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I know I'm not supposed to be here but it all seems to be going off right outside my door right now.

(35 Posts)
Flossam Sat 23-Jul-05 12:46:54

Barking Station has been closed, everyone is being evacuated, I was about to go there to get the overground to Lakeside, when I left I thought no - where better for a bomber than a busy shopping centre on its busiest day of the week. I will walk to Ilford, loads of people milling around, things just didn't feel right. Decided not to bother going to Ilford even, just take DS to the park. Got outside, still loads of people, one old chap stopped me and told me not to go because they think there is a bomb at the station. I know it is most likely a false alarm but this is really reealy getting to me. I want to get out of London, like, now and go and stay with my parents. Nothing on the news about it either, which is probably a good thing, but still I want to know what is going on. I overlook the tube line here. I'm sorry but I need to rant, my parents are out, DP is in bed on nights and won't want to go over all this right now - bearing in mind all the goings on it is even more important right now that he is able to function well at work. This really is doing my head in.

noddyholder Sat 23-Jul-05 12:50:02

Flossam I don't have anything to say really apart from how sad this is for everyone esp Londoners I just wish it would all end (not likely i know)Could you stay with parents/friends even for a day or 2 to get some perspective?

Flossam Sat 23-Jul-05 12:51:54

I'm supposed to be going down there in a week. But I'm also supposed to be travelling in three days next week, I know I am being OTT but I'm shaking. Came back in tears.

Heathcliffscathy Sat 23-Jul-05 12:55:09

Flossom, I know i may be the wrong person to post after last night, but i'm really sorry you're feeling as scared as you are.

I agree with noddy, maybe you should get out of town for a couple of days with ds? I feels awful at the moment, but you know in your head that the likelihood is that you won't get injured or die in a bomb, maybe a couple of days out will make it easier for your heart to feel that too.

noddyholder Sat 23-Jul-05 12:57:38

I would be shaking too if it was right outside my door I get an overwhelming feeling that the country is under threat every time I look at the news or the papers.You are completely normal in your reactions.Do you have to go to work next week If not could you go to your parents early and just chill out for a while until things calm down a bit?I think the police are just being extra vigilant atm and investigating everything that seems suspicious xx

PeachyClair Sat 23-Jul-05 13:03:36

I really feel for anyone in london, or indeed and big city, right now. I'm not surprised you're worried Flossam: bad enough it's yourself, let alone with a child too, it's only natural that you feel shaken, a shock reaction no doubt.

if you can, get a break like everyone else has said, but if not just look after yourself emotionally, and remember we're all thinking of you, and indeed anyone other londoners at the moment.

Flossam Sat 23-Jul-05 13:22:55

I had a nightmare in which I was there untill the helicopter landed, and then it was like I wasn't there anymore. I think this has had a big effect on me, and the fact that strangely I still felt safe in my local shopping centre.

PeachyClair Sat 23-Jul-05 13:34:45

I think the only way you can cope with this sort of thing is with the 'it happens to other people approach'- and when it happens somewhere you nearly were it blows that out! So there's nothing remotely strange about your reaction imho.

It's always worse when they're on nights, why is that? I only ever seem to get bills I can't pay / bad news etc etc when DH on nights! And it may be me, but I find it worse so when (seemingly, I know it's not true) the rest of the world is off galavanting in their little family units on weekend away days.

Flossam Sat 23-Jul-05 13:40:48

Yes PC. Also I feel a bit of a prisoner. Other than popping over to the garage across the road DS and I have been stuck in for 3 days now, originally waiting for a buggy, although I cancelled a trip I had planned for yesterday afternoon without DS as I'm obviously a wimp. Today, now though, it feels like staying in has been enforced on me and I'm not liking it at all. Perhaps once DS has had a sleep and I have chilled I will go back out and take him to feed the ducks and go on the swings for half an hour. I'm sorry for being such a drama queen but I still would like to get out of here - the shifts I have booked are cancellable, although I would be awful for doing it really.

PeachyClair Sat 23-Jul-05 13:43:47

Why would you be awful? Isn't that the whole point of cancellable shifts/

i find staring at the walls (something I do a lot as DS1 has sn) worsens anything anyway, so when something is genuinely scary...

