Grrr Radio One News - HUSBAND!!!

[FlameWithTooManyHormones]

I may () be hormonal but it is really starting to piss me off.

Stephen Gately did not have "a partner". He was married. They keep saying "His partner who he married in....".... therefore it is his HUSBAND!

Grrr.

Feels like they are lessening the relationship somehow.

[serenity]

There was another thread on this Flame, and apparently, legally he wasn't his husband - they weren't married (we don't have same sex marriage in the UK), they had a civil partnership so 'partner' or 'civil partner' is accurate. It isn't less, it's just different.

Sorry. hugs scary hormonal woman

[FlameWithTooManyHormones]

Then they shouldn't use the phrase "they got married" grrr

[bigchris]

Yes they should just say 'his civil partner'

[NyeEve]

he wasnt married.
he had a civil parnership

tis not a marriage

[FlameWithTooManyHormones]

then they should stop saying he was married!!!

stop interchanging terms and it wouldn't be an issue

[NyeEve]

i think flighty
you should care less.

[NyeEve]

lol
flamey

a flighty flamey

[ErnestTheBavarian]

Elton John,w ho probably has strong feelings on this topic, also refers to him as his partner. Tis the correct term, so treat yoursef to some chocolate or summat. (soothingly strokes hair)

[DailyMailNameChanger]

I have had my say on this subject a lot recently (well in the last 24hrs) so I was going to just read and click away on this one however I just couldn't resist this one...

Ernest, just because a person is passionate it does not make them the authority on the subject and the fact that EJ chooses not to use the term Husband does not mean that everybody else in a civil partnership would not want to! Infact SG refered to his "civil partner" as Husband on a number of occasions.

Something that may be legally or technically correct is not always the term that is or should be used in a day to day sense.

[FlameWithTooManyHormones]

I don't see how they can say he got married one minute (if it isn't "marriage" according to you lot ), and then him not be his husband the next, when I know he has been called his husband on various news sites and in the past.

I don't know why this is bothering me so much. Think I am just trying to distract myself from not killing people on the school run who are going to utter the phrase "still here?" at me.

[DailyMailNameChanger]

Lol - well I don't even have that excuse and it has almost taken over my life - I was up at 1am looking for old articles to see what SG called his partner....

My still here? response was to look at them like this then shake my head and walk on without responding - no-one ever did it more than once and they may have thought I was rude but not anywhere near as rude as they would have thought if I had said what I was really thinking

[DuelingFANGo]

if more people got angry about the thousands of couples who can't legally get 'married' then maybe the law would be changed.

[DailyMailNameChanger]

That is what I am angry aboutFANGo... see the other SG/husband thread for proof

TBH I doubt much will chang enow, they have extended the "privledge" of allowing a marraige like state... why on earth should anyone want for mnore than that?

[MaggieBehave]

Husband is just a word, which to me means a man who is married to a woman. There is a difference between a heterosexual marriage and a civil partnership... They can be equal in law but still different.

why do you all even automatically assume that all gay people want to emulate a heterosexual tradition and use the term husband or wife?

Legal civil ceremonies are open to all now.

The law i would like to see changed is elderly sisters and brothers who live together and when one dies the other has no automatic right to stay there without selling.

[stuffitllllama]

oh for god's sake does it really matter

[LadyoftheBathtub]

I think they should use husband if that's what Gately and his partner used (I'm not sure).

But if they did they would probably have an avalanche of letters from righteous types.

[BobbingForPeachys]

The correct term it seems is civil partner.

Regardless of that, I have noticed a greater emphasis lately on the difference between a civilpartnership and a maririage so will be deliberately making a greater effort to use wedding, marriage and husband.

I am fairly certain ds1 is gay; he is also being raised a Christian (albeit of the tolerant type). When he grows up I want him to be able to have a relationship that holds the same stuts legally 8and* in the public consciousness as that of heterosexual couples. Different terms works agianst that IMO.

The argument that annoys me the most is that 'husband- husband'is ocnfusing. becuase frankly if you can't sope with that, how on earth do you manage getting up each day?

[FlameWithTooManyHormones]

"becuase frankly if you can't sope with that, how on earth do you manage getting up each day?" I love you

[BobbingForPeachys]

[FlameWithTooManyHormones]

Oh DailyMail - no-one uttered the phrase. Actually, I think I may have had a slightly terrifying expression because the playground was a bit like Red Sea parting

[Ivykaty44]

I dont know how I get up in the morning - please explain husband - husband, they could be two people that are husband to wives and so not husbands to each other - how do you know? Thats the bit I find confusing.

If someone uses the word partner - then I dont asume that the other person is either male or female, ever as it could be either

But if you tell me wife or husband then I think of a sex with that frase and a couple - that is what becomes confusing to me. As I then confom, surely that isn't my fault but could leave me in the wrong?

[FlameWithTooManyHormones]

If a man is talking about his husband, then it is his male partner to whom he is married... how is that confusing?

[BobbingForPeachys]

You think of a sex and a couple

Well yes- how does that not apply to gay partnerships as well?

Think about how the phrase is used:

My husband- said by a man, you know where you are

His husband- same again

status husband, what do you need to know other than that they are partnered?

Otherwise surely people use names anyway?

I can't envisage how it would be a problem. I say Dh, or Mark.Dh says wife or Peachy.

The only time it could cause confusion is with such things as formal letters or whatever- wedding invites such as 'We request the rpesence of Mr H and ....' and that'#shardly unsolvable: guest, or husband, or name.

And if one does make a mistake from time to time- what of it? On MN: what does your DH think?

Sorry its a DW.

Oh OK what does she think then?

Can't see an issue I am afraid

[LadyoftheBathtub]

I actually did hear one news report say "he was on holiday with his husband". Not confusing! There's no possible suggestion there that there's a wife involved somewhere. The word "husband" is hardly ever used without "my" or "his/her" so it's pretty much always clear if you're talking about a woman's husband or a man's husband.

[ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave]

Some gay couples like the terms "marriage" and "husband"; others seriously dislike them (and all the baggage they carry) and prefer "civil partnership" and "partner". I think that's partly why news media get into a bit of a pickle over this -- if you were talking to/about friends then you'd know which term they preferred and use that, but (a) when you're reporting on people you don't know personally you don't have that ability and (b) when you are reporting events daily you probably feel you should use some consistent standard language across all cases. So they end up getting all tangled up in knots.

I personally think we should have one legal ceremony and institution of civil partnership, after which couples of whatever sex are spouses, and then couples are free to go through whatever religious or non-religious ceremonies they want and refer to themselves as whatever they want. But that's not going to be happening for a while (can you imagine? Copies of the Daily Mail would be spontaneously combusting all over the place...)