf this. Ok, don't RAM it down his throat on your first date, but don't wait 2 years to broached the subject. I decided to bosh early because if he didn't want kids I was going to find someone who did!

As for pcos, medics in my country recommend low-car eating for fertility issues related to syndrome x diseases. Furthermore, Mumsnet is filled with 'pcos mums'.

Welcome!

[GwendolineMaryLacey]

Hello and welcome :)

Firstly, MN is full of people who aren't parents for whatever reason so don't worry yourself about that! :)

Secondly, I think it's entirely normal to become completely absorbed in something that you want. I certainly do it, I think we all do to some extent.

And thirdly, the obligatory story of hope... A close friend of mine is 30. Three years ago she was you, no sign of 'the one', very severe PCOS, had loads of trouble with it and resigned to no children. She's now married to a lovely bloke and at the moment she texts me daily, nagging about how fed up she is with the weather because she's 30 weeks pg and overheating :)

More helpful people than me will be along soon but I just wanted to say hi :)

[HaveALittleFaithBaby]

I'm here simply because we're struggling to have a baby (nearly 2 years of trying).
I'm sympathetic about the pcos. try not to lose hope of meeting someone just yet. It may not seem it right now but you're still young! I didn't meet DH til I was 26 and I thought that was fairly young!
It's sensible to be practical with the pcos, make sure you're a healthy weight, keep track of your cycles, keep in contact with your GP. Having the pcos diagnosis doesn't necessarily mean you will have trouble conceiving but you'll be prepared if you do.
Have you considered counselling to deal with these feelings?

[thaliablogs]

PCOS does not mean you will never conceive, but it makes it much harder. At 26 you are stlil young, so don't give up now. Of course we all understand obsessing about prams and cots, we've all been there (at least I have!).

When you find someone to have children with, you can look into treatment options. Until then, HALFB is right, keep yourself at a normal weight, don't let your cycles get too long (get GP to prescribe prometrium if you aren't ovulating to make sure cycles are vaguely regular).

hang in there!

[MoonlightDreamer]

@FlorenceW yes I completely feel your pain. I have quite a severe form of pcos and we've been trying to 18 years to have a baby.
Pcos in itself dosent cause infertility.
The problem with pcos if your not having regular periods then your not ovulating . Most women do well with medication. Are you having regular periods ? Also get your blood sugars checked. There's medications like metformin to control blood sugars and clomid to induce ovulation. I managed to get pregnant last year at 37 but miscarried.
I'm having a transfer tomorrow ( we did ivf) not because of pcos , we have other issues including tubal issues and male factor . It can definitely be overcame and your only 26. Your time is NOT running out