If you get a chance, get out and about, a bit of normality might make a huge difference?

Flossam Sat 23-Jul-05 14:09:17

Because I work in a central London hospital as a nurse. If these things do continue, I will be needed. If I cancel, I am not really carrying out my duties, I am putting myself before others when I shouldn't.

PeachyClair Sat 23-Jul-05 14:21:26

Ok, didnt realise you were a nurse. Did half nursing training before chickening out (we were an experimental p2K class! Started 52 in group, when I left 9) so I see what you mean.

Only you then can decide whether you're up to it.
But things might have calmed down by then? either that or at least being in the thick of it you'll feel in control (works for me everytime! sounds silly, but the closer I get to the centre of anything the less scared I am).

Flossam Sat 23-Jul-05 14:26:10

Thanks PC -once I am there I will be fine. Went in the day after the first attack - and I did find it very stressful, but fine inside, got upset when about to get back on the tube on the way home and had to make a run for the loo! I am a stress head. I might even be cancelled. Who knows. Just feel fate has been kind to me in many ways so far and am worried my luck might run out.

Would you think of going back to training? Its a bit better than P2k I think now! I'm glad I finished it.

PeachyClair Sat 23-Jul-05 14:40:05

Glad you seem to be feeling a bit better now, hope all goes OK.

No, won't go back to training, start a degree in world religions in September, then want to teach, have worked in every job from carer to admin, Customs Officer to fundraiser,ended up as Home Start Organiser!
Liked doing the training parts and the social worky stuff, big interest in Race Relations and religion, so deffo way forward for me I think. Glad they improved the course though! A week work experience on a radio station reception not what i wanted when I went ito nursisng!

Flossam Sat 23-Jul-05 17:08:24

Eh? PC a weeks radio reception experience? really?

PeachyClair Sat 23-Jul-05 20:58:20

Yep- and that was coz they coldnt get me in with the national trust wardens. Seriosuly. It could be anything, as long as not related to healthcare. That was before I went to a hospital! Then it was a year observing. After 18 months had done zilch, not a jot, not even allowed to talk to a patient.

ya see the problem??

Flossam Sat 23-Jul-05 21:07:43

Erm, yes! The biggest issue I think I had was always being 'included in the numbers' ie not supernumery. I remember one sister, my mentor, just basically used to be pleased I was on then go off into the office and leave me to run half the ward! Did get a brilliant report at the end though. Oh and a crappy nursing home placement, being bossed around by the old bag of an HCA, to clean out all the bins as one example

PeachyClair Sat 23-Jul-05 21:12:11

I had a week playing chess (?) with alzhemiers patients, that did it for me in the end, when the Sister complained about my board game skills- interpersonal / intellectual fine apparently, but not my board games. ??

Flossam Sat 23-Jul-05 21:14:19

PC PMSL, I hope it was their long term memory affected by the alzheimers!

PeachyClair Sat 23-Jul-05 21:25:37

Oh but didnt you find your ludo skills a use in your career then?

Flossam Sat 23-Jul-05 21:29:53

what you mean during our extended lunch breaks? Or when all the other patients have been sent home well by lunch time to fill in the time before the end of our shift? I have to say actually, in ITU it's invaluable!

PeachyClair Sat 23-Jul-05 21:34:18

Gives you something to do on those quiet saturday nights in A & E I guess!

WestCountryLass Sat 23-Jul-05 22:20:47

(((hugs)))

I live in Bristol and we had the annual regatta today so the centre was chockablock and I was concerned as we cannot afford to rest on our laurels and thick it won't happen here but we also have to live our lives. DH wanted to go off and get some food and I would not let him and said if we were bombed we should all be together

It is so scarey

Flossam Sat 23-Jul-05 22:39:57

WCL, I came here from Bristol and desperately want to get back there. DP might be able to transfer within the next year we are hoping. I want to be at the waterfront

PeachyClair Sat 23-Jul-05 22:45:06

Hey, DH works in Bristol, I come from Somerset but live across bridgwe now. Small world- all roads lead to Bristol! I worry about DH working at Cribbs.

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