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Make sure your zombie plan is up to date...

(133 Posts)
StayFrostyDMisaVileRag Tue 18-Aug-09 10:56:57

Science ponders zombie attack

"If zombies actually existed, an attack by them would lead to the collapse of civilisation unless dealt with quickly and aggressively."

No shit Sherlock.

TheDMshouldbeRivened Tue 18-Aug-09 18:19:35

me too sheepgomeep blush

StayFrostyDMisaVileRag Tue 18-Aug-09 18:22:32

I too secretly fear the zombie attack. Really. I am no good in a crisis. I would be wormfood in ten minutes. This never used to bother me too harshly pre dcs, but now I literally lose sleep sometimes worrying about not being able to protect them.

TheDMshouldbeRivened Tue 18-Aug-09 18:24:27

I was ok pre children too. Now I'm scared for dd.
And I had thought about using her benzos to put her gently to sleep but then in that film The Mist, the guy kills his son as he thinks there's no hope and 5 seconds later the army arrive and blast the mist monsters.
Yes, I do lie awake fretting about this blush

StayFrostyDMisaVileRag Tue 18-Aug-09 18:36:17

Oh fuck! The Mist! I was thinking about that film today, and couldn't remember what it was called. It depressed the shit out of me. I am glad it's not just me who has a morbid fascination with the apocalypse since having dcs. Dh is a big Cormac McCarthy fan; I am not fussed. He was telling me some of the stuff that happens in The Road; just from hearing him talk about it I was awake fretting in the night. One to avoid, I feel.

Kevlarhead Tue 18-Aug-09 19:09:35

The thing about zombie survival strategies is that they tend to be envisaged by Americans, or Brits heavily influenced by Americans. Which means they leave out the key things we have in the UK which make surviving the zombie hordes that much more likely.

Castles. Great big wall. Huge gates. Specifically designed for keeping out hordes of angry stinking individuals. Hide in your nearest National Trust Property, and chuck a can of petrol over the wall once a day to immolate the horde... No problem if you've got the food.

cornsillk Tue 18-Aug-09 19:15:03

Perhaps they could write a zombie attack into the Tudors to demonstrate that.

StayFrostyDMisaVileRag Tue 18-Aug-09 19:24:20

lol cornsilk, what and compromise their fastidious historical accuracy? They would have Joss Stone fending the feckers off with an AK47 before being rescued by a helicopter flown by robots.

cornsillk Tue 18-Aug-09 19:39:00

Anne Boleyn would make a great zombie.

Kevlarhead Tue 18-Aug-09 19:41:54

I'd like to see a film where a grizzled band of stereotypical zombie film survivors band together to reach a castle, and then find it's been occupied by a coach bus full of blue-rinsers & retirees who happened to be visiting when the horde descended. Culture clash comedy/zombie horror.

AspasiaManos Tue 18-Aug-09 19:47:25

PMSL at Kevlarhead.

Why did the scientists concentrate on slooooow zombies?

Kevlarhead Tue 18-Aug-09 19:53:13

'cos they're the classic Night of the Living Dead model of zombie. The fast Zombie is more of an arriviste...

AspasiaManos Tue 18-Aug-09 19:56:06

Do you think we could have both types of zombie and they could just fight each other?

RoseBlossoms Tue 18-Aug-09 20:10:41

arrggg ive only just got that bloody e4 programe out of my mind!!

stop it!

Kevlarhead Tue 18-Aug-09 20:52:00

"Do you think we could have both types of zombie and they could just fight each other?"

Must... not... make... obvious... Harry... Hill... joke...

StayFrostyDMisaVileRag Tue 18-Aug-09 21:09:07

What happens if zombies don't feed? dh argues that they can be 'starved' into submission as they tehmselves are dead and decaying, hence if they are denied sustenance for long enough they will eventually disintegrate to a point where they are easily decapitated or otherwise destroyed.

Some good zombie films:

Chopper Chicks in Zombie Town - what it says on the tin

Hard Rock Zombies - Nazis, rock n roll, zombies and true love.

Kevlarhead Tue 18-Aug-09 21:29:52

"dh argues that they can be 'starved' into submission as they tehmselves are dead and decaying, hence if they are denied sustenance for long enough they will eventually disintegrate to a point"

28 Days Later seemed to follow this theory; the happy clappy ending included shots of starving zombies dying of starvation.

Only to be expected I suppose; brains are nutritious but fast zombies are going to need a lot more than 2500 calories a day to keep them going...

Ozziegirly Wed 19-Aug-09 03:21:37

Why are zombies intrinsically evil though? I mean, I know we assume that they will be on the rampage for brains and general violence, but why? I don't see that it follows that dead = evil.

And also, if a zombie kills you, do you become a zombie? Because, although it doesn't look great I think I would probably prefer being a zombie if zombies were the ruling force, rather than a terrified human hiding out and killing zombies. That's no life.

Tortington Wed 19-Aug-09 03:27:26

ozie has a point. what kind of people ar you to stereotype zombies this way

for all you know they could buy from boden or anything


this is racism pure and simple

i think this thread should be deleted

TheDMshouldbeRivened Wed 19-Aug-09 08:54:36

I have a friend who is a zombie but...

TheDMshouldbeRivened Wed 19-Aug-09 08:55:27

if zombies eat you how do you become one. You see poeple vanishing under a horde then 10 secs latr they are a zombie and have one bite mark. wtf?

StayFrostyDMisaVileRag Wed 19-Aug-09 09:54:08

I am sorry if I have inadvertently caused offence. I did not know 'zombie' was now considered to be an unacceptable term. I should of course have referred to 'the undead community'.

TheDMshouldbeRivened Wed 19-Aug-09 10:14:09

is 'undead' a PC term? Surely 'persons who are neither alive nor dead'?
'Persons of unlife'? Or is that using 'life' terms to define them thus, by defining them like that we are using ourselves, the living, as the norm and thus denying them a unique identity?
How should we cater to their needs?
Perhaps they are reclaiming the term 'zombie'?

WreckOfTheHesperus Wed 19-Aug-09 10:56:54

Life-free, surely? grin

VulgarAchesButCanRun5k Wed 19-Aug-09 11:16:43

Hey everyone. I just googled Professor Robert Smith?

see here

Tortington Wed 19-Aug-09 11:24:16

i am amazed that people here still use the Z word. Totally out of order.

i believe the correct phrasiology the un-respirational community

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