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do these 2 stories represent a depressing situation for women?

(9 Posts)
browntrout Wed 07-Oct-09 17:00:23

letterman apology
wife of doctor

it just seems like women are putting up with anything and putting on a brave face for their men. I know nothing about their individual behind closed door situations and they may be blissfully happy with their arrangements, however, something at the heart of all this makes me wonder.

Letterman's wife has been with him 20+ years and gets some half jokey on screen apology. I am sure he has shown contrition at home too but if it were me I wouldn't settle for a 'but seriously folks, I have done a bad thing' for the sake of preserving his audience figures.

And the doctor's wife.... he is clearly a man going about having numerous affairs and impregnating other women. Is it really 'not that important'? Do you believe her?

Am somewhat sensitive at the moment to feckless men and the presumption that it is ok to treat women like this but even so, is it only me who thinks these stories are represent a sad state of affairs?

MrsMerryHenry Wed 07-Oct-09 17:37:35

I'm not convinced that the Letterman story should be treated in the same way as the psychotic doctor. Presumably (and of course, I am guessing here) Mr and Mrs Letterman have had it out in private, and he's dealt with it properly in private. If there was a risk of the blackmail story going public - or even the affair story (that is, if it hadn't already), then I think he did the right thing - it could have become a far bigger story but instead he has taken control by nipping it in the bud by discussing it, in his characteristic way, on his show. That way it's less likely that his wife will be harassed so much by the press, among other things. I'm sure she must have agreed with this as a plan.

As for the doctor. Words escape me. What an utter cretin.

What would I do if my DH confessed to having an affair? I honestly don't know. It would hurt so much that I couldn't say whether I would take him back.

Right, glad I got my piece in before the usual suspects descend upon this thread with the usual bile.

MrsMerryHenry Wed 07-Oct-09 17:39:46

Oh, as for the stuff that Mrs Dr Erin said about his affairs not mattering all that much - I know some men as well as women are happy to have this type of open relationship, which is something I just cannot get my head around. However, I try to take a more open-minded view that if they say that's what they want, that must be what they want and therefore they must be happy with it.

ABetaDad Wed 07-Oct-09 17:44:13

browntrout - men and women are unfaithful. Many babies are born to women where the DH/DP is clearly not the father.

There is always another woman on the other side of the unfaithful man too. They are complicit if they know the score (not always obviously). In the case of Letterman it is alleged he was about to be blackmailed so it was going to come out anyway and he had to manage the situation in his personal life and also in professional life. Not easy.

In the case of the doctor, his wife says they have an unconventional relationship - some people do and they are happy to live with that.

Personally, I do not think it is OK to be unfaithful but it happens and it is clearly devastating for the innocent party.

ScaryFucker Wed 07-Oct-09 17:53:24

did anyone hear the transcript of Letterman's "speech"

very bizarre, the audience was actually clapping, whistling and cheering his admissions of marital infidelity

but then he did it in a jokey way, so that makes it ok hmm

he must be some sort of GOD in the US because it did seem as if the usual "rules" didn't apply to him

I feel very sorry for his wife, unless of course she accepted his middle-aged fumbling a long time ago

more shame on the bimbo's who went into an affair with him with their eyes wide open, actually

browntrout Wed 07-Oct-09 18:21:56

I know that infidelity isn't a male domain as such but it seems more of the standing by your partner once outed is done by women. Most men I know wouldn't for a second put up with the public revelation that they had been cuckolded. Quite what that says about the difference in the sexes I don't know. I am not saying that one is necessarily better than the other.
I dont for a second think that these women were happily aware of what was going on (there may have been some implied acceptance or turning a blind eye) but when it comes out they are called on to do the public duty thing. If that doctor's wife had said 'I knew he was having multiple affairs and it made me fucking furious/left me broken hearted but I know he isnt the kind of man to try and poison someone' I would have found it easier to understand.
Shame about Letterman as I've always quite liked him and am disappointed to find he's another shagger.
Like I said in OP, I am a bit sensitive to this subject at the mo for any numbr of reasons

MrsMerryHenry Wed 07-Oct-09 21:05:55

browntrout, I missed your line about you being a bit sensitive to this subject...really sorry to hear that. How awful for you. I hope you've got lots of RL support, plus endless supplies of high-quality chocolate.

browntrout Thu 08-Oct-09 09:26:52

oh water under the bridge now for me so not a problem - is just the same tale after tale with friends and am getting a little cross about it. Still, lots of chocolate anyway wink

MrsMerryHenry Fri 09-Oct-09 17:15:07

I can see how that would be annoying, browntrout. Well, let's have a toast to the healing power of chocolate - perhaps the only thing in life that can't let us down!

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